Monday, January 25, 2010

Fan or copycat. You decide. "Things I am Too Old For"

Because I've never had an original thought, I blatantly stole the idea AND some of the answers for this post from my friend Tiburon (Yes, that is her real name and it means "shark" in Spanish. No her parents weren't hippies, although they did live in San Fran, and yes they do love her.) and she apparently stole the idea from someone else. But, as they say imitation is a form of flattery and I copy because I love. Without further adieu...

Things I am Too Old For
Sleeping on the floor
Wearing a swimsuit without shorts or a skirt
Passing for a 20-something
Blue eyeliner
Sleeping past 9 am
Staying up past midnight
Saying "dude" or "sucks"
Not washing my face before bed
Borrowing money from my folks
Wearing a backpack unless I'm hiking
Eating cereal more than once a day
Going braless
Going clubbing
Eating pizza more than once a day
Borrowing clothes from a friend, a sister is okay
Wear anything with writing on the butt
Not wearing sunblock
Eating Taco Bell more than once a day
Hanging posters in my room
Keeping up with the Joneses (I am the Joneses)
Baby weight, now it's just plain old weight
Biting my nails
Not to floss
Macaroni and Cheese
Soda with sugar
Orange soda

Monday, January 18, 2010

My Golden Globe Tweets. Consider yourself warned.

#goldenglobes are over. Just in time tynleol pmmmmm m kicken n.
James Cameron says "Give it up for yourselves." Yay me!!! #goldenglobes
Linda Hamilton must be eating her heart out right now. If she would have held on to James Cameron a few yrs longer couldve had more $$.
Didnt they used to break up the monotony of the awards with performances of the nominees for best song? I miss that. #goldenglobes
I think took ceramics from Jeff Bridges down at the rec center. #goldenglobes
I feel warm and fuzzy inside and cant hold my head up.
Its Lady Gaga without the get-up! #goldenglobes
When Sandy wins its like we all win. #goldenglobes
Colored feathers. I broke NBC. #goldenglobes

jdoiefiei;foeje;gjeiaj vv zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Did he say butt nick?
Took a couple tylenol pmmm dont no how muchh longerrr i can tweeee... from web
Just hand over the statue to Sue Sylvester. She makes Glee. #goldenglobes
The Area 51 scientist that was strangled by an alien on Independence Day was ressurected and made Avatar. #goldenglobes
Woohoo! The nineties finally coughed up one of its best actresses, Jodi Foster! Good to see you again, Girl! #goldenglobes
I still see Leo as Gilbert Grape. Match in the gas tank. Boom-boom! #goldenglobes
Best Fake Laugh goes to Brenden Fraiser. #goldenglobes
Best cleavage of the night goes to Halle Berryl. #goldenglobes
Sue from Glee got the shaft. Watch out sister wife, youre about to board the Sue Slyvester Express...destination...HORROR. #goldenglobes
Worst cleavage of the night goes to Anna Pacquin. #goldenglobes
When I think of sexy secret agents. I think of my own Secret Agent Man. #goldenglobes

Alec Baldwin is at a charity event for the Human Fund. #goldenglobes

Alert Peta! Drew Barrymore flash froze a couple hedgehogs and pinned them to her dress! #goldenglobes from web
Kevin Bacon should win just for being named after the tastiest food ever. #goldenglobes
Helen Miren is one gorgeous geriatric. #goldenglobes
Raise your hand if you saw Grey Gardens. (cricket cricket) Thought so. #goldenglobes
Proof that American is getting dumber, Oscar Meyer no longer spells out its name in commercials. #goldenglobecommercials #goldenglobes
Cher broke off a piece of herself, dipped it in hydrogen peroxide and created Christiana Aguilara. #goldenglobes
There is no way Jane Krackowski can breath out of her nose.Janey Krack can & I dont care.Janey Krack can & I don't care... #goldenglobes
Michael C. Hall and his lucky do-rag! #goldenglobes
Felicity has never looked better. She has such a big heart too, she brought a homeless guy as her date. #goldenglobes
Kate Hudson tried to hide her Haiti ribbon in the folds of her origami dress, but I see u, I see u Kate H. supporting Haiti. #goldenglobes
Id be more impressed with those ribbons if the stars paid 50 thou a pop to wear them. #goldenglobes Haiti
I hope John Lythgoe doesnt keep Kevin Bacon from dancing tonight. #goldenglobes 6:23 PM Jan 17th
John Lythgoes was creepier as the preacher that would let the town dance. #goldenglobes
Miss Golden Globe is a knockout. Halle Berry who? #goldenglobes
Member whens Toni Colette was fluffy? Dang she looks so good now. #goldenglobes
Preach it Mo-mo! God is good. #goldenglobes
Chinese babies are so 2009, I'm all about adopting Haitian babies.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Five Virtues to a Healthy and Harmonious Bathroom

Click here to read my latest column on Confucius-style virtues to a better bathroom.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Journal entry of an aging housewife

Dear Diary,
Who am I kidding? I never kept a diary. I kept a journal (Is there a difference?). A faithful one at that, from the age of thirteen until I was married. I quit there. My quest for love ended, so I guess I felt there wasn't anything else worth reporting.
My journal is embarrassing to read, now. Just page after page of one toad after another. (Don't get all offended my former-toad stalkers, I wasn't anyone worth having until Secret Agent Man came along, either. I'm sure you all became the perfect mate for your spouses,too. Well, not all of you. I can think of a couple of you that are most likely still toads. You know who you are.)
Then, the kids came and I discovered scrapbooking as a way to keep the family history and keep my sanity. But, all the paper and scissors and mess that comes with scrapbooking took over my kitchen table and I opted to feed my family instead of document them.
Then along came the Internets. Oh Lawd, thank you and thank Father Al. I love my blog, Facebook and Twitter (Hugs and kisses all ya'alls!).
Today, is my birthday. I have a life that celebrities wish for. A faithful and adoring husband, cute kids, including twins, (They all want twins. JLo, I had them first.) great friends and a little writing career that helps me keep my perspective on life; especially the things in life that seem never-ending like: dirty dishes, laundry, dog hair, pimples and wrinkles on the same face, devotion to good causes, loyalty to friends and above all... love of God and Family.
Happy Birthday to Me.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

What a way to start a New Year!

It's our family tradition to go sledding on Jan. 1. My sister has a "private and exclusive" sledding hill behind her neighborhood. Conditions couldn't have been more excellent for a fun snow day.
Clickety here to see the video of our sledding party!