Monday, September 29, 2008

Yo, ho, yo, ho, a groupies life for me!

I'm beside myself with excitement. I'm going with Voices Carrie, Queen K, and another mystery blogger. I'll let her decide whether she wants to reveal herself or not.

If you don't know who Luis Miguel is, there is a great big world outside of the United States, you should go see it.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


My kids taught me a new card game called Cheat. The deck of cards is distributed evenly among the players. The object is to get rid of all your cards. When it is your turn, you lay down, up to four cards, face down and you have say what the cards are. The other players have to decide whether you are "cheating" or not. If someone calls "cheat" on you, you have to turn your cards over and prove what you have. If you cheated, you have to take the whole pile. I have heard this game called by another name, but we don't use those words in our house.

I call "cheat" tonight on Kim Kardashian. She is a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. The judges told her that she needed to sell her performance more and that she was wasting her "assets." That is when she claimed that it's hard for her because she is a really shy person!

"Baha! Cheat!"

Kim, once you have posted a video of yourself on the Internet having explicit relations, you no longer get to call yourself shy.

Okay here is another one. Different topic, same theme.

Once you have an abortion, you no longer have the right to criticize the way other people parent.

Your turn to fill in the blanks.

Once you_________________, you no longer___________________.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I was for Martha Stewart, before I was against her.

Today was a lazy Saturday at Casa de Payne.

Boy #2 said that this weekend was a "total waste" because we didn't even play teetherball. (Side prayer: Please God, let Boy #2's idea of a good weekend forever remain a game of teetherball. Amen.)

The most useful thing I accomplished was cleaning out the list of recordings on my DVR. Summer Olympics, deleted. "Tabatha's Salon Takeover," deleted.

I also caught up on a few Martha Stewart episodes. Did you see the one she did this past week on blogging?

Now, I felt like worlds collided when she had Charo on her show, in a good way. But, one of her people needs to be fired for booking Perez Hilton as a guest! I know! Perez Hilton sitting side by side with Martha? It's like sitting M*rilyn Mans*n down next to a basket of newborn puppies.

I have to believe that Martha has never wasted one minute of her life on his blog, because if she had, she would have never talked with him about his "magic white pen." They showed a picture of her, from his blog, where Perez had written in his "magic white pen,"

"Domestic diva!"

She thought it was charming. Martha, really? Did any of your high paid assistants bother to tell you what he usually writes (and draws) with his white pen?

I don't think so.

Girlfriend, I stood by you when you went to Alderson, but watching you sit stool to stool, sipping lemon water with Perez Hilton...?

You been tainted, Girl. You been tainted.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Because even this blog stinks sometimes

Don't hang out here today. This place needs to be aired out. Go here instead:

Wish Cutie Lauren, happy nuptials tomorrow.

Read open letters from Nobody.

Or visit Tori's Confession Booth. That's always good for a laugh.

Just don't hang out here.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pictures of the Sarah Palin Rally in Denver

I got the golden ticket!
I did two interviews. One with Mike Littwin of the Rocky Mountain News and one with NPR ( National Public Radio not pictured).
Here is Mike's column Warning: He is not a Palin supporter. Here is the part of his text that I believe was inspired by our conversation. He doesn't mention me by name, although this is what we talked about, concerning her appeal.
"It's class as much as gender. When you hear women say she's just like them, they're talking about someone who's gone through what they've gone through - and made it. They don't think Palin is average. They think she's talented - and talented enough to start where they did and make it to the top, even if she had to go to five colleges to get there."
Mike also asked me what I was expecting to see. I told him that, honestly, I couldn't wait to see what she was wearing. He said, "What do you think she is going to wear?"
That was a no-brainer. My answer: A smart-looking jacket with three-quarter-length sleeves, a black pencil skirt, and peep-toe pumps.
And, of course, my prediction was right on!

"Great legs!"

Those Secret Service Guys were hardcore.

"We love you Sarah!"

You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
Every good rally has dissenters. Here are some Obama supporters who have been "punished with a baby."
Thanks to El Jefe and Voices Carrie for making this day possible.
What did Joe Biden do yesterday? Probably went golfing or got a massage. It wouldn't matter, because nobody cares. Tear for Joe.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

When I see her, I'm gonna tell her I love her.

I am in Denver. I am here to see Sarah Palin. I picked out the perfect outfit. I wish you could see it. I'll tell ya all about it when I get back.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Anniethology Flashback

Any blogger will tell you that it is hard coming up with new material all the time. So I've decided to reach far back into the Anniethology archives, so far back that this post is not even from Anniethology. It is from my "Hot Fruita Mom" blog days. For your reading or re-reading enjoyment...

Annie's Marriage Advice
Original post date: October 27, 2006
First let me say, men and women are different. No duh, right? Yes, men and women are different.
I love Godiva Vanilla Black Raspberry Ice Cream. It's vanilla and black raspberry ice cream with dark chocolate chips. So good, so creamy, so rich. This stuff is so good, so rich that I feel happy just eating it a couple times a month.
Secret Agent Man loves ice cream too. He loves it so much he wants to eat it everyday. For him quantity is more important than quality. He will buy a gallon of the inexpensive vanilla and chocolate chip ice cream and eat a little everyday.
My advice: I want to be happy, I want Secret Agent Man to be happy. When mom and dad are happy, kids are happy. So, I compromise with Secret Agent Man, sometimes we have my rich, creamy Godiva ice cream and quite often we have his ice cream.
But, you say, "Annie, why would you eat his ice cream if you don't want it?"
Well, I love him and he loves me and if it makes him happy that we have his ice cream, then I think that is great. He does a lot of things for me that he would rather not do. I get the quality ice cream I want. He get's the quantity ice cream he wants. Everyone gets ice cream.
Everyone is happy.
Thanks for hanging around for the re-run. This Anniethology Flashback is dedicated to Millie.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A conversation with a video store employee

I slam my car into park and make a mad dash for the door. I hope I'm not too late to rent a copy of "Baby Mama" for tonight.

Me: (breathless) Do you have any copies of "Baby Mama?" (To the kid behind the counter)

Him: (Not bothering to look up) Yeah, over there. (Points amibiguously)

I grab a copy off the top of about twenty.

Me: Why are there so many copies? This is going to be the best movie ever! Where are the people standing in line waiting for their chance to see Amy Poehler and Tina Fey in a movie together?

Him: (Shrugs his shoulders)

I toss my five bucks on the counter.

Him: You have late fees.

Me: Figurd'.

I drop another sixty cents on the counter.

Him: That movie is due back tomorrow. (Still not looking up)

Me: Not gonna happen. I never get my movies back in time.
Hey! Where are the Junior Mints? (Looking at the snack display)

Him: We don't sell them. (Wishing I would leave)

Me: Junior Mints are the best movie snack ever! Try this at home. One handful of popcorn, two Junior Mints. One handful of popcorn, two Junior Mints. (Demonstrating the technique)

Him: (Wishes he would have taken the job at McDonalds)

Me: Try it, you'll like it. Annie Payne said so. If you stock them, they will sell. I guarantee you.

I grab my movie, head for the door, and yell over my shoulder.

Me: I'm gonna check back with you to see if you tried it!

Him: (Decides that he will definitely stay in school so he doesn't have to work at the video store for the rest of his life)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The voices are back and they are madder than ever!

I'm reading " The Host."
Even if you are paranoid, someone could still be living inside the body you snatched.
Thanks NCS for the inspiration. (Annie breaks out into song..."You're the meaning in my life, your the inspiration...") Try getting that out of your head today. You don't need to be a an alien invader to infiltrate the gray matter. I'm just sayin'.

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's time to freshen the air around here! This blog is starting to stink...

....with dank partisanship!

Awwww... that's better. Let's Bollywood!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Anniethology Question(s) of the Day

I may live to regret this.
Ever since I posted pictures of Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, my blog has become a lightning rod for political interest. My stat counter has lit up like a disco ball!
Despite everything that would indicate to the contrary, I don't like controversy.
I can't stand the back and forth of warring ideologies. I have a political opinion. I have religious beliefs, but I don't argue about it. I don't see the point.
"A man convinced against his will, holds the same opinion still."
That being said, people have come to my blog to voice their opinion and I am going to give them the forum to do that. BUT, I won't tolerate name calling. You may get away with calling someone "a disgrace to the human race" on other blogs, but not here. Look up and read the name on the blog again. It says, "Anniethology." That's me. It's still my blog. My sandbox. My rules.

1. Is there a statistic out there that says teenage girls with working mothers are more likely to get pregnant?

2.. Will Obama put his young kids before his presidency?

3. Did Obama pick Joe Biden because he wasn't a threat to his popularity?

4. How would Hillary Clinton respond to someone who says that a woman with a baby should not be Vice President?

5. I have more questions. Maybe I will save them for another day, if my computer doesn't crash from the massive amount of hits I'm going to get.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

There are only two kinds of people in the world...

....people who love Napolean Dynamite and people who hate Napolean Dynamite. There is no gray area here. There is no Switzerland. You either love it or hate it.

A blogosphere challenge has gone out to our friend Omar , spear-headed by our own No Cool Story, to finally decide which kind of person he is. In order to do that, he has to see the movie.

Omar, the gaunlet has been thrown. We are all waiting for your answer.

I love Napolean Dynamite. I love it and I've worn the t-shirt. Check out my sister's blog to see her pics from the Napolean Dynamite Festival!

Do you know which kind of person you are?