Friday, March 28, 2008

Annie has big news!

Thanks for waiting. Here is my big news:

It looks like I am going to need a new t-shirt for the Fruita Fall Festival!

It turns out, "I'm a big an even BIGGER deal around here!"

Last week I went to lunch with my friend Allyson, (She's moving and I'm super sad.) her sister, Adi (who is looking super hot), Adi's daughter (who loves the movie "Annie" therefore she loves me), Allyson's mom (one of the most powerful women in the Grand Valley), and Allyson's mom's friend. (Lost yet?)

At lunch Allyson's mom told her friend that I write for the Charm page (the women's page in the Daily Sentinel). To which her friend responded,

"Isn't the Charm page about to go through the a big change?"

(I'm like, wah? I thought you worked for the Heart Association. How come you know more about my job than I do?)

Not wanting to look like I was the last to know, I replied.

"Well, yes, they are going to re-tool and make it more relevant."

I thought it was a good cover, but I was actually way off base.

This news made me really nervous. I didn't know how much writing my column meant to me until I thought it might be coming to an end. I stewed over this for a couple of days until I got a call from my editor. She said, in fact, the Charm page was coming to an end. It will be replaced by a photo page.

BUT, because my column is "extremely popular" (her words not mine) they would like to move me to the Home and Garden section!

Home and Garden?! Wah? Then I realized that the Home and Garden section is in the weekend edition. They aren't burying me. They are promoting me! The Saturday edition has way more readership than the Thursday edition!

So that's it! That's my big news. I hope you are not disappointed. I'm not. I am really excited for the change. Of course, I will continue to put the Internet links to my column for you out-of-towners, so you can keep up with me.

I know that words in general have been few and far between on my blog lately. It's hard to imagine by all the weird Idol pics and video logs that this blogger is actually a paid writer, but it's true. I save up all my words for The Daily Sentinel and the Denver Post blog. I would like to think I am forever-flowing fountain of creativity, but there is a limit to what I can produce.

Here is the text of my last and final column for the Charm page.

Hi Mom. Hi Dad. Hi Frank. Sometimes I think my parents and Frank, my favorite checker at City Market, are the only people who read my column.

There has to be more than that, after all I have been writing for the Charm page for a year now.

I keep writing my column and Ann Wright keeps putting it in. She’s good like that.

I know I’m not controversial like Gary Harmon. Well, except for the time that I had the gall to suggest that Vans weren’t appropriate footwear for a professional environment. Can you believe the nerve of me?

No, I am not controversial, I am just Annie. I write about traumatizing my twins, living with a Secret Agent Man, Bollywood movies, globe-trotting, well, globe-tripping in my case.

Do you recall my column about the vision I had complete with angels and devils when I saw the red front-loading washer and dryers for the first time at Lowe's? Or the two-part column about the time I switched our dead pet hamster for a live one without my kids knowing? That was a goody.

People, and by people I mean my parents and Frank, often ask me where I get the ideas for my column.
I tell ya, I’m brilliant at two o’clock in the morning. When it’s quiet and dark in my house that is when I come up with my best stuff.

I have a little notebook next to my bed where I write down all my ideas. Fortunately, Secret Agent Man is a heavy sleeper and doesn’t mind the lamp clicking on and off 3 and 4 times a night.

But, then the sun rises and the reality filter shines a bright light on my “brilliance” from the night before, it ends up that only a third of what I write in the middle of the night is actually good. But hey, one-third, that’s not bad odds, I’ll take it. If you like one out of the three columns I write that’s good enough for me.

Now, more than a year after the conception of the Charm page it is coming to an end. But, before you go and cancel your subscription, you should know that you will now be able to find me in the Saturday edition on the Home and Garden page.

I am so excited about this change. My greatest passion is for my family and making our house a home for them. To be able to share with you my ideas, successes, and some missteps in homemaking is going to be a wonderful journey and dare I say, a piece of cake?

So, if you’re out there and you like what you read, follow me to the Home and Garden page. We will keep the conversation going and leave a comment box on each of my columns at, so you can leave your own ideas, comments, and criticisms.

Just be gentle, I’m really sensitive. Remember, I cry at hamster funerals.

But, for the love of Dick Maynard, please don’t leave me all alone, just let me know you’re out there.

Mom, Dad, Frank and I thank you for it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dear Blog, #1

Dear Blog,

I had a wonderful day today. I woke up, got the kids ready for school, dropped them off, then took a walk with my friend Deborah. Allyson was going to come to but her kid was sick so she had to stay home. After my walk, I talked to my friend Tama on the phone. We decided to go into town together. I know that sounds like we hop in the covered wagon and ride down a dirt road for two hours in our aprons and bonnets. We did some shopping. I got two new table lamps for the nightstand in my bedroom. They are really pretty. I bought them at Real Deals. Then we went to lunch at Thai Chili. I order the Tai Pad. It was good. I had leftovers. I ate them already. Then we went to Walmart. We looked at the flowers in the garden section and talked about which ones we wanted to plant this year. I had to buy some husky pants for Boy #2. I don't know why he has gained so much weight. He doesn't eat too much. I do admit that the boys need to be more active. They are turning into "vidiots." At least that is what Mini Me calls them. After Walmart we went to the Encore shop. Tama got a great deal on a pair of sandals. I almost bought a dress, but then I put it back. When we came back from town I went the tanning salon. Don't give me a lecture. I don't want to hear it. I'm going to Hawaii in April and I don't want to be pale. My 60- some year old mother-in-law goes tanning too. So there. Then I picked up the kids from school. They had a great day. Their teacher sent me a thank you note for teaching art in their class last week. That was nice. The kids wanted to go to Gofer, but I said "no." Maybe tomorrow. When I got home Hannah, my cousin, was there. She watched the kids while I washed and vaccumed the car. I got some of that spray stuff that makes your tires look really black. It's cool. I listened to my new Sheryl Crow cd while I cleaned out my car. My favorite songs on the cd are "Peace Be Upon Us" and "God Bless this Mess." Amen and amen Sister Crow. After I got the car all cleaned up, Hannah watched the kids some more while I went to church for a meeting. It was a meeting for all the adults who teach the children on Sundays. We talked about how close children are to God and the different ways that we can show them love. The speaker, my personal friend Kelli, referenced Gary Chapmans book "The Five Languages of Love." It was really inspirational and then we had brownies. I'm home now. Hannah is gone. The kids are in bed. Mini Me is in my bed. I am already thinking about all that I have to get done tomorrow. Top of the list: Lunch with friends. Bottom of the list: Laundry.

Thanks for listening,

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Anniethology on Idol: "Idol, whooz ur mama?"

I'm not too proud to throw myself into the mix! I can dish it out and I can take it!



If Kristy doesn't go home tonight, she will be poised to be the next Sanjaya. Week after week, more talented contestants will go home, while Kristy survives each cut with the
"hot chick" vote or the "I heart cocker spaniels" vote.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Anniethology on Idol: "Idol, whooz ur daddy?"

Whooz ur daddy, David Cook?

Gobo Fraggle of Fraggle Rock!

So that is where all the rock talent comes from! That makes total sense.

I am not the only blogger on Al Gore's Internets making likeness comparisons with the Idols, but I am certain that I am the only one who has come up with possible DNA matches with the likes of Lamb Chop and Fraggle. I am the only one bold enough to make comparisons outside our species. Oh yeah!

Simon has critized David for looking too self-assured. That is laughable coming from him! But, he is misreading David's facial expressions. He is taking raised eyebrows for over-confidence, which, in fact is not what he is doing at all. The raising of the eyebrows while he sings is just a way to make his giant forehead look smaller. I know this, because I have used this trick myself. If you have a forehead wider than four fingers, you know what I am typing about. (You are putting your hand up to your forehead and checking right now, arent ya?) Watch it tonight. You'll see for yourself. You know I'm right.

There ya go! You have two things to watch out for tonight. Count how many times David Archuleta licks his lips and how many times David Cook raises his eyebrows. Report back after the show. You know I will!

(Oh, the microscope we put these kids under, it's shameful, really shameful. Am I ashamed? You know I am.)

Update: David and David made a liar out of me! Obviously, they read my blog before the show;) There was absolutely no eyebrow raising or lip licking to be had.
In fact, David Cook is making me a believer. (I can't believe I am saying that.) I loved the version of Billy Jean he sang. They definitely saved the best for last.
Everyone else as great, too. This is an amazing season. Except for Kristy Lee Cook. Simon was right when he said she made a "clever" choice in song. She is going to need the patriotic vote to stay in the competition. The judges were even more clever for not calling her out on it. That would just enrage the red-neck, Dixie Chick hatin' crowd. Don't get me wrong, I love my country, but it's going to take way more than that country fair-esque version of "God Bless the USA" to save her from the bottom three this week.

Just keepin' it real.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Blog Pic Photo Dump

I was browsing through my Blog Pics folder and I realized that I have a lot of photos in there that I have never used. I threw in a couple that I may have used before, too, just so we can reminisce about the good times.
Taken with the camera phone last fall. Moral of the story: Whatever you do, don't forget your pants!

I ♥ pancakes, big time!

"Please Suri, don't run so fast. I can't keep up with you in my huge, plaid pants."

"I should have been her daddy."

P.S. Jen is dead.

Would anyone like to take a wild guess at which one is my kid?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Easter: International Holiday of Mystery

Click here to read my never been seen anywhere before Easter post at my blog-home-away-from home, The Mile High Mamas! It's about the most mysterious holiday ever!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Things I learned from American Idol

Brook White dances like Elaine Benes.

Ryan prefers Chikezie's sweat to David Cook's spit.

David Archuleta only licked his lips 4 times. (I don't think that is a lot, E-dub. Carronin said that it might be a nervous habit and he didn't seem very nervous this week.)

Syesha: "♪ There's a dark cloud hanging over me. ♪"
Me: "Yeah, it's called the Bottom 3." Ouch.

Chikezie can go from Brian McKnight to Taylor Hicks in the flash of a harmonica.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Guess who loves Littlest Pet Shop?

As far as interactive pet websites go, I think Little Pet Shop VIP's are the best. I may be making some enemies here, but I think they are cuter than webkinz. Doh!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"Who says band's not cool?"

This is a short video of the Venezuelan National Youth Orchestra. They are directed by a young man named, Gustavo Dudamel. Many of you know that I lived in Venezuela for over a year as a missionary for my church. I miss mi otra patria (my other homeland). I would love a chance to go back. I keep in regular contact with a couple of queridas amigas (dear friends). One of them recently sent me this video. I love it because it embodies the spirit and exuberance of the Venezuelan people. Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Anniethology on Idol: "Idol, whooz ur mama?"


If she makes it through another week, it's only because she is pretty. That crazy country number stressed me out. It made me want to throw a cowboy boot at something.
Lamb Chop


Don't say that you don't see the resemblance. This is the first week that I am actually rooting for Brooke White. Her emotionality was so tender and her song was amazing. Since the "Golden Boy" David Archuleta forgot his words, maybe the Mormon vote will swing the other way toward Brooke tonight.

I think the best performance tonight was a tie between Brooke and David Cook. I will predict that either David Hernandez, due to his bad publicity, or Kristy Cook will go home tomorrow.

Update: Goodbye David Hernandez. It's hard being right all the time. It's a solemn responsibility. I promise to use my powers for good.

Monday, March 10, 2008

My rotten bag of potatoes is bettter than your rotten bag of potatoes

I cleaned out my pantry on Thursday. In the way-way back ,this is what I found!
Beat that! Ha!
A dozen tentacles measuring over a foot and a half long.

Rosie is not afraid of it. Look at the shadow. Rosie look's like Medusa!

This is for Jean Knee. If you haven't already, check out the funny swimsuit pics she put on her blog.

Aren't you super glad you came to my blog today?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Anniethology on Idol: Danny Noriega was good TV + "Idol, whooz ur daddy?"

I have to say that I am sorry to see Danny Noriega go. He was good TV. I thought I would have at least another week or two to post his DNA results. I made a call to the "Idol, whooz ur daddy?" lab and had the results rush delivered to the "Anniethology on Idol" desk.
Here are the results: Dim the lights, please.
Suzie Quatro a.ka. Leather Tuscadero

Adam Sandler as Little Nicky

Danny Noriega, now known as the 13th American Idol Runner up

Anniethology on Idol: The Girls languish in the 80'z

Again, the girls are picking up the scraps after the guys. It's the guys competition to lose this year.

I can't believe that of all the dance and british invasion music of the 80's they had to chose from, most of them picked boring ballads.

Although, I do have to give Brook White some props, I liked her version of "Love is a Battlefield." Paula was right though, it could have used a little more band. As much as a liked the acoutstic version, I would have liked to hear her sing it straight. I think she could have pulled it off.

I think I got to Amanda O. She's read my blog and is hurt by my pictures of her possible parentage. For the record, I did say in the comments that, in reality, she does have a very attractive mother. She didn't look in the camera once during her performance last night. Did you notice? I didn't want to deflate her. If she can't handle a few good natured ribbings from a "mom blog" then this biz isn't for her. She did look WAY better last night, don't ya think?

"Don't listen to me, Amanda. You go out there and do your best. Don't think about me and my DVR and my digital camera, taking crazy still shots of you and putting them on my blog. Just do your rock thing and fahgetaboutit."

I have no prediction on who should go. Take `em. Take any of them. I don't care.

Scroll down and show me comment love over at the Mile High Mamas today, too. Smooch!

Bloggers are like family

The Elasticwaistbandlady said once that she blogs because she can tell the same old stories, that she has been telling her family over and over for years, to a whole new group of people.

Once you have been blogging for awhile your fellow bloggers become like family. Click here to read one of my same old stories, told in a different way.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Anniethology on Idol: I don't know, dawg... plus, more "Idol, whooz ur daddy?"

This guy is gone for sure. I'd bet my Idol fanatic reputation on it.

He should have channeled his progenitor, may Andy Gibb rest in peace, a little more. He has a Bee Gee-esque voice, for whining out loud! Why, oh why didn't he sing "How Deep is Your Love?"

(photo formatted and sanitized for your protection)

Luke's performance was even more girly than Danny Noriega's, if that is possible. Tainted love is right. That hip shimmy Danny pulled just about put an eye out or at least that what I felt like doing at that moment.

"My eyes, my eyes, my innocent eyes. I'll never be the same."
I will reiterate what I said before: It's a shame they will draw equally from the guys and the girls to create the Top 12.
As for the the other guy whose A.I. journey will end Thursday night, your guess is as good as mine. So, what's your guess, who else will go home?