The words you thought you would never hear me say

"If I never go shoe shopping again, it will be too soon."

It started back in July. We were in Phoenix on our way to Boston. We went to a mall in Scotsdale to buy tennis shoes for the boys. We went to Foot Locker and just let them pick out whatever they wanted. Mistake number one.

I usually have them choose shoes that are gray or black because white shoes look old faster. But, I thought, "Hey, we are on vacation, try not to micro-manage every aspect of their life for a change." Mistake number two.

Boy #1 picked out a pair of $55.00 shoes. I didn't even look at the price of Boy #2's shoes, assuming that they were a similar price. Mistake number three.

I didn't realize until we rang them up that they were $80.00 shoes! For a 9-year-old?! Are you kidding me? I went ahead and bought them. What has been long suspected was then confirmed, I do, in fact, have brain damage. Mistake number four.

Two weeks ago, Boy #2 gave up wearing his $80.00 shoes. He developed a corn on his little toe and it was rubbing against his shoe. He helped himself to my tennis shoes. He didn't seem to mind that they were ladies tennis shoes. I've medicated his corn and it is fading away, but I guess I will need a stronger medication to rid him of his penchant for ladies shoes. He even wears my tennis shoes to church, insisting that his church shoes are so small that he walks on top of his toes.

If you know me at all, you know how much it kills me to have my kids wear tennis shoes to church, let alone, my tennis shoes!

So, tonight, we went to the mall, the kids and I. This time around was different.

Boy #2 got ten dollar tennis shoes instead of $80.00. Both he and his brother, at my insistence picked out gray and black shoes.

But, I did cave on the "color rule" with Mini Me. She picked out a pair of black Skechers for $34.99. Again, she is only seven, what does she need $34.00 shoes for? We compromised on a white pair of "High School Musical" shoes for $16.99, with half off of that price for also buying Boy #1's shoes in the same store. I hate character shoes, I think they are lame, but for that price, I was willing to let Mini Me walk on Zac Efron's face.

We were able to buy three pairs of tennis shoes for under $80.00. I know my thrifty friends could out frugal me. They could get six pairs of shoes with pizza money to spare for that amount, but it's still a massive improvement. Don't ya think?

But, alas the boys still needed new dress shoes. Everywhere.we.went.in.the.mall. boys dress shoes were $20.00. It felt like a conspiracy. I hated to pay that price especially since I cannot keep up with their ever increasing growth rate. We ended up buying shoes that are two sizes too big. It may look like they are wearing flippers for awhile, but at least I won't have to buy them dress shoes until their Senior Prom.

At one point during the evening, if you were in close enough proximity, you could hear me do that "mad mom" whisper, you know the one.

"This is a store, not your living room. Quit touching each other, stop making those noises, apologize for hiting your sister in the face with your shoebox, and stop laying on the benches. Is it too much to ask that we leave the mall with a little bit of dignity?!"

Apparently it is.