Give a girl a brake...

"Next item on the docket..."

Click here to read my latest column for my local paper, The Daily Sentinel. If you are not too cheap, leave me a comment, too.

Update: I am sorry to everyone who heeded my shameless begging for comments just to have your comments go unposted at gjsentinel.com. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe my buddy Todd P. will have a look at it on Monday. Your love and efforts have not gone unappreciated by me.

Anniethology on Idol: The Girls' snooze fest continues + More Idol "Whooz ur daddy?"

The difference between the girls and guys is glaring. It's too bad they will pick equally from each group to be in the Final 12. I couldn't pick a favorite. Maybe if you put a gun to my head I would say, "Don't shoot me!"

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I know I have shone her possible parentage before and I say "her" because I can't remember her name, and if I can't remember her name, why would I vote for her?

Anniethology on Idol: Show is over, the kid won. Plus, Idol "Whooz ur Daddy?"

Was that a-m-a-z-i-n-g or what?! I love what Paula said to David Archuleta, known on this blog as "Cutie," at the end of his performance. Something like, "I want to squish you and squeeze you and hang you from my rear-view mirror."

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Guess whose mama went on a cruise on the Love Boat in the early 80's?

When I see Chikezie I think Issac Washington took a break from mixing drinks at the bar to perform on the Lido Deck.

Anniethology on the Oscars

I can barely commit the energy to type this post. That was the most painfully boring and uninspiring award show I have ever seen. Jon Stewart couldn't have been more un-funny if he brought his own studio audience. He's nothing without is desk and pencil. I never thought I would say this, "WE WANT ELLEN! WE WANT ELLEN!"

My pick for Best Dressed is Anne Hathaway. She very rarely gets it wrong. It was the year of the ponytail. Beware, though, ladies the formal ponytail can be a hard look to pull off without looking like a schlumpahdinka. The formal pony actually takes a lot of time, deliberate hair placement, and hairspray.

And, who keeps inviting Cameron Diaz to these things? Was she even in a movie this year, besides Shrek 6.0?

Update: Since Melissa was kind enough to ask. I will share with you my pick for "Worst Dressed". This was a no brainer, nobody else came close. It was Tilda Swenton. She looked like she was wearing a Hefty bag. She looked better as the White Witch in Narnia. Despite looking like she just rolled out of the landfill, she won an Oscar for her role in Michael Clayton.

Runway Lost Idols

I am so happy that I am not the only one crazy enough to ♥ Christian from Project Runway. He won "Fan Favorite" by a landslide. He is crazy talented and totally "fierce!" I can't wait to see his collection at Fashion Week.

A.I. results? What can I say? I'm not surprised. I can't even remember those kid's names. And, hello?! Did you see Paula's new video? She is still hot! I am not embarassed to say, she is forever my girl, even though she is a hot mess and saves her only three lucid days a month for American Idol. I ♥ you, Paula!

Kate's son is Aaron?! What happened? Why won't Jack see him? Did Claire die? Is Jack responsible for her death? Did he find out that Claire is his sister? More questions than answers, this is why I love and hate Lost, big time!

Anniethology on Idol: Girl's Snooze Fest

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Don't say that you weren't thinking the same thing.

But, she rocks! Not my style, but she rocks.

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I was so disappointed in the girls tonight. I'm not excited about any of them.

But,

I give Kady, the impressionist, the "Most likely to improve" award.

Anniethology on Idol: Guys Night

These three guys left the others scrambling for the scraps tonight. Let me introduce you to "Cutie", "Funky", and "Hunky".

(Remember this is an "All Idol all the Time" Zone, it doesn't matter the topic of the post, leave a comment about A.I. whenever you want.)

As if there could be anything more about me...

Anne, talented author, horse lover, and distant cousin to Phil Collins, recently tagged me with a "7 Things About Me" Meme. In case you don't know what a "meme" is, here is a great place to illuminate yourself. Having been at this blogging thing for quite awhile, it's hard to think of things that I haven't bragged about told you about already. That being said, here we go!

1. I love watching court tv. It makes me feel superior to the rest of humanity, because I'm smart enough to 1. Not to loan anyone money and 2. I always get it in writing. I also had enough sense to not "play house" with someone I wasn't married to. So many of the cases are about these pathetic women who make car payments or buy gold chains for their boyfriends and then when things go bad and/or they find out that he has another babymama, they want their money back. Suckers. I think they got what's coming to them for "giving it up" so easily. As much as I enjoy my superiority complex, I only watch it with Secret Agent Man and we only watch People's Court with Judge Marilyn Milian. We love her signature line, "Lo barato sale caro." Translation: Cheap things turn out expensive. Ain't it the truth, sistah?!

2. My favorite Girl Scout cookies are Thin Mints and Samoas. Did anyone notice my new Good Mail Countup Clock on my sidebar? I'm just sayin.'

3. I have been on a super secret mission to Singapore with Secret Agent Man. I don't know what he did while we were there, but I spent a good portion of our week-long trip crying in my hotel room. It was the first time I had been that far from my babies for that long. I couldn't stand the fact that if they needed me, I was 24 hours away. Waaaaaaaah! It's a beautiful island country. The subway is super clean and modern. After using the underground transporation in Singapore, the New York subway system was horror to behold. Our last night we had wonderful Asian meal at the Clark Quay promenade. (pictured)

4. I am not a soccer mom anymore. I am now a basketball mom. My boys play on a 3rd grade city league. I try to pay as little attention as possible to the game. I can't stand to watch their uncoordinated growing bodies tripping, traveling, and in the case of my boys, shuffling down the court. But, there's always, of course, one or two kids who really "get" the game and ride rough shot over the kids whose mamas just signed them up so they would have something to do after school or get them off the couch.

5. I am not repressed. Compulsive Writer sent me this article. The article titled "Mormon women seek greater role" makes me laugh out loud. I think my role in my church is great enough. I am in charge of the two hour Sunday services for over 100 children, including the coordination of 15 teachers and other leaders, as well as planning and carrying other weekly activities and overseeing the Cubscout program. Hello?! I think my role is "great" enough. I don't think that anyone who knows me or reads my blog would consider me a "repressed" Mormon woman. That adjective just does not fit the culture. Over-achieving, hard-working, caring, civic-minded, yes. Repressed? No way. I may be able to think of one person who would look at my life and think "repressed", but that is because they don't appreciate the value of God, home and family and the only thing they have been able to fully committ to is their smoking habit.

6. Speaking of being repressed, did I mention at I am going to Hawaii? Yes, that is where all the repressed Mormon housewives go to relax. Seven days, six nights on the big island, just S.A.M and I. The kids are staying home with their repressed Mormon grandma. That's the great family tradition. My parents went to Hawaii three times while we were growing up and never took us kids. So, we, in turn, are leaving our kids behind, also. Don't worry, we will bring them home the customary souveniers of sugar cane, grass skirts, and shell necklaces.

7. Oh, wow, I am almost done. Hmmm, number 7. What am I going to tell you for number 7. It's got to be good. Oh, the pressure! I got nothing. You'll just have to be happy with 6 things about me.

Thanks Anne, this was a lot of fun! Now, I guess, I have to tag some people. Hmmm... Glittersmama, Nancyface, and Aubrey, your turn. If you have done this recently, guess what, you get to do it again:)

Anniethology Video Log: a la Valentines Day

Two ways to feel the love.

My ♥Valentines-inspired post can be found in two places today.

This one has a tad bit more geographical information, but it probably won't be posted until the p.m. so keep checking back.

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This one is where you can leave a kind little comment, wishing me the best, because I am all on my lonely for ♥Valentines Day:(

Don't feel sorry for me. ♥Secret Agent Man's ♥ gift to me was a free round trip ticket to anywhere in the continental U.S. Woohoo! Where to go? Where to go? Anyone want to have a blogger crash on their couch?

♥Happy Valentines Day Everybody!♥

"Your mom goes to college." Part 4.0

I can sing. I can dance. I can wear rubber pants. Now, I know the geologic time scale!

If you can't tell by the picture, that's 10 out of 10 correct, thank you very much. I think it's funny to mention that my Geology of Colorado class takes place in an auditorium. I am usually surrounded by empty seats. No one wants to sit by the non-trads (non-traditional students, a.k.a "old farts") except on quiz day! I was completely surrounded! I almost laughed out loud and shoo-ed them away. You have to know that I covered my paper. Ain't no way anyone was cheating off of my paper. I worked hard to memorize the geological timescale, I wasn't going to give anyone a sneaky peek!

Happy Year of the Rat

Many of you know that I am fascinated by Asian culture. I love Asian food, movies, and décor. I find the Chinese to be particularly interesting just for the fact that they make everything. I went to into Radio Shack the other day, I asked the salesboy to sell me a phone that was made in the USA. No surprise here... no phone, no sale.

I have been a student of Feng Shui for three years. On my old blog, I used to write posts about what I was learning. Through practicing some of the basic tennants of Feng Shui I have been able to increase the good chi in my home. I think the benefits of good chi and the fact that it's the Year of the Rat, which is associated with material prosperity, has made my recent shopping expeditions even more successful. The other day in the grocery store, I found these:

10 dogs and 10 buns!

It's gonna be a good Year of the Rat!

R.I.P.

Help! Anniethology needs a theme song.

My blog needs a theme song and I need some ideas. I have seens some blogs that are not only a pleasure to read, but a pleasure to listen to also. Here are some of my favs:

Aubrey - She is always on the cutting edge of what is about to be cool.

Carronin - Her playlist can be described as 80's on the dance tip.

E-dub- Again, more 80's with a little Bollywood! Balle! Balle!

Elastic- You are just going to have to hear it for yourself. Love songs about pumpkins?

and Isaura.- She adds the Latin flava', which I love! Aye, mi amor!

Don't hold back. Make a suggestion. What do you think the Anniethology theme song should be?

Calling on the Internet Relief Society

A friend of mine is going through a really rough time. She is an amazingly hard-working woman, who is not prone to whining, and has been there for me more times than I can count.
If any of you have ever dealt with strained familial relations, health problems, or teenage drama, you will be able to feel her pain. If it's not too much to ask, please visit her blog and give her a word of encouragement.
I'm a bad cook and I'm horribly lacking in the sensitivity department. So, if I can get a bunch of bloggers to go over there and give her a virtual hug, maybe that will be one small way I can show my friend how much she means to me.

Thanks,

Annie

If you don't mind...

...please show me a little love and by that I mean comments, over at the Mile High Mamas blog. It's an old story told in a new way. I hate to beg, but it would mean a lot to me. Smooch!

Twins: Mom said so. Therapist: Oh really?

I heard someone on Oprah say that as parents, we write on the slate of our children’s lives.
If that’s the case, someone hand me an eraser.
Although the holidays are passed, I’m still in a tailspin and my kids are paying the price, especially my twin sons. I’ve spread myself a little thin lately.
If I’m not more careful, my lack of attention to detail and lack of judgment are going to land us all in therapy. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Click here to read the rest of my latest column at gjsentinel.com. Don't miss out on reading about how the recent trauma I inflicted on my twins could scar them for life.

Dr. Phil, Master of the Make-over

Dr. Phil has been getting some bad press lately. He even inspired this scathing review from -K. But, in his defense, Dr. Phil has done some good for which he never recieves any kudos.

He introduced this woman to a straightening iron!

Before Dr. Phil!

After Dr. Phil!

I've never been jealous of a snow-woman... until now!

"How do we begin to covet?"

"We covet what we see every day."

(Name that movie.)

This icy diva lives two doors down from me. A few more warm days and she, along with my jealousy, will melt away.

Annie on Idol Part 3: Fun with DVR Version 2.0

Another proud graduate of the Anniethology School of Charm.

Awww...Nerd love.
"When I met my cousin for the first time in the audition line of American Idol,
it was love a first sight."


Thank you, thank you, Amy-Mary-Catherine Gallegher for introducing me to my new favorite word! "Whatev's."
I am going to find a reason to say, "whatev's" at least 10 times tomorrow.

Your turn to make up your own caption. Simon makes it so easy.

Pop culture sidekicks for politicians

I know it's against the Anniethology M.O. to comment on politics, but when politics crosses over into my realm of pop culture, I have to have my say.

Huck's got Chuck.

Obama has Mother Oprah and who can beat that?

Hilary has Grizzly Adams.

But, who will be Mitt Romney's pop culture sidekick?

His Disney alter-ego?

How about a beloved TV host with equally impressive hair?

Or another handsome Jeff to help show Mitt's blue state side?

Or the eternally perky Paige?

What say ye? Who can put the snap, crackle and pop culture into Mitt Romney's campaign?

Annie on Idol: Part 3 Fun with DVR

"Who's my daddy?"

"Oh Vincent, please don't terminate our love."

"Annie picked out my sweater."

Now, you join the fun. Make up your own caption!

Meet me at "The Mamas"

Click here to meet at the Mile High Mama's blog to read my post, "The Good, the Bad, and the Undies of Motherhood".

I'm in the paper and Annie on Idol: Part 2

Click here to read my latest column in the Daily Sentinel titled, "35 going on 15. Not much has changed." Then click on the little speaker and have my column read to you by a computerized voice. It's always good for a laugh.

Last night's American Idol was a blur tone deafness and disillusion. There are people that know they are bad singers, but audition just to be on TV. They get what they have coming. But, it's the people who really don't know they are bad that I feel really sorry for. At least Simon is finally getting his props from that Asian-Angel-P!mp.

"Simon, he is someone very glorious, because he give chance to everyone."

Annie on Idol: Part 1

Welcome to the first of many installments of Annie on Idol. I am a faithful and avid fan of American Idol. I declare my blog to be an "All Idol, All the Time" Zone. Feel free to leave comments about American Idol, no matter what the current topic of the post may be.

I can't get Temptress out of my head. She shouldn't have been on Idol. She needs to be on Oprah. I love Paula, but her hugs aren't magic like Mother Oprah's. A hug from Mother Oprah would make everything in Temptresses life turn to pure gold.

Speaking of Paula, she was unusually lucid. I dare say, even brillant. When she had the guy in the Princess Lea bikini leave to get his chest waxed before they would listen to him sing, that was genius! It was painless for him to show up in costume and make a fool of himself to get on TV, so I loved how Paula called his bluff and made him pay with his chest hair and I'm sure a few layers of dermis to earn his 14.5 minuts of fame.

Okay. And that blonde with the glitter eye shadow and potty mouth; Here is warning to all mothers out there. This is what happens when you put your kids to bed every night with a swig of NyQuil. I'm just sayin'.

Getting it done... with a little help

Have you ever had a task to complete, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it? You have the time, you have the energy,but the more you look at it, the more insurmountable the task becomes. That was me with the Christmas decorations.

I sent the kids back to school a week ago. I cleaned, I shopped, I did laundry, I even signed up for college, but I didn't take a single ornament off the Florentine-style Christmas tree. It occurred to me that this was more than a time issue. I needed help. Mental help. I needed someone to come in and help give me a jump start on the de-decorating. So, I called the best, most kind, and free mental health advocates I know: Mom and Dad.

I invited them over at 2 pm, so I needed to get prepared. I knew that with the purchase of new decorations, I would also need something to put them in. A quick trip to the local Family Dollar produced four new 30 gallon sized containers. With containers on hand, a plan in place, and help on the way, I felt energized and hopeful that this task, along with it's mental hold on me, would soon be packed up and in the garage.

I gave Mom and Dad the toughest job, the one I dreaded the most; taking down the seven-foot tree. When I wasn't micro-managing the placement of each ornament back in the same box it came in, I busied myself with the other de-decorating tasks. I'm happy to report, we made short order of it. Christmas taken down, boxed up, and in the garage in less than two hours. I have hand it to Mom and Dad, they work fast and didn't even mind my neuroticism.

They know who they raised.

When Secret Agent Man and I were unable to find the size of basketballs we wanted at Walmart, (Yes, basketballs come in different sizes.) we did the next logical thing. We signed me up for college!

I know that it's hard to believe that two and a half years of intensive socializing studying in the early Nineties didn't produce a degree, but it's true.
I've wanted to go back to school ever since all three of my children were in school all day, but I've never been able to fully commit. I can't even say that I am ready now. I wanted to be sure of my future career path, a.k.a, I wanted to know what I was going to be when I grew-up before I committed my time and our families money, again. But, when we couldn't find those illusive 27 inch basketballs, returning to college just seemed to be the right thing to do.