Wednesday, November 25, 2009

11 years later, I'm glad I didn't make a run for it.

When I called my parents with the news, they didn’t believe it. The chances were just too astronomical. Being known as a kidder didn’t help much, either. When they heard the crack in my voice, they knew it was true.

“Mom, I’m not kidding. I really am pregnant with twins.”

Their incredulousness was due to the fact that my brother and his wife had just delivered their own twin boys the month before.

I was only eight weeks along when I went in for an ultrasound due to a little spotting. I told Secret Agent Man that it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t need to take time off for the appointment. By then, I felt fine and the possibility of twins never even crossed my mind.
A couple minutes into the procedure the ultrasound tech said,

“Well, there’s one of the babies.”

They looked like two little pieces of rice in a sea of darkness in the small black and white print- out the doctor’s office gave me. A few weeks later we found out we were also having boys.

The rest of my pregnancy went off without a hitch. I was lucky enough to carry my twins full term. I was huge! People would ask me if I was twelve months pregnant. So sensitive.

I remember when I was driving through a drugstore parking lot, there were some guys hanging out in front of the store. They whistled and cat-called to me as I drove by with my window down. They watched me as I pulled into my parking spot and waddled out of the car. When they saw the behemoth of a pregnant lady, they sulked away, embarrassed. I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. Pregnant ladies are prone to incontinence.

We planned a scheduled c-section the day before Thanksgiving. My parents traveled from Colorado to California for the birth.

The day before I checked into the hospital, I decided I needed a new pair of slippers. I remember standing in the mouse maze of a checkout line at Burlington Coat Factory. (They sell more than just coats.) My parents left the store to pull the car around for me. After standing in line for ten minutes, I finally made it up to the cashier. She told me I couldn’t pay with a credit card at that register and I would have to get back in line. I wanted to yell,

“Hey, can’t you tell I’m twelve months pregnant? Give me a break!”

Instead, I just left the slippers at the counter and walked out. My parents were so upset to see their little/big pregnant girl, empty-handed and on the verge of tears, they took me to JcPenney and bought me a new nightgown, robe and slippers. Take that Burlington Coat Factory!

The morning of my c-section I showered, put on make-up, curled my hair, and put on my nicest maternity dress. When we got to the hospital, the nurses met me at the door with a wheelchair. I refused. I told them that I had carried my babies this far, I would walk into Labor and Delivery on my own steam.

An hour later, I wasn’t full of so much gumption. The operating room was cold and I had nothing on but a surgical gown. They hadn’t let Secret Agent Man in yet and when I saw that long needle they wanted to stick in my back, I went into panic mode. I quickly concocted a plan. I could use one hand to support my burgeoning belly and the other hand to hold back of my gown closed. I thought if I could make it out the hospital doors, I could deliver my babies in the bushes. I don’t know why I thought that would be a better option. It was about that time when my husband came in the room. I knew I couldn’t get passed him, so I resigned myself to that fact that this was going to happen with or without my cooperation.

The operation was quick. The first sight of my babies turned my panic into elation. I was the mother of two healthy twin boys, tipping the scales at 7 lbs and 8.3 lbs.

The weeks and months to follow were a sleepless blur of feedings and changings. I’m glad we took a lot of pictures, because I don’t remember much of that first year.

Today, my twins are 11-years-old. Every year I am amazed that I have kept them alive for this long. I am very proud of them and happy that they have each other.

Happy Birthday, Boys! Mama loves you.

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's things like this that make me love being a woman

I bought some friends for my new baby. I love my new purse so much, I couldn't let it live all on its lonely so I got some maryjanes from Kmart, yes Kmart, and some Crushed Crimson nail polish from Revlon. They get along great.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Easy one hour home improvement project

I had an hour before my kids came home from school, so this is what I did!

I bought mirror framing kit from Lowes and framed out my builder-standard mirror. It was so easy and would have taken less than an hour, but I had to wait for the paint to dry. They didn't have it in black so I bought dark brown and spray painted it. I tried it out on our little bathroom first to make sure I liked it and I do, so now I'll do it in my bathroom on my big mirror. The price for two kits and one bottle of mirror glue was $20.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Mini Me's Room Re-Do

I didn't intend on spending my whole Saturday in my daughter's room. It just turned out that way. I started with the idea of painting the dressers. Then I realized the handles would need to be painted, too. Then I wanted the bed and the shelf to match the dressers. But, I couldn't very well put these freshly painted pieces of furniture back up against the yellow walls that had taken some use and abuse, they needed to be touched up, too! After that I decided to replace the closet doors with curtains. Everything was looking so good, I couldn't ignore the blue marker on the toy box (Breathe, Annie, breath girl!)...two trips to the hardware store and a bottle of Diet Coke later, Mini Me had a spruced up room! And I had caffeine jitters.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The real "Real Housewives of Atlanta"

As seen in Saturday's Home and Garden section of The Daily Sentinel and at
(Top left: Lazette, Lisa. Bottom Left: Carmine, Annie, and Kate)

One of the most popular shows on cable television is “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”
It is a reality TV show that follows the lives of five housewives from the Peach State. But they aren’t your garden variety carpooling, laundry-folding, bake sale moms.
No, they are loud, brash and rich.

On a recent trip to Atlanta to visit my sister, I wanted to meet some real “real housewives of Atlanta” and see how they compared to the gals I’ve seen on TV.
I asked my sister to find me some of the most fabulous Southern ladies she knows. We set a date to meet them at one of their homes.

Each lady was as beautiful and charming as a Georgia peach and immediately showed me why the South is synonymous with hospitality.

The morning we met, I was greeted by each one with a warm hug. My sister and I were escorted into the kitchen, where the housewives were cooking bacon in a cast iron skillet and the Southern favorite: grits. (I was told grits stands for “girls raised in the South.”)
When I asked if I could take a picture, our hostess Lisa said, “Wait! Let me get out the Williams-Sonoma.”


• Lisa, Georgia native and “life of the party” is a former cheerleading captain, wife of seven years of an attorney and spunky mommy to a 4-year-old boy.
When she is not taking care of home and family, she is a hair and makeup stylist for weddings and photo shoots.

• Kate, “the adviser,” is her friends’ go-to gal. Kate has a master’s degree in educational psychology and is a former high school guidance counselor. Now, she stays at home with her three girls.
When she is not doling out advice, Kate is a social activist supporting a charity organization that helps children in India.

• Carmine, “the beauty queen,” was born in Haiti and came to Georgia via Boston. She is a former model and Miss Massachusetts.
Carmine’s average day starts with a 5:45 a.m. workout, after which she gets her four kids ready for school. Time with her family is very important to Carmine. She and her computer engineer husband never miss their Friday date night.

• Lazette, “the planner,” was too modest to describe herself. But her fellow housewives, who know what the inside of her pantry looks like, said she is “organized,” “hot,” “humble“ and "uber-talented.”

Although Lazette is a stay-at-home mother of three, she says she is never home. She is so busy, she doesn’t watch TV. In fact, Lazette is the only one of the four ladies that had never watched “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

I had plenty of questions for these real housewives.

“The cast members of ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ are said to be Atlanta’s high society. Is that true?” I asked.

“I’ve been to high society events, and I’ve never seen them there,” Lisa said.

“High society is made up of Atlanta’s ‘old money,’ and they don’t flaunt it,” Kate added.

“One of (the show’s) housewives, Kim Zolciak, says in the intro of the show that, ‘In Atlanta, money and class buy you power.’ What do you think of that and what makes you feel powerful?” I asked.

Being powerful has more to do with who you are as a person and less about having money, Carmine said.

Having her home “in order,” meaning that her relationships with her husband and kids are good and stable, makes her feel powerful, she said.

Kate said her education and a continued quest for knowledge makes her feel powerful.

Lisa added self-confidence to the list.

On “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” there is a lot of drama. Sometimes the ladies’ actions might not be considered those of a proper Southern lady: Pulling out each other’s hair extensions, swearing, gossiping and lying about each other.

So, I asked, “would anyone like to comment on how you think the housewives represent Atlanta?”

The general consensus was a big “thumbs-down.” True Southerners don’t air their dirty laundry.

Lazette gave the answer I expected of a genteel Southern lady: “If someone says something I don’t like or agree with, I don’t say anything. I just smile.”

Then I asked the ladies another question related to Kim Zolciak from the show. She and her daughters are financially supported by her mysterious and married boyfriend she calls, “Big Poppa.”

“Do any of you ladies have a boyfriend? Let me rephrase. Does anyone here know of anyone here who has a boyfriend?” I asked.


Just like true friends, no one was about to “out” a friend. All of them admitted and verified that the others were happily married.

With that, I asked a final question related to show cast members Nene Leakes, who wrote a book, and Zolciak, who started a wig line.

“Have any of you read Nene’s book or worn Kim’s wigs? Let me rephrase. Does anyone here know of anyone here who has read Nene’s book or worn Kim’s wigs?”


The only answer I received was a smile.