Anniethology

Mama's new kicks

2012-01-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

I've been a Nike wearer for years. I love my Nikes, because I've never had any sort of foot problems during my workouts or hikes. But, when I saw these babies, I had to give them a try. They are super light-weight and I feel like I get the full range of motion when I run. No more Napolean Dynamite shuffle for me! Aside from the comfort and peformance, they look great. I'm too much of a Fancy Nancy to wear tennis shoes all day, but with my new Reeboks I don't feel like I'm sacrificing fashion for function. This may sound like a paid endorsement, trust me, it's not, but if Reebok would like to compensate me for my glowing endorsement, I'd happily accept a matching running shirt!

2012: Bring on the kitchen god

2012-01-01T17:12:00.002-07:00

Check out my new blog "Applewood Lane," to read about a new Chinese tradition I plan on adopting.

How To Make Better Media Choices for Your Family

2011-11-17T20:55:00.004-07:00

Have you ever wondered how your kid's video game got its rating? What's the difference between E for Everyone, E 10+, or T for Teen? What about PG to PG13? Is that new TV show with the funny family really family-friendly?

Check out my new post on new blog, Applewood Lane , to learn what I'm doing to protect my kids from all the media smut out there.

Visit me at my new blog: Applewood Lane

2011-11-15T22:09:00.007-07:00

Applewood Lane

You: But why, Annie, why why why would you start a new blog?!

Me: I don't know.

I can promise you this though, I won't post any Bollywood videos to it.

"The Lane" is a little muddy right now, but I forsee lots of posts about home, family, DIY projects, organization, nostalgia, pithy commentary, and the like.

You: I don't get it. How is that different from Anniethology?

Me: I don't know.

You'll just have to follow me down the lane to find out. I promise it will change your life.

You: Wait, that's what you said about this blog? How is Applewood Lane going to change my life?

Me: I don't know.

You: What do you know?

Me: uhhhh

Bollywood Dance Number: Diskowale Khisko from Dil Bole Hadippa

2011-11-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween from Flo and Fabrina the Tweenage Witch!

2011-10-29T22:19:00.002-06:00

"What? You don't want broomstick insurance?!"

I did it! FHE Magnetic Assignment Board

2011-10-15T17:51:00.002-06:00

Every Fall my church has a craft day called Super Saturday! I will be showing the churchies how to make this!

Yes! You can make homemade furniture polish.

2011-10-05T18:23:00.007-06:00

A few months ago we took a trip down the California coastline. Our journey brought us to Hearst Castle, built by gagillionaire William Hearst in the early 1900's.

In the Refectory, or dining room as the simple folk like to call it, there is a long dining table reclaimed from a monastery. When I asked the tour guide how they got the table so shiny, he replied, "500 years of elbow grease." I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME!

I've never been completely happy with store-bought polish, so I went to the Internet(s) to see what the clever moms out there were doing to shine their furniture. Two simple ingredients. I couldn't belive it was that easy: lemon juice and olive oil. That's it. I used my microfiber glove to apply the mixture, always rubbing with the grain of the wood, a little tooth brush to get to the nooks and crannies while I was at it, and a soft, clean cloth the remove the excess. Just a few simple steps to homemade furniture polish. Works great, smells even better. Castle living can't get much easier!

Mother's Day Weekend DIY: The house with the blue door

2011-05-09T17:32:00.004-06:00

UPDATE: Now I have my flowers planted! I am more in love with my door than ever. Whenever I am feeling "blue," I just go look at my door!

Now that I have retired from writing my Home and Garden column, I finally have time to do some of the things I've written about.

From Mega Greige to...

... Aerospace Blue.

I can hardly stand how much I love this color. It was leftover paint from my upstairs hallway. I hated it in the hallway and painted over it a few months later. I L.O.V.E. it on the frontdoor.

It took me less than two hours, with the bulk of the time being dedicated to taping off the glass and edges. I used sponge brushes for ease of application. My next project? Paint the backdoor the exact same color.

P.S. My blog is not dead yet, it's feeling better. It's feeling happy. I think it would like to take a walk. (Name that movie.)

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 10 James Durbin

2011-04-03T13:06:00.002-06:00

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 10 Casey Abrams

2011-03-23T20:36:00.004-06:00

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 10 Naima Adedapo

2011-03-21T09:12:00.004-06:00

Figured I'd better get Naima's possible parentage documented before she leaves American Idol. Bottom 3 for last week, doh! I know she has it in her to go further. Come on, Girl, I'm rooting for you!

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 10 Scotty McCreery

2011-03-01T22:08:00.004-07:00

It's an American Idol tradition and honor to be featured on the Anniethology,

"Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" If you are an American Idol contestant, you know you've arrived if you've been featured on Anniethology. Congratulations, Scotty McCreery!

Thanks goes to my sister, Carrie, for the inspiration for this week's installment.

Annie on the Trends: Blanketwear

2011-02-21T08:58:00.008-07:00

I'm all for keeping up with the trends, but this pink scarf from Downeast Basics

...is just one step away from blanketwear.

Look who else loves their pink wo0bie.

But, who am I to judge? Someone who owns this blog, who will go unmentioned, took their pink woobie to college.

Annie on the Trends: Chambray

2011-02-18T18:54:00.003-07:00

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 10 Bret Loewenstern

2011-02-18T18:49:00.001-07:00

Book Signing in San Diego this week!

2011-01-31T10:01:00.005-07:00

I'll be signing books in Borders this week in San Diego. Not my own books, but I'll be signing them all the same. Bring one of your own for me to sign if you like, I'll provide the Sharpie!

In addition to doing laundry and packing for my "book tour," I am losing myself in this mini-series.

I can't decide which daughter I am more like, Molly or Cynthia.

I can't decide whether Netflix streaming video is the best or worst thing to ever happen to me.

I can't decide whether I should pack boots or flip-flops for San Diego.

Well, probably running shoes, once security catches me signing books, again, I'm gonna hafta make a run for it.

"Easy A" Sharpening Pencils

2011-01-26T16:18:00.001-07:00

Because you didn't ask and you don't care, here is my second favorite scene from "Easy A."

"I gotta, I gotta, I gotta pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine!"

2011-01-26T09:42:00.004-07:00

"Easy A" is easily the best comedy of 2010! I watched it three times. I love counting the 80's teen movie references. This was my favorite scene. Thanks Aubrey Annie for leading me there.

Try getting this out of yer head. Yer welcome!

My final column for the Home and Garden section of The Daily Sentinel

2011-01-22T18:40:00.004-07:00

I’ve kept a faithful diary since I was thirteen. Over the years, for better or worse, my diary has morphed from book form to electronic- now consisting mostly of my blog, my Facebook wall, my Twitter account and this column.
When it wasn’t laced with teenage angst, my diary is a reminder of lessons learned. It’s been invaluable for me to look back and read some of the “bread crumbs on the trail of life” I have left for myself and my posterity.
I would like to share with you today (but it’s actually more of a reminder to myself), some of my best Home and Garden advice.

“When motivation is low, set a timer for 15 minutes and get to work.”
This advice is especially appropriate for this time of year when the “winter gloomies” set in. Sometimes household tasks can become too daunting. Setting a timer for fifteen minutes and committing yourself to stop working when the time is up keeps you from becoming too overwhelmed. Sometimes you find that once you have started working, you get into a zone and you don’t want to stop until the task is finished.
You would be surprised how much can be accomplished in a few fifteen-minute flashes of effort.
Kids are motivated by the timer, too. It becomes a fun competition for them to see what they can do in that amount of time. Speaking of kids…

“Household maintenance is not a one-woman show.”
This has become truer for me in the past few months. Transitioning from SAHM to working mother, I’ve had to rely more on my 12-year-old twin sons and their 9-year-old sister for the day-to-day upkeep of our home. Cleaning the kitchen is now (almost) solely their responsibility, along with the cleaning of their rooms and bathroom. Mom works, dad works, the kids need to work too.
Teach children early that they are a part of a family and as a part of the family they have responsibilities in the family home. As toddlers I had my kids mopping floors, folding towels, and running little errands for me in the house. I now reap the rewards of having helpful, independent, older children.

“Life is not a Pottery Barn Catalog”
One of the goals of my column has been to bring the joy back into homemaking, which includes reminding people that home doesn’t have to look like, as I like to call it, a “Lottery Farm” catalog.
I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from purchasing things from the “Lottery Farm,” I would just like to dissuade someone from thinking that they have to, in order to be happy. An item for item recreation of page eighty-six is not necessary.
That picture of perfection is not real. It’s a set. It’s as real as an airbrushed cover girl. She is not that thin, her hair is not that full and her skin is not that flawless.
Real homes, happy homes, practical homes are not that clean, not that orderly, and not that perfect, because what is missing from that photo set is the family.
What makes a house a home isn’t the over-sized glass decanter filled with corks. It’s not a couch covered with so many pillows there is no place to sit. It’s the people that eat, sleep, laugh, and leave their socks on the floor that make it a home. It’s the people that bounce the basketball in the kitchen. It’s the people who leave a trail of backpacks, coats, and shoes from the front door to the couch that make a home.

“Quit while you’re ahead.”
The dishes are done, the laundry is folded, sure, the pantry could use some organization, but as my mentor, Erma Bombeck, so famously said,
“Cleaning the house while kids are still growing is like, shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing.”
There are always going to be chores to do, but your children aren’t always going to want to play video games with you. Know when to say “when.” Stop and enjoy the family and home you have now.
And that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
This will be my last article for the Home and Garden section. It’s time for me to turn the page of my diary and enjoy a little more the family, home, and life I have right now. I want to thank my faithful readers for their love and encouragement over the past four years. Perhaps I’ll grace the pages of The Daily Sentinel again someday, but for now…

Dear Diary,
Today is going to be a good day.

As seen in the Saturday, January 22, 2011 edition of The Daily Sentinel

Even CNN thinks growing grass in my sink is newsworthy!

2011-01-20T21:36:00.005-07:00

Click here to see my local news story that made it to the big time!

This is the "after" shot. I no longer have grass in my sink, but our happy little story

just won't die.

This blog has not been abandoned...

2011-01-19T09:07:00.004-07:00

...it just looks like it has.

But, just like the spring rains bring life back to the desert, American Idol will breathe life back into this barren wasteland of a blog once again.

I present the continuation of Anniethology's most popular posts, "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" created exclusively for and by anniethology.blogspot.com.

Here is a look back at some of our greatest hits!

P.S. JLo, I love you. You are forever my flygirl. See you tonight.

Anniethology Holiday Gift Guide for Homies

2010-12-18T09:18:00.004-07:00

One of my greatest pleasures is to recommend something I that I love, and have the “recommendee” love it too.
Allow me to recommend to you this gift guide for the “Homie” (Home and Garden enthusiast) on your life. I have created two lists: A list of things that I love and a list of things I would like to love.
Things I Love
· The Dyson has been my vacuum of choice for seven years. Many family members, friends, and readers have purchased the Dyson on my recommendation, without regret, despite the $400-$500 price tag. That may seem like a lot, but if you take into consideration the years of highly effective, nearly maintenance-free operation, it’s well-worth its cost.

Recently, though, my Dyson has suffered a setback and will need a trip to the Dyson doctor. I have yet to coerce a confession from the Payne children-perhaps a brighter light bulb in the interrogation lamp is needed- but all I know for sure is that someone in vacuumed up something wet and sticky, which is not recommended for optimal suction and contrary rules of regular operation. I am hoping for good news from the Dyson doc; I’ll let you know the prognosis.

· Would you like to take some of the drudgery out of cooking and cleaning for your favorite homie? How about making her look and feel adorable as she cleans the toilets or chops the veggies?

I recommend an apron and coordinating rubber gloves from “Diva Aprons.” Feminine styles, fun fabrics, and the fact that they are reversible, set them apart from other aprons. Use one side of the apron for cleaning and then flip it around for when you do the cooking.

Michele S., creator and head seamstress extraordinaire of “Diva Aprons” has combined with purveyor of handbags, belts, and jewelry, Amanda B. of “The Western Diva” to form a unique boutique store-within-a-store called, “The Two Divas.” Their boutique located inside of Real Deals on Hwy. 6 & 50, has its grand opening today. Talk about a one-stop holiday shopping for the domestic diva in your life.

· Being a woman who hates to have a lot of miscellany on her countertops, I recommend, the Caldrea Kitchen Caddy from Target. This simple, yet sophisticated cleaning caddy priced at $20, comes with hand soap, counter cleaner, and dish soap. It’s available in several scents, but I recommend the citron ginger. With its simple styling and kitchen friendly fragrance, you won’t mind it gracing your countertops.

Things I Would Like to Love
These next two items come highly recommended from a friend and fellow “homie.” If I am a good girl, perhaps next year they will make it onto the list of things I already love. (Note to Secret Agent Man: This is the part where you should make the most of your photographic memory.)

· The Shark Easy and Light Steam Mop enables you to clean quickly and simply and sanitize your hard floor surfaces. It’s available at Bed Bath and Beyond for $69.99. More expensive models are also available for the over-achieving gift giver.

· The Rowenta Pro Compact Steamer, also available at Bed Bath and Beyond and costs $50, takes wrinkles out of clothes and curtains with this lightweight, easy-to-use steamer. It heats up in just two minutes. No more excuses sending the kiddos out the door in wrinkled t-shirts and jeans. Just fire up the steamer and blast the wrinkles into oblivion. Not recommended for use while the kids are wearing the clothes, by the way.

Whether you chose one of the products I love for your “homie” for Christmas or one of the products I would like to love, one thing I know for sure is that no one has ever regretted taking my advice.

For more information about “The Two Divas” check out their websites: Domesticdivaaprons.com and Westerndivahandbags.com.

If you have Home tips, topics, or projects you would like to share with Annie Payne, please contact her at annie.payne@bresnan.net.

The More the Merrier: What to do with multiple Christmas trees.

2010-12-07T09:23:00.006-07:00

As seen in the Home of Garden section of The Daily Sentinel, Saturday, December 4, 2010. Sorry, no pictures, from the actual article; the newspaper owns them.

A year ago I wrote a column entitled, "What does your Christmas tree say about you?" Said column brought me instant fame and glory; in Manitoba. It also acquainted me with Darrell Jones. He sent me an e-mail to inquire if he had multiple Christmas trees, what did that say about him? Multiple personalities?
When you think of someone who puts up more than one tree each year, perhaps you think are cuckoo for Christmas or a tree hoarder, and those types of people are out there, but Mr. Jones is not one of them. After visiting his home this week, I would consider him a prime example of how to do multiple trees in a classy, understated way, if decorating multiple trees in your house could be called, “understated.”
The decision process to put up more than one tree is not that different from whether or not to have pet. Can you afford it? Do you have room for it? Who will take care of it?
Speaking of pets, Jones’ dog, Jagger, doesn’t seem to mind the extra company during the holidays, when I asked Jones about it, he said that his faithful Golden Retriever never bothers his collection of trees.
Jones has nine, in fact; four trees in the house and five trees outside. He started this tradition several years ago, when he was working as a building manager and was decorating trees for the building lobby and tenants. The habit just sort of stuck. Friends, co-workers, and now columnists, appreciate his efforts as he hosts several holiday parties during the Christmas season to show-off his collection.
Jones starts out with a theme. This year, his trees are white, each with a different color of ornaments and lights. The largest, and most impressive, tree stands in the center of the front room. It has gold ornaments with white lights. One of the most eye-catching is a sunburst ornament he picked up in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
The tree in the corner of the kitchen has red ornaments, including chili peppers, and red lights. The tree in his dining room, the smallest of the four, has green and blue ornaments with green lights, and finally the tree in the boudoir, which strays from the theme because it’s green, casts an inviting glow with gold lights and white ornaments.
When I asked if there’s a possibility of more trees in the future and where he would draw the line, he answered,
“I don’t think there is a line, as long as it doesn’t look cluttered. He added,
“If there is a line, I just don’t know where it is.”
Jones has a no-furniture-moving policy when it comes to setting up the trees or deciding where they will go. This keeps the collection under control.
Here are some of Jones’ tips for setting up multiple trees and creating your own winter wonderland:

Start off with a small cluster of trees where you would usually set up your single tree. Perhaps that would be a little less intimidating than trying to decide which empty corner to fill in your house.
To keep the trees from looking overloaded he suggests making sure each ornament has room to hang properly as opposed to sitting on the branch below.
He takes a stand-back-and-look approach, when hanging the ornaments. Hang a few, then stand back and look, and make adjustments as needed.
Jones also suggests making sure the lights are hung uniformly with equal distance between each row of strands. When asked if there was anything he absolutely would not put on his trees, the answer was “blinking lights.” He thinks they look cheap.
The final bit of advice Jones gave is to not let Christmas decorations linger longer than they should. He carefully stores is trees and ornaments on January 2nd. No fail.
So what do Darrell Jones’s trees say about him? They say, as long as it’s done in a tasteful way, “The more the merrier.”

#FF Follow Friday: Blogs worth following

2010-11-19T08:03:00.003-07:00

I met this sweet girl on my trip to Memphis last month. Found out today that she is a foodie and loves to write about it. Her blog is Clara Cupcake: A blog for hungry people. Shopping, preparing, cooking, and cleaning up food is a necessary evil for me to keep my family alive, but Clara makes it look so appealing. Check out this big cookie cake she made!

Also,

Another lady I know in real life. She is sharing her struggle with cancer. The "Big C" is so scary to me, but Jen's blog , Mormoncancermommy.blogspot.com: "A Day in the LIfe of a Cancer Mommy," takes out the mystery and shares her story with a lot of heart. She's just doing her best as a wife and mother to young children, in the fight for her life. Show both of these wonderful ladies some comment love today, would ya?

Daring to Dine with Color

2010-11-16T08:02:00.002-07:00

I am the type of person that doesn’t need to be talked into color. I need to be talked out of it. If I had my way, it would look like Rainbow Brite painted my house.
In our last home, I experimented with color (to the chagrin of Secret Agent Man) a lot. I had a “Vigorous Violet” master bathroom and a “Chinese Red” wall in the kitchen, and a “Victorian Rose” front door.
Currently at the House of Payne, I’ve dialed back the experimentation quite a bit. “Accessible Beige” has dominated nearly every square inch for six years. It’s a great neutral color, but I decided it’s time to spice things up in my dining room.
This time I enlisted the help of recent Interior Design graduate, Erica Burgon. I needed someone with an education in color theory and good taste to bounce my ideas off.

I appreciate her design philosophy that “if you love it, it works!”
One thing she noticed right off the bat was that the off-white walls of our dining room didn’t lend anything to the feel or look of the room.

Burgon said, "Design should reflect who you are.”

She noted we are a fun family with a busy life, who enjoy being together. She also knew of my desire to give the Payne’s a beautiful and formal place to congregate, in a house that is usually littered with jackets, shoes, backpacks, and more soda cans than this columnist would like to admit.

“I want to help you discover your flair for design,” she said. And with that she pulled out her color sample fan deck and we set to the task of choosing a wall color that would set a mood and make a statement that would enhance the room and not be a distraction.

She first introduced me to some recent color trends:
· Bold brights that make a traditional home and pieces look more unique and add an eclectic element, like: tomato red, berry magenta, deep apricot, exotic coral and peacock blue.
· Complex neutrals that you can’t pin down with a single word, like: bluish, greenish, or pinkish beige. These colors are inspired by natural woods and hand-dye fabric. The new neutrals tend to be more refined than raw.
· Turquoise and clear, light blue continue to be popular colors in home design. Paired with white for a clean combination or set off with red for contrast, the blue family won’t be going anywhere soon.

I considered all the color trends Burgon presented when picking a paint color. I even took into consideration that my feng shui practitioner told me that my dining room was located in the wealth quadrant of my home and according to Asian tradition, purple was the color of wealth.

Erika steered me away from using purple on the walls, but knowing my need for “good chi,” she promised to bring in the purple through a floral arrangement for the table.

We finally decided to use one of the “complex neutrals.” We chose a color in the same family as “Accessible Beige,” just a few shades darker, a greenish taupe called “Virtually Taupe,” from Sherwin Williams.

After a cumulative eight hours of labor, including shopping for paint and accessories and an overall cost of $150, I am in love with my spicier, more sophisticated, formal dining room.
With Erica Burgon’s help, I took my dining room from drab to fab. Now, if Rainbow Brite shows up for dinner, she’s going to have to ditch the multi-colored leg warmers for something a little more formal.

To find out more about Eric Burgon’s designs, visit her website at EricaBurgonDesign.com.

Everyone has a twin. Here's mine! + Monday Mysteries

2010-11-15T10:41:00.004-07:00

Clickety here to read all about our similarities.

Now, I have to finish putting on my make-up. Skipped the mascara this morning, as I was headed to the chiropractor and all my effort to glamorize gets left on the face paper anyway.

Then off to the orthodontist with Boy #2. Will the Payne's be three for three for retainers? We will find out.

After that, I'll be on-air from 4-7pm. We will discuss, of course, Bristol Palin's chances for staying another week on DWTS. And, during the traffic report, I'll announce what is on the 5th Street Bridge. What will it be?

We will find out.

Later tonight, I am going to a Norwex party with my neighbor. I have a feeling my life is about to change. Will I spend $75 on microfiber cloths that allow you to skip cleaner all together? We will find out.

These and many more mysteries to be unveiled on this the third Monday of November 2010.

The Payne Family Full-Proof Anti-Gastrointestinal Stressitude Halloween Plan

2010-10-23T19:08:00.003-06:00

To say that I love Halloween would be an understatement. It doesn’t matter whether I dress up as Sarah Palin or Zombie Mom (which for some could be considered one in the same). If I could breathe Halloween, I would. If I could bathe in Halloween, I would. If I could legally change my name to “Halloween,” I would. But who would read a column written by someone named “Halloween Payne?” Muwahahaha!
I remember a night, sometime during the 80’s, when I suffered Halloween pain. Dressed in my mom’s pink chiffon robe with marabou feather trim and a tin foil crown, I took to the streets with a blue floral pillowcase in hand to trick o’ treat.
Usually, the kids in our Redlands neighborhood would just make the loop around Terrace Drive. But, if we were lucky, one of our parents would drive us to the nearby neighborhood of Panorama, where we could collect triple the candy in half the time. We were even luckier still if we could then go to Monument Village, where it was rumored they passed out full-sized candy bars!
By ten o’clock the following morning, still dressed in my mom’s robe and dilapidated crown, with a half of a masticated Tootsie Roll in my mouth and the other half in my hair, surrounded by empty candy wrappers, I reached down into the bottom of my once heavy-laden pillowcase to find it completely empty.
In twelve short hours, I had eaten my weight in candy.
What happened after the sugar rush had worn off and the gastrointestinal difficulties began isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy, let alone my own children.
In order to spare the Payne kids, each year we enact a three-fold plan; it’s all about prevention, intervention and moderation. I’ve written about it before, but it’s worth repeating, especially if I could save just one child from the same painful, shame-filled fate I experienced in the 80’s. It’s called,
“The Payne Family Full-Proof Anti-Gastrointestinal Stressitude Halloween Plan”
Prevention
The prevention part of my plan consists of a pre-trick o’ treating dinner. I make sure my kids have their stomachs full of “real food,” before their big night of haunting.
It’s a Payne family Halloween tradition that our pre-trick o’ treating dinner consist of a “mystery menu.” If we are having spaghetti, I’ll change the name to “Worms with Gut Sauce.” Or if chili is on the menu, I’ll change the name to “Ground Goblin Brains with Beans.”
Adding food coloring is another easy, but fun way we add some creepiness to our Halloween dinner. For instance, “Black as a Bat Meat Loaf” or “Purple People Eater Chicken Pot Pie.”
With their stomachs full of a spooky, but square meal, a few pieces of candy before bed shouldn’t be a big deal.
Intervention
All the collected candy goes in a communal bowl. Then (and this is the best part of my plan), Secret Agent Man and I go through the bowl to pick out any candy that may be “tainted,” i.e.: Snickers or Peanut M &M’s. They can keep the Three Muskeeters, in my opinion.
This whittles the cache down quite a bit. If you try my plan at home, what you do with the “tainted” candy is up to you (wink).
Moderation
We keep our communal candy bowl in a secure area (like Secret Agent Man’s desk drawer) where I, as the “Candy Cop” dole out a few pieces of candy at a time over the next few weeks.
Last year, our communal candy bowl lasted until the day before Christmas. All the “good stuff” was gone the first week. By December we almost had to force ourselves to finish off the Bit O’ Honeys, Necco Wafers, and Boston Baked Beans. Who passes that stuff out anyway?
Thankfully over the years I’ve learned to celebrate Halloween more responsibly. I need to set an example for my children, after all. I can keep the Zombie Mom or Sarah Palin costume, but, please loyal readers, save me from myself. If you see me in line at the DMV, do me a favor; ask me to step aside, save me from changing my name to Mrs. Halloween Payne.

A party I'm sorry I missed

2010-10-11T19:40:00.003-06:00

"Witchy Women!"

Check it out here and here. Fun ladies, creative decor, yummy foods, perfect evening!

Decorating begets more decorating

2010-10-05T18:47:00.003-06:00

Just like potato chip munching, once you start you can't stop. I added this little banner or pennants to my halloween house. It's been a long time since I've busted out the craft paper, ribbons, and glue sticks. It felt really good to be crafty again. Now, I need to clean off my little project from Secret Agent Man's desk before he gets back from...from...well, I could tell you, but then I'd hafta...you know the rest.

All Booooteeful for Halloween!

2010-10-04T18:33:00.002-06:00

WANTED: PreFerably AliVe, RolE ModeLs

2010-09-26T23:05:00.003-06:00

I am taking applications for roles models. The only pay is my eternal adoration. I know it's not much, but people have told me that I am really good at giving compliments and if you like someone telling you how wonderful you are, perhaps you should apply. Admittedly, my standards are impossibly high, but I know the right role models are out there somewhere. Sucking up is commensurate with experience. The more experience, the more sucking up. Only the fabulous need apply.

The Writing on the Facebook Wall

2010-09-22T17:43:00.004-06:00

Katie Landers what I am having for dinner! :) Take a look at my friends blog! she has some amazing recipes on it!

Better Than Burgers: Lisa's Stromboli blog. betterthanburgers.net
We made this the another night for dinner. I was a little nervous, because I'm a... picky eater and I've never eaten Stromboli before, but I wasn't disapointed! It was so good! We had the nephews over for dinner and even the one year old gabbled it up. Hubs informed me we need to go through this websit...See More
17 minutes ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike · Share

Annie Payne I dunno about the "stromboli" but I bet you could convince me it was good if you served it with the pumpkin roll they also feature on the blog. Easily bribed with food, especially if I didn't make it.
10 minutes ago · LikeUnlike

Katie Landers this whole blog is amazing! I love mormon food! lol
10 minutes ago · LikeUnlike

Annie Payne I know what ya mean. Mormons self-medicate with food, therefore 9 out of 10 "Mormon" meals involve melted cheese and bacon.
8 minutes ago · LikeUnlike

Ripped from my Facebook Wall

2010-09-21T17:46:00.002-06:00

Annie Payne Secret Agent Man knows me so well, he just upgraded our satellite package. Some women want diamonds, I just want more channels.
36 minutes ago · Friends Only · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Katie Landers I love you annie! I think you are my soul mate! :)
33 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Annie Payne I have Glee, DWTS, Flipping Out, and Real Estate Intervention on the DVR tonight. Katie, what about you?
6 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Annie Payne Oops and Oprah.
6 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Karla L. King I have lived without cable or satellite for 4 years. Does this make you break out in hives? :) lol.
5 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Annie Payne I think I'd be mute if I didn't have television. I wouldn't know what to talk about.

Me: Did you see "Project Runway?"
You: No.
Me: (blink, blink)
2 minutes ago · LikeUnlike ·

Pony up for Partners

2010-09-13T10:34:00.002-06:00

(Waylon's face is not fuzzy in real life. I just have a crummy camera phone.)

This weekend I had the chance to be on our local ABC affiliate KJCT 8 for the Mesa County Partners Auction. I served as an auctioneer, although there was no

"Hey, batta, batta, saw-wing, batta."

(Wait, that's not what auctioneers do!)

No, I just presented the items up for bid, the best way I know how.

I am happy to report, I did not humiliate my mother, my station, or my faith, so it was a successful night.

My co-auctioneers were fellow radio personalities, Ed from KOOl 107.9 and Waylon from KEKB 99.9. They were total pros.

I was so happy to be a part of this great charity event "for the children." (Tear.)

Jump back into school with the Net

2010-09-02T10:42:00.003-06:00

From Fly Lady to fabulous lunches, websites to help you get a jump on the new school year.

Click here to read my latest column at GJSentinel.com.

Like sands through the hour glass

2010-08-17T11:46:00.004-06:00

2006

2010

I'm endlessly fascinated with how time just keeps marching on. I feel grateful for it. I feel grateful for change. I feel grateful to know that I don't have to be the same person today I was yesterday. I guess you can say I am into the whole "hopey-changey" thing. Let the winds of change blow and thrash and wreak a little bit of havoc. Let them knock over the trash cans and blow the lids down the street. I'll either find them again or get new lids. It's all good. Just please, oh please, don't let change come to an end. Stagnation, bad. Same-old-same-old, bad. Let the change come, blow, roll, and swirl and I will swirl and twirl and change along with it.

What do your yard ornaments say about you?

2010-08-06T22:21:00.002-06:00

Perhaps you remember at Christmas time I revealed that I have a very rare talent. Some might call it a gift. Others, the more incredulous, call it a cheap party trick, but I have yet to meet anyone who can do what I do. I am a Christmas Tree Prognosticator. It’s sort of like reading palms. I can tell a lot about a person’s life and personality by their Christmas tree.

Word of my special gift has spread far and wide. I was even asked to do an interview for a radio station in Winnipeg, where I prognosticated my little heart out for the Canadians. Now I can add, “Big in Manitoba,” to my résumé.

This gem of a talent trickles into the warmer months too. Like most people who possess a rare talent, I can’t give it up for free. A girl has to eat, ya know? But, I’m not selfish, so here’s a sample.

“What do your yard ornaments say about you?”

The Flamingo

If you have a flamingo in your yard, you are expressing to the universe, “I’d rather be somewhere tropical.” It wouldn’t be too far out of the realm of possibility to believe that you also have a collection of Hawaiian shirts.
In addition, flamingo people are patient. Like the flamingo that can stand comfortably for long periods of time on one foot, flamingo ornament owners can stand a lot, too. Flamingo people make good neighbors, because they won’t curse your name under their breath, or otherwise, when your Chihuahua with the Napoleonic complex barks at the other dogs taking their morning stroll through the neighborhood park.

The Frog

If you have a frog ornament in your yard you believe in the possibility of change. Just like the princess kisses the frog in the end of a fairytale, a frog ornament owner believes that things can change on a dime for the better. They believe that everything, even bumpy, slimy, ill-mannered amphibians that pee in your hand when you pick them up have their own beauty that deserves to be appreciated. Speaking of beauty…

The Gazing Ball

If you have a gazing ball in your yard, you are as vain as the day is long. But, just because you are vain, doesn’t mean you are all bad.
Oh no, in fact gazing ball owners believe in multiplying beauty. In fact, they may be the type of person that would help a neighbor with weeding, watering or garden tips, as long as it doesn’t interfere with their gazing.

The Garden Gnome

Garden gnome owners suffer from wanderlust. They are campers, hikers, sailors, and frequent fliers. They don’t believe in staying in one place for too long and perhaps have moved that gnome like a gypsy from garden to garden as they moved from house to house.
Garden Gnome owners also believe in magic. That gnome is more than just an ornament to them. It is a mythical creature that has a personality, a life, and a voice. They imagine their gnome taking little adventures when they’re not looking. They believe that even little things can make big things happen.

The Whisky Barrel

Whisky barrel owners reflect with fondness on a simpler past. They keep things around that remind them of that. They are recyclers and don’t like to waste anything. Whisky Barrel owners most likely have a windmill ornament in their yard, also. This prognosticator has no explanation for why the whisky barrel and the windmill go together, but they do.

If you are one of those people that have two or more of these items in your yard, there is a medication for that: It’s called Cantmakeupmymindopren.

That’s it. That’s all you get for your free sample. How did I do? Eerily close, eh? If you want a full Yard Ornament Prognostication, you’ll have to invite me to your BBQ. A girl has to eat, ya know?

Wordless Wednesday: My baby

2010-08-04T21:29:00.001-06:00

"I heard you are a famous blogger."

2010-08-01T21:22:00.004-06:00

I had a woman tell me that ^ today. Obviously the person who told her I was a famous blogger doesn't read my blog or know me that well or else they would know that I'm horribly neglectful of my blog and that it is the least interesting thing about me.

How about the fact that I have a radio show or that I'm a columnist or that I just ate my weight in homemade macaroni and cheese?!

Here is more proof that my blog is the least interesting thing about me.

Look how far I can spread my toes!

Note to self

2010-07-08T22:00:00.003-06:00

Don't go to the grocery store after watching "Losing it with Jillian." Made me feel like a crummy mother buying Cocoa Puffs for my kids.

Jillian is amazing. This week she tried to change the Yavapai Apache Nation.

Jillian raised the frybread over her head and told the people,

"This is not food, it's poison!"

And she threw the frybread in the trash.

At first the elders were very upset, but then they realized she was just trying to help.

Lady Gaga covering all her "Bases."

2010-07-03T17:21:00.001-06:00

Fun time waster

2010-06-27T18:54:00.000-06:00

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Keeping kids busy during the summer

2010-06-16T14:55:00.002-06:00

“Who cut their hair on the couch?”
“Why does the dog have one blue paw?”
“Where did all the kitchen chairs go?”
These and many more questions like these are not a good way to start summer vacation.
My experience as a mother of three children, including twins, has taught me that it’s easy to entertain a child, but not so easy to keep them busy. Allow me to explain the difference.
It’s easy to put on a movie for your toddler or allow your tween all the computer time they want to keep them occupied or from destroying the house. On the other hand, it takes more effort to give them opportunities to grow and develop into independent, well-rounded, active, self-sufficient young people.
It wasn’t without difficulty, but I taught my preschoolers to help around the house. I involved them in my daily chores: folding towels, mopping floors, preparing meals, etcetera.
I had to let go of some of the perfectionism. The towels weren’t always folded to my liking. The floors sometimes needed to be re-mopped, but I wanted them to learn that they weren’t too little to be an active part of the upkeep of our home and that it wasn’t all mommies job.
I’m now reaping the benefits of their early training. I have three children who are helpful, compliant, and carry-out household tasks with little to no whining.
Here are a few of my tips for keeping children actively engaged in things that will benefit themselves and the family:
Early to bed, early to rise, even in the summer
Allowing your children to set their own sleeping schedule in the summer, doesn’t do anything for them in the long run. If anything it will teach them to be disappointed adults. Sleeping-in isn’t a regular part of any productive adult’s life.
Even though it’s summer, our regular wake-up call has only been pushed back by a half-an-hour and a decent bedtime is still enforced. Everyone still enjoys a full eight hours and nobody sleeps the day away.
Fun first, then play? Really?
We’ve adjusted our schedule so that the kids aren’t helping around the house during the cooler hours of the day and then refusing to go out to play when it the temperature climbs, thus spending the whole day inside the house.
Instead, we eat breakfast and then play outside or exercise, which for kids is one in the same.
When it gets hotter outside, that’s when we do chores inside. As it begins to cool off later in the day, the chores are finished and everyone can do as the please. It may sound like putting the cart before the horse, but it’s worked for us.
Let them know what is expected and what they can expect
When Secret Agent Man decodes sensitive documents or protects State secrets, he gets a pay check.
I want my kids understand that if want something , just like dad, they have to earn it.
On a daily basis, my kids know it’s their job to take care of the pets, unload the dishwasher, set the table, and maintain the cleanliness of their bedrooms and bathroom. On top of that, each day I give them a list of other things to do around the house.
Just like a real job, the completion of everything that is expected is met with a payment. Sometimes it’s money or trips to the pool, or extra time to play video games or watch TV.
It would be easier to let them be free-range children over the summer and do whatever they feel like doing, after all, “they’re just kids.” But, then how will they ever learn the value of time, self-reliance, and how to be an asset, instead of a liability?
I think it’s worth the extra effort especially if it will help avoid more couch haircuts.

Best Bachelorette Recap on the net

2010-06-08T10:44:00.002-06:00

I couldn't have written it better myself. So I didn't, Amanda of "It's Blogworthy" did. Comedy gold right there my friends. Clickety here to read the Bachelorette bloggy goodness.

Blogging `bout The Bachelorette

2010-05-31T22:27:00.005-06:00

I love summer tv. A new installement of the Bachelor franchise of shows is one of the reasons. I have yet to be real excited about this season though. The other Bachelorettes seemed genuinely heart-broken after their seasons and eager for another chance at love. I have the feeling that Ali got exactly what she wanted out of her time with Jake...her own show.

Well, I think you get what you give and her bachelors all seem to be gunning for second place. Can you blame them? Three to six months of a fake engagement or your own show? Hmmm. Not that tough of a choice.

Tonight's episode featured front-runner for his own show, Frank. Frank lives with his folks, runs a retail store, probably A.E., and looks better with his glasses. Ali and Frank went from zero to ninety before the first commercial break. Ever heard of taking things slow? No time for that in make believe tv land.

Then there was confrontation between the weatherman, Jonathan, a.k.a. The Mouse and Craig, The Weasel. The mouse isn't just any mouse. He is a marginally-adorable mouse that has a cane and a hat and sometimes says clever things, sometimes. But, mostly he sounds scared to death of the Weasel.

The Weasel is evil. The kind of evil that he must practice at being that evil. Perhaps he stays awake at night planning how evil he can be or perhaps evil justs comes to him naturally.

The Weasel also looks a lot like Tori Spelling's husband, Dean. Who is also a weasel. Remember the whole cheated on his wife and two kids with Tori, while she was also married? I do, obviously. Not only do they look alike and share some weaselly tendencies, but they are also both from Canada. No disrespect to my Canadian friends. I'll say it before and I'll say it again, I've never met a Canadian I didn't like. I'm just pointing out their similar origins.

Ali dismissed her weasel after the mouse told her that he was "dangerous." But my question is,

"Who is more dangerous? The weasel that you can see coming, or the weasel that sneaks up on you?"

Apparently, Ali thought the weasel she could see coming, but I am sure their are more stealth-like weasels that will emerge as the summer weeks roll on.

¡Ay Chihuahua! Making room for new family pet

2010-05-30T22:33:00.003-06:00

As seen in the Home and Garden section of The Daily Sentinel, May29, 2010

I broke one of the cardinal rules of marriage. Don’t get a new pet while your spouse it out of town.
But this little Chihuahua-Mini Pincher literally walked right into my life.
I was at a friend’s house checking out the Taj Majal of playhouses they had just erected in their backyard, when in through the open gate walked this little doggie. She looked friendly, but nervous as most Chihuahuas do.
My friend didn’t want a thing to do with it because dogs give her the sneezes. So I scooped it up and did a quick casing of the neighborhood to see if I could find the owner.
When that effort became fruitless, I took it back to my house and called the number for animal services on its license.
The time it took to track down the owner was short, but it was enough time for the kids and I to already feel a little attached to it. Its big, helpless, dark eyes had me at “hello.”
Mini Me accompanied me on our trip back to the owner’s. Apparently, it hadn’t been on the lamb for long, the owner said it had just eaten dinner and must have squeezed through the fence. Then she told me that she was actually just caring for the dog for a friend until she could find it a good home. Then she said, “Do you want it?”
Mini Me and I chimed in unison, “Yes!”
No sooner did the reply come out of my mouth did I realize that Secret Agent Man wasn’t going to be too keen on this. But you know the old adage, “Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission.”
The doggie’s caretaker told me that “Suzi” is already house-trained, spayed, and vaccinated. She also came with food, toys, a bed, a kennel, and clothes.
The kids and I kept the new addition to our family a secret from Secret Agent Man until he came home the next night.
When we picked him up the airport with Suzi in tow, the first thing he said was, “Whose dog is this?”
The kids intoned, “It’s ours!”
“No really,” he said, “who does it belong to?”
And so the love story began. We’ve had little Suzi for over two weeks now and she has adjusted well to Secret Agent Man, the kids, and our other dog. But she still needs to make nice with the Dyson. In time I’m sure they’ll get along too.

Tips from iVillage.com on how to acclimate your new pet to its new life and home
As soon as you get it home, return your pet to its daily feeding and exercise schedule. Place their bed and bowls in similar location to their former home, while they acclimate to their new space.

When introducing your pet to new humans, place the animal in a sit/stay position and ask the human allow your dog to sniff them prior to being petted. Ask them to avoid direct eye contact and speak in a positive, pleasant voice when addressing the dog. If possible, have them reward the animal with its favorite treat.

If your pet is having a problem barking/meowing excessively, confine your pet to a crate or room. The bedroom is usually best and will be most comforting to the animal.

Take a few days off work to pay extra attention to your pet. It will adjust more quickly and feel comfortable in its new home.

Allow your pet to exercise and eliminate before you leave home. Create a soothing atmosphere. Dim the lights, put on soft music and leave out your pet's favorite toy. Never make a big deal about going out.

Call an animal behavior specialist if your pet seems to be having a problem adjusting to their new home or engages in destructive behavior.

Paynes on a roll

2010-05-30T22:24:00.003-06:00

Click the pic to biggify the pithy captions.

Picture Perfect: A master photographer's tips for displaying your captured memories

2010-05-17T10:15:00.004-06:00

As seen in May 15th's edition of the Home & Garden section of The Daily Sentinel

Picture Perfect: A Master Photographer’s tips for displaying your captured memories

My walls are too bare. At least that’s what my older sister told me. The same sentiment was echoed by my feng shui practitioner, and then confirmed by my good friend and master photographer, (That is her job title. She has a masters in photography.) Kelli McCall.

Even after living in my current home for six years, it still pains me to put any nails, screws, or hooks in the walls. It feels like I am putting a hole in my very own soul. But when three ladies, whose opinion I value, all told me the same thing, if figured they had to be right.

So I asked Kelli to give me her advice on how to get my family pictures out of the drawer and on to the walls where they belong. She took me on a field trip to her mom’s house to show me some of the photographs that she has taken over the years for her mom and how they have displayed them in interesting ways.

Here is Kelli’s advice:

Framing
When choosing the perfect frame, keep in mind that the frame molding generally should not be wider than the main subject in the picture. For example, if the subject’s head is two inches wide the frame should be no wider than two inches. This will ensure that the portrait will be what you focus on and not the frame.

Wall Placement
The portraits on your wall should hang at standing eye level. This will allow people to enjoy them without straining to see them.

If displaying more than one picture, display an odd number of pictures to create an art piece. Then group them in ways that tell a story or share a similar theme, like senior pictures or baby’s first Easter. Don’t hang dad’s fishing pictures, next to grandma’s wedding photo.

Choosing Clothing
If a wall portrait is what you have in mind, first consider where you want hang it or display it in your home. Then choose your outfit for the photo shoot according to the color scheme of that space. Remember that the people are more important than the outfit, so dress in solid colors so the focus will go to the faces instead of clothing.

Walls aren’t the only place for photographs
Coffee tables and shelves are perfect display points for smaller photographs. Make your groupings interesting by adding other decorative items like, candles, plants, and figurines, still keeping in mind the rule of odd numbers.

Matting, the frame within a frame
Matting your photographs can do a lot to enhance the look of the picture. Choose a mat color from a color in the photograph that will compliment the picture.
When you want to fill a larger space, mat your print up a size. For instance, if you have a 5x7 photograph, choose an 8X10 mat and frame.

Let them know they are loved
Did you know that displaying pictures of your children increases their self esteem? A child who sees himself in a wall portrait will undoubtedly know how much they mean to you. The most precious and unique artwork you could ever find is a portrait of those you love. Capture those moments that will tug at your heart and display them as artwork. What better décor for your home than portraits that are personal and unique.

Armed with some great advice and inspiration, my walls will be less bare and have more flare. It may mean that I have a few more holes in my "soul,” but at least they will be nicely covered by pictures of my favorite people and memories.

To find out more about master photographer, Kelli McCall, and her services check out her website keljphotography.com.

Where did May 11th go?

2010-05-11T16:33:00.003-06:00

It's not over yet, but it's nearly over.
I can't remember what I've done.
It started early, that much I remember.
I made two breakfasts. Pancakes for Secret Agent Man and the kids.
Eggs and bacon for me.
I've changed my status on Facebook a couple times.
Washed and coiffed my hair.
Couldn't decide what to wear because Spring is having an identity crisis.
Took Secret Agent Man to the airport. Where he goes? Nobody knows.
Had something with bacon in it for lunch, the new Taco Bell Tortada.
"That stuff is not food!" Can it, Jillian! I don't want to hear it.
I wore a hoodie.
If you left a black hoodie at my house. I have worn it to paint trim on my friend's house
and now I've worn it to tie-dye shirts with 5th graders.
I don't think you are going to want it back.
Things I am looking forward to for the rest of the day:
Pajamas and
American Idol.

Click here to read a blog post that actually took some thought and effort.

A special Mother's Day edition: "Diva, Whooz ur Mama?!"

2010-05-09T21:00:00.001-06:00

One table, One Family: Passionate about Family Dinners

2010-05-04T10:24:00.004-06:00

Click here to read my latest column at Gjsentinel.com

"...even on the occasional night when we have pizza delivered, I still lure my family from the four corners of the house to share a meal at the kitchen table."

To whom it may concern

2010-05-03T22:43:00.002-06:00

I received a very nice e-mail the other day from a woman in Montrose. She wrote to compliment me on my column and to encourage me to continue on. I just had three years of e-mail mysteriously disappear from my inbox, so I didn't get a chance to write back and say "thank you." So, dear reader, lovely lady from Montrose, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I don't get a lot of feedback, so when it comes, it is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood columnist

American "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Tim Urban

2010-04-14T11:14:00.002-06:00

Adam Lambert, a slice of the Richard Marx pie?

2010-04-13T19:41:00.005-06:00

Upcoming American Idol Theme Night: Idols sing with the Muppets

2010-04-07T21:41:00.006-06:00

You can't tell me that you wouldn't tune in to watch that.

And as an extra special treat...Beaker will cohost with Ryan!

Television Gold right there, my friends.

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 9 Siobhan Magnus

2010-04-06T18:43:00.005-06:00

El Macheen es en fuego!

The resemblance is undeniable to say the very least. The hair, the accessories, the ability to unhook their bottom jaw to hit the money note. Not only that, but if you scramble the letters in "Sanjaya" and "Sheena Easton" it spells "Siobhan Magnus!" Incredible.

I never get tired of being right.

2010-03-27T21:07:00.004-06:00

I awoke this morning with the urge to take my family on a hike; back to one of our favorite trails that has gone neglected during the cold winter months. It was not easy convincing my kids to leave the comfort of their pajamas, overflowing bowls of cereal, and tight schedule of cartoons and video games, for a morning of fresh air and physical exertion. I explained to them that we needed to go now, while the snow is melting. There would be a stream of run-off flowing right down the middle of our trail and they would love to see it. Unmoved by my glowing endorsement, I finally said,

"Listen, I do a lot of stuff for you that I don't want to do, so you are going to do this for me even though you don't want to. That's how we show our love for each other," delivered with "crazy mom" eyes and flared nostrils, it could not be challenged nor denied.

Mere minutes later as we are reaching the top of the hike, the boys could hear the water running. They were so excited they started running. "Mom, Mom can you hear that?! It's the water, Mom." Yes, babies, I know.

As you can see from the pics, a good time was had by all. I never get tired of being right.

American Idol's, "Battle of the Borrowed Jackets."

2010-03-26T16:51:00.004-06:00

And the winner is... Brian Fellow's

"That hippo is crazy."

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 9 Andrew Garcia

2010-03-25T15:24:00.002-06:00

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"

2010-03-19T14:40:00.004-06:00

...but we earned them anyway. My boys were awarded their Webelo badges last night. Their Arrow of Light is just some First Aid and a couple of camp-outs away. I'm a proud den mother.

Before my boys were born, I didn't think about what it would be like to be a mother to boys. But after three years of cub scouting, managing a soccer team, coaching a basketball team, and more conversations about Pokem*n, Digim*n, and Bakug*n than I would care to have...I can tell you that being a mother to boys is wonderful. I cry on my keyboard thinking about how proud I am of them. As they inch closer and closer to being taller than me, I grow in respect and awe of the kind of young men they are becoming.

A brownie badge for anyone who can tell me where the title quote comes from.

Feelin' Lucky

2010-03-17T11:27:00.002-06:00

I'm feeling lucky that the Catholics don't mind sharing their holidays with the rest of the world. They're givers.

I'm feeling lucky that my pink and green argyle sweater still fits and is even a little big.

I'm feeling lucky that I am wearing flipflops for the first time this year and my toenails have a little bit of sparkle.

I'm feeling lucky that I have a sweet neighbor that sends me flowers.

I'm feeling lucky that I have a wonderful friend that sends me funny cards. You know who you are and I love ya lots.

I'm feeling lucky that Secret Agent Man turned his nose up at my green eggs and ham and I didn't hafta share.

An open letter to Cold Stone Creamery

2010-03-15T14:24:00.004-06:00

UPDATE: I just received confirmation from my Stat Counting services that Cold Stone Creamery in Scotsdale, AZ has read my open letter. If you start seeing more tables and chairs, you have me to thank. I'll accept gift certificates.

Dear Cold Stone,

Get more seating.

For Realsies,

Annie

Put on these stinky shoes and put your fingers in these holes where other peoples fingers have been.

2010-03-13T10:48:00.001-07:00

I can't stand bowling, but I love my kids. So, when Mini Me asked if we could go bowling for her birthday, I put on my big girl pants and went. It may look like I am having a good time in the pictures, but I'm not. I'm just good a faking it.

After bowling we went to Coldstone Creamery. My complaint about this place is that they don't have enough seating for you to sit down and enjoy the ice cream you patiently waited in line for and then spent what you would pay for 3 Blizzards to get. I was more than halfway finished when I we finally got to sit down so close to the table next to us that I could smell the malodorousness of the patron next to me. Ahhh..nothing like the combo of sweat and strawberries and an exciting game of booowling.

Celebrating 4 years and 2 days of blogging without obligation

2010-03-04T13:37:00.004-07:00

My four year blogiversary came and went without me noticing. Darn you, Facebook!

I just went back and read some of my posts from the Hot Fruita Mom days. For those of you who have been a follower since then, I am sorry to have wasted your time.

Two blogger parties, a handful of meet-and-greets, and a Home and Garden column later, my blogging habits have changed. I post less, I comment less. Again, darn you Facebook!

I don't know how much longer blogging will be a part of my life. I have trails to hike and laundry to fold and parties to plan. Sometimes I feel like sharing my exploits and sometimes I don't.

If I make it to year five, we will just have to see.

Stupid wives and the husbands that deceive them

2010-02-25T09:50:00.002-07:00

My B.S. Meter overheated when I saw this sorry couple on Oprah. I think they are both liars that were seduced by money and power and when it all got flushed down the proverbial crapper, they decided to cash-in by writing a tell-all. They are not guiltless, they are not victims. They are vipers, plain and simple. And they gross me out. Don't buy their book.

Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Season 9 Haeley Vaughn

2010-02-24T18:05:00.007-07:00

I certainly hope Haeley doesn't go home tonight. But just in case, I thought I'd run her through The Macheen. It looks like The Macheen was kind. What an awesome honor to have the possible parentage of Miss Niecy "Clean House" Nash and the cre-a-tor of the most popular tag line of the 1970s.

Who does what in your house?

2010-02-22T08:25:00.002-07:00

His, Hers, and Ours

Who does what in your house?

Thirteen years ago tomorrow, on a beautiful warm day in San Diego, Secret Agent Man and I, joined our lives together as husband and wife.

Every day since, we have marched lock-step together on our journey through life, work, home, and family.

Before we were married we talked about the kind of life we wanted together. He knew my life’s ambition was to be a wife and mother. I wanted to take full responsibility for the proper care and feeding of him and our children and the upkeep our home. That was our understanding and that was our plan. Then…the twins were born.

What I assumed would be a one woman show turned into a tag team effort to keep our baby boys fed, diapered, burped, and bathed.

By the time our daughter, “Mini Me” came along, Secret Agent Man and I settled into our traditional roles of provider and homemaker. He brought home the bacon and I fried it up in a pan.

Being a single-income family is not easy. We’ve had to make sacrifices and endure lean times in order for me to be at home.

Between the travel, intrigue, and third world dictator toppling, Secret Agent Man works long hours. I never complain. I consider it a blessing to have a husband that loves to work. I like going out to dinner, I like buying a new pair a shoes, and I’m not going to complain about how he provides those things for me.

I try to make it easy for him to do his job by doing mine. I’ve taken cues from my hero, Jaqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis,

"I think the best thing I can do is to be a distraction. A husband lives and breathes his work all day long. If he comes home to more table thumping, how can the poor man ever relax?"

We have a clear understanding of what each of us will do around the house. He doesn’t know how to start the washing machine and I don’t know how to start the lawnmower and that’s the way we like it.

No matter what your situation is everyone who lives in the house needs to have responsibilities for its upkeep.

In a family where both the mom and dad are winning the bread, there needs to be equity in the household responsibilities.

Some of the working moms I know will do the cooking and shopping, while dad and kids do the cleaning and laundry.

Kid’s responsibilities could include: feeding the pets, cleaning their own rooms and bathrooms, and helping with the dishes.

At our house, everyone pitches in and cleans the kitchen after dinner. It’s a wonderful change from the time when I would make dinner; the family would take 15 minutes to snarf it down and then disperse to their different corners of the house. Now we are together more, the kitchen is cleaned quickly and the family has learned to appreciate me more.

Even the tiniest member of the family can help out. If a baby is old enough to dump out their toys, they are old enough to pick them up and put them back. It would be easier for mom to just pick up the toys herself, but teaching your children life-long habits of tidiness is worth the time and effort and they’ll be better husbands and wives for it.

If you are having trouble getting everyone to help out around the house, sometimes it’s just a matter asking for more help and making your expectations known. Chore charts, honey-do lists, and scheduled time for cleaning can help get everyone on the same page. Don’t forget to celebrate and relax together for a job well done.

Perhaps skip Hamburger Helper Night and go out to dinner, if you see us, don’t forget to wish us a Happy Anniversary.

Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Season 9 Lilly Scott

2010-02-18T18:42:00.005-07:00

The Macheen is back in action for Season 9 of American Idol. This is the macheen that analyzes the contestants DNA to reveal their possible parentage. If you don't agree, don't be mad at me, The Macheen never lies. It has no reason to. Being analyzed by The Macheen is a great honor and part of the American Idol experience.

I think The Macheen was fair to Lilly Scott, fellow Coloradoan. There are worse things than having a super model and an albino as parents. She could be strapped to another macheen down in the Pit of Despair.

Division of household duties

2010-02-17T11:37:00.003-07:00

I hope this doesn't look familiar to anyone.

I am writing about the division of responsibilites in the household for my next column.

Secret Agent Man and I are traditional when it comes to the division of household chores. He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan. HOw do you divvy up the responsibilites in your house?

Manifesting Spring

2010-02-15T11:21:00.013-07:00

If I can imagine it, perhaps I'll let myself live.

Day after day of overcast, snow-covered dreariness has taken its toll on my upbeatedness.

I'm really tired of people telling me I look tired.

"Really? I thought I was looking cute today. Thanks for letting me know."

I'm going to manifest Spring into existence. I am going to imagine what it will look like. What I will do, what I will wear, and all the happy things of Spring and maybe, just maybe, I can stave off these winter gloomies long enough to see the day when a little color comes back into this drab, drab world.

I'm going to wear these whilest I ride my pink bike.

I'm gonna quit you...again.

I'm going to travel. Yes, those are my skinny legs and fabulous shoes.

I'm going to go back to my favorite hiking trail with these kids.

I'm going to convince this person to come visit me.

I'm going to poof flowers and not apologize for it.

A harmonious home is just one ancient Chinese secret away

2010-02-08T14:14:00.005-07:00

Click here to read my latest article for The Daily Sentinel about my visit with Environment Specialist, Tammy Long, who uses her knowledge of Feng Shui to help people get more out of their home.

Mention this article and receive 25% off your initial 2-hour evaluation which includes a personal traits analysis for 2 plus a 2 hour on-sight evaluation of your home or business.

To contact Tammy, visit her website at http://www.asuitespace.com/

Because every chicken deserves to be happy

2010-02-04T12:06:00.005-07:00

"Funky Chicken says what?!"

I bought cage-free eggs for the first time this week. I was influenced by the mega-marketing macheen which is Mother Oprah. She showed clips from a documentary Food Inc. which I had been interested in but hadn't Red Boxed it yet.

I felt sorry for the wee little chickens, in the dark, crowded together just to make me the most delicious breakfast known to womankind, that is the Sausage McMuffin with Egg. I don't' know if Mickey D's is on board with the whole cage-free thing, that won't stop me from ordering the S.M.E. but at least I can do my part at home.

I believe that everything on this Earth has a purpose and somethings purpose is just to get eaten. But, I don't want to make its sojourn here on Earth any longer or more painful just so I can buy eggs cheaper. If someone knows of a way to make my time on Earth a little better, I'd appreciate it if they would pay it forward, too. Nuf said.

Fan or copycat. You decide. "Things I am Too Old For"

2010-01-25T16:24:00.004-07:00

Because I've never had an original thought, I blatantly stole the idea AND some of the answers for this post from my friend Tiburon (Yes, that is her real name and it means "shark" in Spanish. No her parents weren't hippies, although they did live in San Fran, and yes they do love her.) and she apparently stole the idea from someone else. But, as they say imitation is a form of flattery and I copy because I love. Without further adieu...

Things I am Too Old For

Sleeping on the floor

Wearing a swimsuit without shorts or a skirt

Passing for a 20-something

Blue eyeliner

Sleeping past 9 am

Staying up past midnight

Saying "dude" or "sucks"

Not washing my face before bed

Borrowing money from my folks

Wearing a backpack unless I'm hiking

Eating cereal more than once a day

Going braless

Going clubbing

Eating pizza more than once a day

Borrowing clothes from a friend, a sister is okay

Wear anything with writing on the butt

Not wearing sunblock

Playlands

Eating Taco Bell more than once a day

Hanging posters in my room

Keeping up with the Joneses (I am the Joneses)

Baby weight, now it's just plain old weight

Biting my nails

Not to floss

Glitter

Miniskirts

Macaroni and Cheese

Ramen

Soda with sugar

Orange soda

MTV

My Golden Globe Tweets. Consider yourself warned.

2010-01-18T19:04:00.003-07:00

#goldenglobes are over. Just in time tynleol pmmmmm m kicken n. about 22 hours ago
James Cameron says "Give it up for yourselves." Yay me!!! #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
Linda Hamilton must be eating her heart out right now. If she would have held on to James Cameron a few yrs longer couldve had more $$. about 22 hours ago
Didnt they used to break up the monotony of the awards with performances of the nominees for best song? I miss that. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
I think took ceramics from Jeff Bridges down at the rec center. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
I feel warm and fuzzy inside and cant hold my head up. about 22 hours ago
Its Lady Gaga without the get-up! #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
When Sandy wins its like we all win. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
Colored feathers. I broke NBC. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago

jdoiefiei;foeje;gjeiaj vv zzzzzzzzzzzzzz about 23 hours ago
Did he say butt nick? about 23 hours ago
Took a couple tylenol pmmm dont no how muchh longerrr i can tweeee... about 23 hours ago from web
Delete
Just hand over the statue to Sue Sylvester. She makes Glee. #goldenglobes
The Area 51 scientist that was strangled by an alien on Independence Day was ressurected and made Avatar. #goldenglobes
Woohoo! The nineties finally coughed up one of its best actresses, Jodi Foster! Good to see you again, Girl! #goldenglobes
I still see Leo as Gilbert Grape. Match in the gas tank. Boom-boom! #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Best Fake Laugh goes to Brenden Fraiser. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Best cleavage of the night goes to Halle Berryl. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Sue from Glee got the shaft. Watch out sister wife, youre about to board the Sue Slyvester Express...destination...HORROR. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Worst cleavage of the night goes to Anna Pacquin. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
When I think of sexy secret agents. I think of my own Secret Agent Man. #goldenglobes

Alec Baldwin is at a charity event for the Human Fund. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago

Alert Peta! Drew Barrymore flash froze a couple hedgehogs and pinned them to her dress! #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago from web
Delete
Kevin Bacon should win just for being named after the tastiest food ever. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago
Helen Miren is one gorgeous geriatric. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago
Raise your hand if you saw Grey Gardens. (cricket cricket) Thought so. #goldenglobes 6:58 PM Jan 17th
Proof that American is getting dumber, Oscar Meyer no longer spells out its name in commercials. #goldenglobecommercials #goldenglobes 6:53 PM Jan 17th
Cher broke off a piece of herself, dipped it in hydrogen peroxide and created Christiana Aguilara. #goldenglobes 6:46 PM Jan 17th
There is no way Jane Krackowski can breath out of her nose.Janey Krack can & I dont care.Janey Krack can & I don't care... #goldenglobes 6:37 PM Jan 17th
Michael C. Hall and his lucky do-rag! #goldenglobes 6:35 PM Jan 17th
Felicity has never looked better. She has such a big heart too, she brought a homeless guy as her date. #goldenglobes 6:31 PM Jan 17th
Kate Hudson tried to hide her Haiti ribbon in the folds of her origami dress, but I see u, I see u Kate H. supporting Haiti. #goldenglobes 6:29 PM Jan 17th
Id be more impressed with those ribbons if the stars paid 50 thou a pop to wear them. #goldenglobes Haiti 6:25 PM Jan 17th
I hope John Lythgoe doesnt keep Kevin Bacon from dancing tonight. #goldenglobes 6:23 PM Jan 17th
John Lythgoes was creepier as the preacher that would let the town dance. #goldenglobes 6:20 PM Jan 17th
Miss Golden Globe is a knockout. Halle Berry who? #goldenglobes 6:17 PM Jan 17th
Member whens Toni Colette was fluffy? Dang she looks so good now. #goldenglobes 6:14 PM Jan 17th
Preach it Mo-mo! God is good. #goldenglobes 6:09 PM Jan 17th
Chinese babies are so 2009, I'm all about adopting Haitian babies.

The Five Virtues to a Healthy and Harmonious Bathroom

2010-01-09T10:35:00.002-07:00

Click here to read my latest column on Confucius-style virtues to a better bathroom.

Journal entry of an aging housewife

2010-01-07T08:29:00.005-07:00

Dear Diary,
Who am I kidding? I never kept a diary. I kept a journal (Is there a difference?). A faithful one at that, from the age of thirteen until I was married. I quit there. My quest for love ended, so I guess I felt there wasn't anything else worth reporting.
My journal is embarrassing to read, now. Just page after page of one toad after another. (Don't get all offended my former-toad stalkers, I wasn't anyone worth having until Secret Agent Man came along, either. I'm sure you all became the perfect mate for your spouses,too. Well, not all of you. I can think of a couple of you that are most likely still toads. You know who you are.)
Then, the kids came and I discovered scrapbooking as a way to keep the family history and keep my sanity. But, all the paper and scissors and mess that comes with scrapbooking took over my kitchen table and I opted to feed my family instead of document them.
Then along came the Internets. Oh Lawd, thank you and thank Father Al. I love my blog, Facebook and Twitter (Hugs and kisses all ya'alls!).
Today, is my birthday. I have a life that celebrities wish for. A faithful and adoring husband, cute kids, including twins, (They all want twins. JLo, I had them first.) great friends and a little writing career that helps me keep my perspective on life; especially the things in life that seem never-ending like: dirty dishes, laundry, dog hair, pimples and wrinkles on the same face, devotion to good causes, loyalty to friends and above all... love of God and Family.
Happy Birthday to Me.

What a way to start a New Year!

2010-01-02T15:32:00.004-07:00

It's our family tradition to go sledding on Jan. 1. My sister has a "private and exclusive" sledding hill behind her neighborhood. Conditions couldn't have been more excellent for a fun snow day.

Clickety here to see the video of our sledding party!

Pull it down, pack it up, and put it away: 10 tips for De-decorating after Christmas

2009-12-29T08:46:00.002-07:00

My latest column as published in The Daily Sentinel the day after Christmas.

Pull it down, pack it up, and put it away. 10 tips for de-decorating your house after Christmas

The bad news is Christmas is over. The good news is that the decorations will come down faster than they went up. Here are some tips on how to pull it down, pack it up, and put it away:

1. The day after Christmas is not too soon to start de-decorating, especially if you have a real tree, time may be of the essence. Valentine’s Day is too late. New Year’s Day, is just about right for people who want to start the New Year off fresh.

2. Upgrade all your storage containers. If you are still using the same cardboard box, year after year, it’s time to start storing in plastic bins. Consider purchasing them in red and green to easily distinguish them from your other storage bins. You’ll know exactly which ones to pull down next year.

3. If possible, return your ornaments, lights, villages, and nativity sets to their original packaging. The Styrofoam and plastic trays will protect them from damage.

4. If you have lost the original packaging for your lights. Take the time to neatly wind them back up and secure them in a rubber band, masking tape, or a twist tie. If you have lost the original packaging for your ornaments, consider purchasing an ornament organizer. They are plastic boxes with individual slots. It’s well worth the investment if you plan on using your ornaments year after year. If new storage options are not in your after-Christmas budget, shoe boxes and crumpled newspapers will do just fine to cradle your shiny wares until next year.

5. Don’t let the little odds and ends linger loosely on the bottom of your bins. Keep all the extra ornament hooks, replacement light bulbs, and adhesive backed -wall mounted hooks in a clear plastic baggie. You won’t want to scrounge around for them later.

6. Tired of your old decorations? Ready to switch your traditional red and green ornaments for purple and silver next year? Cull any decorations you don’t think you will use again. Consider doing an ornament swap with friends and family. Toss what is damaged. Donate the rest.

7. Think about how you want to group your decorations for storage. Is it more convenient to store them by room i.e., “Entryway décor,” or by like items, “Garland and Greenery?” There is no right or wrong way. It’s whatever makes the most sense to you.

8. Has your Christmas tree box taken a beating? Is it getting harder and harder to re-tape the thing year after year? Buy stretch wrap. It’s like a giant roll of plastic wrap. Stretch wrap reinforces the box and protects your tree from damage. No more taping and re-taping because the stretch wrap adheres to itself. One roll will last years. It can be purchased locally at Grainger for between fifteen to 20 dollars per roll depending on width and thickness. Stretch wrap can also be found at other shipping supply stores.

9. When you are doing your after-Christmas returning /shopping, you will find some great deals on marked-down decorations, be sure you have enough storage for the incoming items.

10. Label each box and store with the label facing out. If you are an over-achiever, an itemized list of what is inside may save you time later.

The good news is that after following these tips, your decorations are organized and safely stored until next year. Put up your feet and enjoy some hot chocolate. The bad news is Christmas is still 364 days away.

Merry Christmas from Anniethology

2009-12-25T18:40:00.003-07:00

From the snow of Mt. Baldy to the sand of Newport Beach. Merry Christmas to my faithful readers. Wish you were here!!

Tiger Woods, you gone and done a bad, bad thing

2009-12-21T23:24:00.003-07:00

I'm not going to say that I am surprised. Fidelity isn't a common attribute among professional athletes, but I would say that I am disappointed. Most men, like him, you see coming from a mile away, but Tiger, you wouldn't expect it of him and that makes him even more dangerous. But this is what happens, my ladies, when a man gets too successful and too rich. He starts to think the rules don't apply to him. That's why I like my men po' and humble. Secret Agent Man is too busy to bother with another woman and he couldn't afford another woman anyway, I make sure of that. If he has a twenty in his wallet, I'll take it. Don't want him getting the idea that he can take someone else out to Taco Bell for lunch. Keep him broke, keep him humble, keep him home. Broke, humble, home. Nuf said.
And, I don't believe for one minute that she had no idea what was going on. I think it only became a problem for her when the rest of the world knew about it. I'm not judging. If I was married to a billionaire, I could turn a blind eye, too. Don't judge me. Don't feel sorry for these celebs and rich folk, they don't marry for love anyway. You know they don't. It's all about (ahem) the class and power that money can buy. It's the kids, the kids I feel sorry for. They have a sorry excuse for a father and that is sad. A big bag of money will keep mommy warm at night,but money can't replace what those kids are going to miss out on.

What does your Christmas tree say about you?

2009-12-12T21:03:00.006-07:00

I have a rare talent. Some might call it a gift. Others, the more incredulous, call it a cheap party trick, but I have yet to meet anyone who can do what I do. I am a Christmas Tree Prognosticator. It’s sort of like reading palms. I can tell a lot about a person’s life and personality by their Christmas tree. Here’s a free sample:
Artificial or real
There are two types of people: Real Christmas tree people and artificial tree people. One is not better than the other, just different.
If you are a person who likes real trees you probably like the outdoors. You enjoy creating an ambience that invokes smell as well as sight. Real tree people feel that the experience of searching it out, chopping it down and dragging it back to the old homestead is all part of the fun.
If you like artificial trees, you like an investment that lasts. You want something pretty, but don’t want to make a lot of fuss. Artificial tree owners can also be perfectionists. They don’t like to deal with gaps in the branches or dropping needles of a real tree.
White lights or multi-colored lights
If you have white lights on your tree, you think of each light as a tiny star. White light people like simplicity. White lights convey the serenity of an “Oh, Holy Night.”
Conversely, multi-colored lights say, “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.” People who like multi-colored lights are party people. They like the festive feeling of multi-colored lights because it reminds them of a disco or Las Vegas. To them, the holidays are one big party and everyone is invited. And it wouldn’t be too far out of the realm of possibility that when the holiday party rolls around, they might even don a strand of multi-colored lights like it was gay apparel!
Matching or eclectic ornaments
If you have a tree with an eclectic assortment of ornaments, each one having a special meaning or story, you value your past and family history. Perhaps it’s the clothespin reindeer your first-born made in kindergarten or the delicate snowflake that Grandma crocheted. Each one is different, each one is special, they may not match, but it doesn’t matter to you.
The decoration of an eclectic tree is often a group effort. Some will hang the ornaments; others will string popcorn and cranberries together. Even the littlest elves in the house will take part in decorating the eclectic tree.
A matchy-matchy ornament tree is usually a one-woman (or man)-show; a person with a vision of what a perfectly coifed tree should look like. Matchy-matchy ornament people like order and consistency. They usually have a theme for their Christmas tree. Like Victorian, Old World, or country. For the matchy-matchy ornament people, the tree is the crowning glory, the pièce de résistance, of all the Christmas decorations.
Angel or star
Angel people believe in a higher power guiding their lives and directing their path. Angel people might have, at some point, imagined what it would have been like to be in that choir, as told of old, that sang to shepherds guarding their flocks by night that a babe was born in Bethlehem.
Star people are the hopefuls, the ones that hope for a better, brighter tomorrow. They are sign seekers. They lead their lives by, the sometimes imperceptible, directional arrows. Star people will follow that little nudge inside of them that says, “Take cookies to your neighbor (peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses on top),” or “slip a twenty into the bell ringer’s red bucket.”
That’s it. That’s all you get for your free sample. How did I do? Eerily close, eh? If you want a full Christmas Tree Prognostication, you’ll have to invite me to your holiday party. Don’t worry, I work cheap. You can pay me in cookies (peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses on top).

My Christmas Decorations

2009-12-06T23:59:00.004-07:00

Peacock Pete, the mascot of our Christmas tree, with his vanity mirror. He's so vain, I bet he thinks this blog is about him.

Click on the pic to see it big time! Picture collage created in Picasa.

The reflection of the dining room chandelier in my heart mirror ornament.

I use mirrors at the base of the trees to reflect prettiness. I didn't use all the ornaments I'd used in previous years, so I put them in pretty stuff that holds other pretty stuff.

Peacock feather sticking out of the top of the tree.

Less than $5.00 chandelier decor. One strand of garland. Two strands of beads. 6 tassels and 10 or so poinsettias.

From the outside looking in. Garland and big jingle bells in the window boxes with fake frost on the windows.

You can buy "Peace" at Walgreens!

Dear Santa, I've been a really good girl this year. Please bring me a decent camera for Christmas so I can quit using my crummy camera phone. Thank you.

Spruce up your home with two basic colors: black and white

2009-12-03T18:12:00.003-07:00

I love classic game shows.One of my favorites is “Password.” It’s played with two contestants giving and receiving word clues.Let’s try it!

Me: Dice.
You: Vegas?
Me: Piano keys.
You: Liberace?
Me: Zebras.
You: The zoo?
Me: Pandas.
You: China?
Me: Black and white.
You: What paint colors to use to inexpensively spruce up your house for the holidays?
Me: Correct!

THE PRICE IS RIGHT
This being our second holiday season in a recession, perhaps you, like me, want to spruce up the house for guests but don’t have a lot of extra money. Paint can make a big impact with little out-of-pocket expense.
If you look away from your monitor, for just a second, and have a look around your house, I bet you will see something that could use a fresh coat of clean, white paint or something else that could use a modern lease on life with black paint.
And you probably already have cans of white and black paint in your garage.
If you need to restock, I recommend buying just a quart of each with some sponge-tipped brushes. That will get you on your way.

BEAT THE CLOCK
There never seems to be enough time during the holidays to get everything done. So don’t try to paint a whole room ... besides, white is too stark and black is too Goth. Instead, use little touches of each to freshen or sophisticate.
Use white to repaint doors, door frames and moldings. They are most likely white to begin with. Clean them off first, and then give them a fresh coat of paint.
Use black on a worn-out pieces of wood furniture or picture frames.
I gave some dated gold frames a modern look by painting them black. It took less money and time than driving to a store to buy new frames.
I also used black paint on a $5 table I picked up from the Fruita Thrift Shop. It had great “bones” but needed some love. It took me less than a half-an-hour to change that table’s look from trash pile to Pottery Barn.
A can of black, outdoor spray paint also added a few more seasons on to my old patio furniture.

DO YOU TRUST YOUR WIFE?
My husband, “Secret Agent Man,” and I never agree on colors.
To avoid a fight, and to his chagrin, I paint the walls in our house when he is out of town. But he doesn’t flinch when I bring out black or white paint. He knows it will just be a touch-up and not a whole style change.
With black and white you don’t have to worry about matching or color coordinating.
Whatever the season, whatever the trend, black and white are mainstays of design.

QUEEN FOR A DAY
Not me. My daughter, “Mini Me” is the “queen.”
I woke up one Saturday morning with the idea of painting her dingy off-white dressers a clean, bright white.
Mini Me helped by taking the handles off the drawers, which we later spray-painted silver (another cheap fix). I loved the change in the dressers so much that we painted her bed headboard white to match ... and then her bookshelf ... and then her toy box. By nightfall, her room was transformed by one can of leftover white paint.

WHEEL OF FORTUNE
If the bonus round has eluded you these past few months, make your own good fortune by making due with what you have.
Just take a look through what you’ve been storing in your garage, shed or work bench, perhaps all you’ll need will be there in black and white.

11 years later, I'm glad I didn't make a run for it.

2009-11-25T11:32:00.006-07:00

When I called my parents with the news, they didn’t believe it. The chances were just too astronomical. Being known as a kidder didn’t help much, either. When they heard the crack in my voice, they knew it was true.

“Mom, I’m not kidding. I really am pregnant with twins.”

Their incredulousness was due to the fact that my brother and his wife had just delivered their own twin boys the month before.

I was only eight weeks along when I went in for an ultrasound due to a little spotting. I told Secret Agent Man that it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t need to take time off for the appointment. By then, I felt fine and the possibility of twins never even crossed my mind.

A couple minutes into the procedure the ultrasound tech said,

“Well, there’s one of the babies.”

They looked like two little pieces of rice in a sea of darkness in the small black and white print- out the doctor’s office gave me. A few weeks later we found out we were also having boys.

The rest of my pregnancy went off without a hitch. I was lucky enough to carry my twins full term. I was huge! People would ask me if I was twelve months pregnant. So sensitive.

I remember when I was driving through a drugstore parking lot, there were some guys hanging out in front of the store. They whistled and cat-called to me as I drove by with my window down. They watched me as I pulled into my parking spot and waddled out of the car. When they saw the behemoth of a pregnant lady, they sulked away, embarrassed. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. Pregnant ladies are prone to incontinence.

We planned a scheduled c-section the day before Thanksgiving. My parents traveled from Colorado to California for the birth.

The day before I checked into the hospital, I decided I needed a new pair of slippers. I remember standing in the mouse maze of a checkout line at Burlington Coat Factory. (They sell more than just coats.) My parents left the store to pull the car around for me. After standing in line for ten minutes, I finally made it up to the cashier. She told me I couldn’t pay with a credit card at that register and I would have to get back in line. I wanted to yell,

“Hey, can’t you tell I’m twelve months pregnant? Give me a break!”

Instead, I just left the slippers at the counter and walked out. My parents were so upset to see their little/big pregnant girl, empty-handed and on the verge of tears, they took me to JcPenney and bought me a new nightgown, robe and slippers. Take that Burlington Coat Factory!

The morning of my c-section I showered, put on make-up, curled my hair, and put on my nicest maternity dress. When we got to the hospital, the nurses met me at the door with a wheelchair. I refused. I told them that I had carried my babies this far, I would walk into Labor and Delivery on my own steam.

An hour later, I wasn’t full of so much gumption. The operating room was cold and I had nothing on but a surgical gown. They hadn’t let Secret Agent Man in yet and when I saw that long needle they wanted to stick in my back, I went into panic mode. I quickly concocted a plan. I could use one hand to support my burgeoning belly and the other hand to hold back of my gown closed. I thought if I could make it out the hospital doors, I could deliver my babies in the bushes. I don’t know why I thought that would be a better option. It was about that time when my husband came in the room. I knew I couldn’t get passed him, so I resigned myself to that fact that this was going to happen with or without my cooperation.

The operation was quick. The first sight of my babies turned my panic into elation. I was the mother of two healthy twin boys, tipping the scales at 7 lbs and 8.3 lbs.

The weeks and months to follow were a sleepless blur of feedings and changings. I’m glad we took a lot of pictures, because I don’t remember much of that first year.

Today, my twins are 11-years-old. Every year I am amazed that I have kept them alive for this long. I am very proud of them and happy that they have each other.

Happy Birthday, Boys! Mama loves you.

It's things like this that make me love being a woman

2009-11-20T15:34:00.003-07:00

I bought some friends for my new baby. I love my new purse so much, I couldn't let it live all on its lonely so I got some maryjanes from Kmart, yes Kmart, and some Crushed Crimson nail polish from Revlon. They get along great.

Easy one hour home improvement project

2009-11-12T16:47:00.004-07:00

I had an hour before my kids came home from school, so this is what I did!

I bought mirror framing kit from Lowes and framed out my builder-standard mirror. It was so easy and would have taken less than an hour, but I had to wait for the paint to dry. They didn't have it in black so I bought dark brown and spray painted it. I tried it out on our little bathroom first to make sure I liked it and I do, so now I'll do it in my bathroom on my big mirror. The price for two kits and one bottle of mirror glue was $20.

Mini Me's Room Re-Do

2009-11-09T19:05:00.014-07:00

I didn't intend on spending my whole Saturday in my daughter's room. It just turned out that way. I started with the idea of painting the dressers. Then I realized the handles would need to be painted, too. Then I wanted the bed and the shelf to match the dressers. But, I couldn't very well put these freshly painted pieces of furniture back up against the yellow walls that had taken some use and abuse, they needed to be touched up, too! After that I decided to replace the closet doors with curtains. Everything was looking so good, I couldn't ignore the blue marker on the toy box (Breathe, Annie, breath girl!)...two trips to the hardware store and a bottle of Diet Coke later, Mini Me had a spruced up room! And I had caffeine jitters.

The real "Real Housewives of Atlanta"

2009-11-02T08:04:00.009-07:00

As seen in Saturday's Home and Garden section of The Daily Sentinel and at gjsentinel.com.

(Top left: Lazette, Lisa. Bottom Left: Carmine, Annie, and Kate)

One of the most popular shows on cable television is “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”
It is a reality TV show that follows the lives of five housewives from the Peach State. But they aren’t your garden variety carpooling, laundry-folding, bake sale moms.
No, they are loud, brash and rich.

On a recent trip to Atlanta to visit my sister, I wanted to meet some real “real housewives of Atlanta” and see how they compared to the gals I’ve seen on TV.

I asked my sister to find me some of the most fabulous Southern ladies she knows. We set a date to meet them at one of their homes.

Each lady was as beautiful and charming as a Georgia peach and immediately showed me why the South is synonymous with hospitality.

The morning we met, I was greeted by each one with a warm hug. My sister and I were escorted into the kitchen, where the housewives were cooking bacon in a cast iron skillet and the Southern favorite: grits. (I was told grits stands for “girls raised in the South.”)

When I asked if I could take a picture, our hostess Lisa said, “Wait! Let me get out the Williams-Sonoma.”

MEET THE HOUSEWIVES

• Lisa, Georgia native and “life of the party” is a former cheerleading captain, wife of seven years of an attorney and spunky mommy to a 4-year-old boy.
When she is not taking care of home and family, she is a hair and makeup stylist for weddings and photo shoots.

• Kate, “the adviser,” is her friends’ go-to gal. Kate has a master’s degree in educational psychology and is a former high school guidance counselor. Now, she stays at home with her three girls.
When she is not doling out advice, Kate is a social activist supporting a charity organization that helps children in India.

• Carmine, “the beauty queen,” was born in Haiti and came to Georgia via Boston. She is a former model and Miss Massachusetts.
Carmine’s average day starts with a 5:45 a.m. workout, after which she gets her four kids ready for school. Time with her family is very important to Carmine. She and her computer engineer husband never miss their Friday date night.

• Lazette, “the planner,” was too modest to describe herself. But her fellow housewives, who know what the inside of her pantry looks like, said she is “organized,” “hot,” “humble“ and "uber-talented.”

Although Lazette is a stay-at-home mother of three, she says she is never home. She is so busy, she doesn’t watch TV. In fact, Lazette is the only one of the four ladies that had never watched “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

HOUSEWIVES VS. HOUSEWIVES

I had plenty of questions for these real housewives.

“The cast members of ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ are said to be Atlanta’s high society. Is that true?” I asked.

“I’ve been to high society events, and I’ve never seen them there,” Lisa said.

“High society is made up of Atlanta’s ‘old money,’ and they don’t flaunt it,” Kate added.

“One of (the show’s) housewives, Kim Zolciak, says in the intro of the show that, ‘In Atlanta, money and class buy you power.’ What do you think of that and what makes you feel powerful?” I asked.

Being powerful has more to do with who you are as a person and less about having money, Carmine said.

Having her home “in order,” meaning that her relationships with her husband and kids are good and stable, makes her feel powerful, she said.

Kate said her education and a continued quest for knowledge makes her feel powerful.

Lisa added self-confidence to the list.

On “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” there is a lot of drama. Sometimes the ladies’ actions might not be considered those of a proper Southern lady: Pulling out each other’s hair extensions, swearing, gossiping and lying about each other.

So, I asked, “would anyone like to comment on how you think the housewives represent Atlanta?”

The general consensus was a big “thumbs-down.” True Southerners don’t air their dirty laundry.

Lazette gave the answer I expected of a genteel Southern lady: “If someone says something I don’t like or agree with, I don’t say anything. I just smile.”

Then I asked the ladies another question related to Kim Zolciak from the show. She and her daughters are financially supported by her mysterious and married boyfriend she calls, “Big Poppa.”

“Do any of you ladies have a boyfriend? Let me rephrase. Does anyone here know of anyone here who has a boyfriend?” I asked.

(Cricket-cricket.)

Just like true friends, no one was about to “out” a friend. All of them admitted and verified that the others were happily married.

With that, I asked a final question related to show cast members Nene Leakes, who wrote a book, and Zolciak, who started a wig line.

“Have any of you read Nene’s book or worn Kim’s wigs? Let me rephrase. Does anyone here know of anyone here who has read Nene’s book or worn Kim’s wigs?”

(Cricket-cricket.)

The only answer I received was a smile.

Because I love you and I want you to be happy...

2009-10-25T22:37:00.003-06:00

...we are going to play a little game.

Lately, I have had some friends come to me asking for advice or another point of view, which I am more than happy to give. Everyone could use another voice in their head every once in a while. (What's that? Shhh... be quiet. I'm typing here. We'll talk later.)

Anywho...I figured there might be a few more of you out there, that need some advice, but are afraid to ask, so we are going to play the Spaghetti Noodle Game. Here's how it works:

Have you ever heard that if want to test your noodles to see if they are done, you throw them against the wall? If the noodle sticks, they are ready. Now, this seems ridiculous to me. I don't know why anyone in their right mind(s) would throw their food against the wall when they can just eat it to test to see if it's done. I didn't say it made sense, I just wondered if you've heard that. (You have? Great, but I'm not asking you, I'm asking them. Sshhh... I said we'd talk later.)

So, I'm going to take this pot of spaghetti noodles, full of random advice, and I am going to throw it out there. If any of it sticks to you, you are welcome.

Sometimes when things are stressful, spouses say things they don't do mean or speak without thinking. At moments like this, give each other a pass. Make up a little coupon that says, "This pass entitles you to immediate forgiveness for the dumb thing you said when we were in a stressful situation." Give your spouse a few and keep some for yourself. They may come in handy. Don't dwell on it, harp on it, or drag it on. Just forgive.

If you haven't touched that lotion, shampoo, perfume, makeup, tonic, or potion in the past 3 months, throw it out.

If you can't turn in a movie on time, sign up for Netflix.

Don't waft the blankets.

If your new shoes are a little big there are these pads with adhesive on the back that you can buy and put them on the inside heel of the shoe.

Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Did I mention that I love you?

You would be surprised at how little people think of you. They don't think you are little, they just don't think about you as much as you may think they they think about you.

Sometimes the voices in your head are just trying to help. (Yes, I told them about Netflix. Gimme another second. I have to click "Publish Post," then we'll talk.)

What do you mean you don't like my dinner?!

2009-10-25T22:02:00.002-06:00

A Halloween to outdo all Halloweens

2009-10-18T15:33:00.004-06:00

Nathan Hale, a soldier for the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War, famously said,

“I only regret that I have but one month to celebrate Halloween,” or something like that.

I can relate to Captain Hale’s sentiments. I love the month of October and Halloween and each year I try to do it bigger and better than the year before.

Let them eat soup

I’ve inadvertently set a high standard for myself. My kids enjoyed last year’s Mystery Halloween Menu so much that they’ve asked that we do it again! If you missed last year’s article when I wrote about our new family tradition, here’s a taste:

“First, start by setting a fit-for-a-ghoul Halloween table. In order to keep the cost low, I use my holiday dishes, Halloween decorations I already have on hand and some skull straws and an orange table liner I purchased from the dollar store.
Now that the table is set, create a “mystery menu,” from the meals you were already planning on serving. If you are having spaghetti, change the name to “Worms and Gut Sauce.” Or, if you are having chili, change the name to “Ground Goblin Brains with Beans.” Just be creative with the names. If you have young boys, like me, you’ll score extra -cool-mom points for the gross-out factor.
Adding food coloring is another inexpensive, but fun way to add some creepiness to your Halloween dinner. For instance, Black as a Bat Meat Loaf or Purple People Eater Chicken Pot Pie.
With their stomachs full of a spooky, but square meal, a few pieces of candy before bed shouldn’t be a big deal.”

In an effort to “outspook” last year’s Halloween feast, this year I will make soup in a pumpkin. No, not pumpkin soup, but soup cooked in a pumpkin. The recipe and instructions from Cooks.com are as follows:

SOUP IN A PUMPKIN

1 well shaped 5 lb. pumpkin1 c. grated cheese (Mozzarella or Gruyere)1 c. cooked ham, chopped2 c. toasted croutons2 c. creamPinch of nutmegSalt and pepper

Remove top of pumpkin. Scoop out seeds and stringy portion. Fill pumpkin with layers of cheese, ham, and croutons. Combine cream and seasonings. Pour into pumpkin, adding more cream, if necessary to fill shell. Cover with aluminum foil and place pumpkin in baking pan. Heat oven to 325 degrees. Bake 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring several times. Remove pumpkin from oven; place on large serving dish. Top pumpkin with lid and serve soup from pumpkin "bowl". Serves 4.

A recipe with ham, cheese, cream, and in a pumpkin, even, can’t get much better than that!

The early decorator catches the millipede

To “outhaunt” last year I had to start early. I started decorating for Halloween in September! It’s an illness, I’m sure.

Mini Me and I created a Halloween tree from a small tree branch we painted black and decorated with little ghosts hung by gingham ribbon. I stuffed and tied squares I cut from an old white sheet to create the ghosts “bodies” and Mini Me used a marker to draw on their spooky faces. Our ghostly tree is now a centerpiece for the coffee table in our living room. My next project was the outside.

I’ve never ventured far past the front door with my Halloween decorations, although I have admired the effort of others. A couple years ago, someone in my neighborhood recreated a spooky graveyard in front of their house, complete with headstones and cobwebs, minus the bodies, I think. I hope.

Decorating our front yard was a group effort. Boy #1, Boy #2, Mini Me and I created a giant millipede.

We used eight pumpkins of various sizes, a couple bags of carrots and a four foot length of rebar.

First, the boys performed the lobotomy on what would be the millipedes head and I carved the freaky face.

Mini Me was in charge of preparing the “body.” After I cut the pumpkins in half, she worked to “disembowel” them. Then, the cleaned-out pumpkin halves were laid end to end in an “s” pattern on the grass to create the millipede’s body.

Next, we drove the piece of rebar into the ground at an angle and left enough of the length sticking out to support two pumpkins and the carved-out head, giving the effect that the millipede was rising up to eat you, I mean, meet you.

Finally, we carved small holes in the side of the pumpkins to insert the carrots or “legs” of the millipede. The result is a great yard decoration to outdo anything we’ve done before, until next year.

If you pass out candy, they will come

For the first time ever, I will meet the trick-o-treaters half-way; I will pass out candy from my driveway.

We are going to give our door bell a rest. Secret Agent Man and I will set up a couple of lawn chairs and light the fire pit and watch the costume parade as it comes and goes. What a great night it’s going to be with our fire, our bowl of candy, and hordes of ghouls, fairy princesses, and Jedi knights. I’ll be sad when it’s over.

I can imagine Captain Hale during the American Revolution doing something similar. Standing around the campfire with the other soldiers, trying to stay warm and thinking to himself, “October is almost over, perhaps now, I will just give my life for my country.”

It's things like this that make me love being a woman

2009-10-16T23:58:00.004-06:00

Givin' the Kathy Van Zeland a break. This is my new "baby" from Nicole Lee!

Say "hello" everyone.

It was the wedding of the year! I'm glad I was there.

2009-10-08T21:45:00.002-06:00

Congratulations to Jim and Pam! True love forevah!!

In honor of National Poetry Day and my favorite month

2009-10-08T09:29:00.002-06:00

I love poetry that is accessible and relatable. I don't like reading poetry that requires a secret code to understand. I think that negates the purpose of being a writer; to clearly communicate your message. This is an example of one of my favorite poems about my favorite month.

October

The month is amber,

Gold, and brown.

Blue ghosts of smoke

Float through the town,

Great V's of geese

Honk overhead

And maples turn

A fiery red.

Frost bites the lawn.

The stars are slits

In a black cat's eye

Before she spits

At last, small witches,

Goblins, hags,

And pirates armed

With paper bags,

Their costumes hinged

On safety pins,

Go haunt a night

Of pumpkin grins.

-John Updike

Make your travel treasures part of home sweet home

2009-10-06T10:59:00.004-06:00

A noren (Japanese door curtain) frames a collection of masks. Japanese postcards add the finishing touch on either side of this “Great Wall” of souvenirs.

If you follow of my articles, you may remember a month back I wrote about having a yard sale to help pay for the souvenirs for our upcoming family vacation. We had a wonderful time at Walt Disney World (thanks for asking). We came home with lots of goodies: stuffed animals, water bottles, caps, sunglasses, and, of course, Mickey Mouse t-shirts.

Mere days after our return from Disney World, Secret Agent Man left for Asia. He visited the Philippines, Hong Kong, and Xiamen, China.

We love to show off the things we collect from our travels. Nothing says, “Nah-ner, nah-ner, look where we’ve been,” than a home with well-placed souvenirs.

Whether your souvenirs are from your own travels or gifts from another jet-setter, here are a few tips on how to shop and incorporate travel treasures into the décor of your home.

Black, the universal color
When you are perusing the wares in Peru, it may be hard to remember the correct shade of green you have in your living room. One way to avoid a mismatch it to always buy a decorative souvenir with the color black in it. Black is the universal color of decorating. If it has black it can be worked in somewhere, somehow into your present décor. Black reads as sophisticated, simple, rich, clean, and modern all at the same time.

Buy in pairs in Paraguay or triples in Tripoli
One little Buddha statue may seem lonely on a shelf, but two Buddhas equal bookends! Sometimes it’s hard to find a place for one Chinese scroll or one bottle of sand from your favorite beach in Mexico. But, if you buy them in two’s or three’s then you have an instant grouping that can go anywhere.

If you buy in multiples you may end up, advertently or inadvertently, starting a collection. My brother-in-law has an impressive collection of masks from around the world. Some he has collected himself, others were gifts. Over the years it has become a prize family collection that’s displayed proudly in their Atlanta home.

Go big or go home
Instead of bringing home a suitcase full of magnets, key chains, and snow globes, invest in one big souvenir, perhaps a painting, a big pot, or carved wooden plaque that can be hung over a doorway or mantle. Larger items make a statement.

One of my favorite souvenirs is a giant fan that my brother brought home from his time in Japan. The intended receiver was my mother but, when I had a big niche above my stairs to fill, that fan turned out to be just the right size for the space. Everyone who enters Casa de Payne comments on it.

Hanging in an adjacent hallway is a kimono that my brother also brought back from Japan. Again, the intended recipient was my mom. After we all took turns wearing it for Halloween, the kimono found a place of honor on the wall. It hangs by the sleeves on a curtain rod.

Postcards from Paris
I don’t have a nice camera and I am not a good photographer, so I depend on postcards. But, I don’t just bring them home and stick them in a drawer, I frame them. One of my favorites is a collection of vintage-style postcards I bought in Hawaii. I used a dark wood, collage frame to show them off. I have another framed collection of postcards Secret Agent Man brought me from India. I picked three of my favorites that were taken in the palace of Mysore. I used a gold frame to compliment the throne of the Raja pictured in the postcard.

Show off a Great Wall of souvenirs with color
Every great wall of souvenirs I have seen has been displayed on a wall painted in a beautiful color, one that sets off the collection. I recommend a rich, dark color. Add enlarged, framed pictures of the origin of your collection, especially if you are in them.

Don’t travel globally, think locally
We are so lucky to live in an area with so much natural beauty, with artisans and photographers that have been inspired by that beauty. Buy local souvenirs. Create a “Colorado” room. I love pictures of our home state, especially over-sized pictures of the Colorado National Monument.
Epcot or Estes Park, gadabout or a homebody, you don’t have to have your passport stamped to have your own Great Wall of souvenirs.

Kitchen Backsplash Project

2009-09-22T19:23:00.010-06:00

The very boring, vanilla, before picture.

The supplies purchased from Lowes. (I won't hold my breath for an endorsement check.)

The cute and willing carpenter, also known as "Dad." Works for lunch from Taco Bell.

The result!

Loved it so much we did the other wall.

Took the trimmings and lined the foot of the cabinets.

(All thepoor quality pics were taken with my camera phone. Santa is dead, because he has never brought me a new digital camera. )

Freaky, Frenchy, Friday Night

2009-09-11T22:19:00.006-06:00

Tonight, I got my red-neck on and used my deep fry'r for the first time.

The French fries were so golden and crispy and delicious that they were eaten before I could get an after picture.

***

Do you remember the Easter tree?

It's been given a new life or should I say, "a new death." Muwahahaha!

10 + 10 = Yard sale success and happy souvenir shopping

2009-08-31T23:00:00.003-06:00

It’s a Payne family tradition. Every five years we take a big family vacation and before every trip we have a yard sale to pay for souvenirs.

For our last vacation, we took our family on a Mexican cruise and used the yard sale spoils for sombreros and serapes.

This fall, we are turning Secret Agent Man’s frequent flyer miles and hotel points into a trip to Walt Disney World. So, we will be posting signs, pulling out tables and turning our gently- used items into extra cash for Mickey Mouse ears and Goofy t-shirts.

There are tell-tale signs of garage/yard sale readiness. Admittedly, I scored 9 out of 10 (I don’t have a pool table). What will your score be?

10 signs you need to have a yard sale

1. You can’t fit a single car in your three-car-garage.
2. You have 250 plastic, Easter eggs.
3. Your kids are afraid for lives to enter the garage.
4. Conditions have become so terrible in the garage that the mice have moved into the house.
5. There are unopened boxes from the last time you moved.
6. You are embarrassed to leave your garage door open.
7. You have pool table, but you haven’t seen the top of it since the 90’s.
8. You bought new Christmas tree because it would be too much work to dig out the old one.
9. Every time you enter your garage you hear the theme song to “The Addams Family.”
10. You own a sombrero or a serape.

September is one of the best months of the year to have yard/garage sale. The weather is cooler, people are home from vacation, and there are two big events in September: the Parade of Homes and the Fruita Fall Festival. If you are lucky enough to live near the festival or near a home on the parade route, you will be able to take advantage of the extra foot traffic.

10 Tips for a successful yard sale

1. Advertise your sale. We posted our yard sale online with GJsentinel.com. Make your signage clear and readable from the road. If you advertise it, they will come.
2. Group like items together: house wares, electronics, tools, and clothes all on separate tables or areas.
3. Play music. This helps to keep the atmosphere casual.
4. Plan to have plenty of small bills and coins on hand to make change. Decide ahead of time whether you will accept checks or hold items.
5. Encourage the kids participate and let them keep the money from the sale of their items. While preparing for our yard sale, I unearthed a box of my boy’s old toys. They were so excited to see them again (I should have saved the box for Christmas). Their possessiveness quickly turned to greed when I told them they could keep the money if they sold the old toys.
6. Sell a variety of items. My friend and yard sale enthusiast, Rachel, told me a good yard sale has at least three of these items: 10 used flower vases, some half-used bottles of shampoo, some roller skates (men's size 10), a copy of “The Catcher in the Rye” with some pages missing, and a tent that will sleep six, but has a few bullet holes. I have four of those items. That means my yard sale is going to be awesome!
7. Ask neighbors and family members to participate. Keep track of each person’s items with different colored stickers.
8. Mark the prices clearly, price them to sell, and be willing to negotiate.
9. Anticipate parking. Consider parking your vehicles down the street to make room for your patron’s.
10. Launder clothing items. The clothes at our yard sale will be “Payne free.” If you want something with Annie cooties on it, it will cost you extra.

The most comprehensive look book of bedroom inspiration

2009-08-25T22:47:00.005-06:00

Decorati is a wonderful website for home design eye candy. Today I looked through pages and pages of gorgeous bedrooms.

Chandeliers make every room better. That's why I have one in my bathroom!

If I was more hip, this would be my room.

If I was a single gal, this would be my dream room.