“Mom, I’m not kidding. I really am pregnant with twins.”
Their incredulousness was due to the fact that my brother and his wife had just delivered their own twin boys the month before.
I was only eight weeks along when I went in for an ultrasound due to a little spotting. I told Secret Agent Man that it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t need to take time off for the appointment. By then, I felt fine and the possibility of twins never even crossed my mind.
“Well, there’s one of the babies.”
They looked like two little pieces of rice in a sea of darkness in the small black and white print- out the doctor’s office gave me. A few weeks later we found out we were also having boys.
The rest of my pregnancy went off without a hitch. I was lucky enough to carry my twins full term. I was huge! People would ask me if I was twelve months pregnant. So sensitive.
I remember when I was driving through a drugstore parking lot, there were some guys hanging out in front of the store. They whistled and cat-called to me as I drove by with my window down. They watched me as I pulled into my parking spot and waddled out of the car. When they saw the behemoth of a pregnant lady, they sulked away, embarrassed. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. Pregnant ladies are prone to incontinence.
We planned a scheduled c-section the day before Thanksgiving. My parents traveled from Colorado to California for the birth.
The day before I checked into the hospital, I decided I needed a new pair of slippers. I remember standing in the mouse maze of a checkout line at Burlington Coat Factory. (They sell more than just coats.) My parents left the store to pull the car around for me. After standing in line for ten minutes, I finally made it up to the cashier. She told me I couldn’t pay with a credit card at that register and I would have to get back in line. I wanted to yell,
“Hey, can’t you tell I’m twelve months pregnant? Give me a break!”
Instead, I just left the slippers at the counter and walked out. My parents were so upset to see their little/big pregnant girl, empty-handed and on the verge of tears, they took me to JcPenney and bought me a new nightgown, robe and slippers. Take that Burlington Coat Factory!
The morning of my c-section I showered, put on make-up, curled my hair, and put on my nicest maternity dress. When we got to the hospital, the nurses met me at the door with a wheelchair. I refused. I told them that I had carried my babies this far, I would walk into Labor and Delivery on my own steam.
An hour later, I wasn’t full of so much gumption. The operating room was cold and I had nothing on but a surgical gown. They hadn’t let Secret Agent Man in yet and when I saw that long needle they wanted to stick in my back, I went into panic mode. I quickly concocted a plan. I could use one hand to support my burgeoning belly and the other hand to hold back of my gown closed. I thought if I could make it out the hospital doors, I could deliver my babies in the bushes. I don’t know why I thought that would be a better option. It was about that time when my husband came in the room. I knew I couldn’t get passed him, so I resigned myself to that fact that this was going to happen with or without my cooperation.
The operation was quick. The first sight of my babies turned my panic into elation. I was the mother of two healthy twin boys, tipping the scales at 7 lbs and 8.3 lbs.
The weeks and months to follow were a sleepless blur of feedings and changings. I’m glad we took a lot of pictures, because I don’t remember much of that first year.
Today, my twins are 11-years-old. Every year I am amazed that I have kept them alive for this long. I am very proud of them and happy that they have each other.
Happy Birthday, Boys! Mama loves you.