The answer to your question would be, "Yes!"

It is true,

Voices Carrie has always been fabulous!

Voices Carrie smiled even though Mom made her wear a turtle neck in the middle of the summer in the 70's.

Voices Carrie made the 80's look good!

Happy Birthday Voices Carrie!

p.s. Santa, please bring me a new scanner.

Don’t let Halloween sour, here’s my three-fold plan to avoid a Montezuma’s Revenge-style Halloween.

I remember a Halloween, sometime during the 80’s. I wore my mother’s pink robe with marabou feather trim, a cardboard crown wrapped in tin foil, and I carried a blue floral pillowcase that I had stripped off the pillow from my bed.

Usually, the kids on our street would just make the loop around our neighborhood on the Redlands. But, if we were lucky enough to talk one of our parents into driving us over to the nearby neighborhood of Panorama, we could collect triple the candy in half the time. We were even luckier still if we could then go to Monument Village, where it was rumored they passed out full-sized candy bars!

By ten o’clock the morning after, I almost couldn’t believe it myself, when I reached down into the bottom of my once heavy laden pillowcase to find it completely empty.

What a pathetic sight I must have been. A pink, fuzzy, rumpled mess with a dented and dilapidated crown, having fallen asleep in my costume, surrounded by wrinkled and empty candy wrappers with half a masticated Tootsie Roll in my mouth and the other half stuck to my hair, turning my pillowcase inside-out just to find one lonely, crumb and lint covered candy corn. I, nine year-old Annie Clark, had eaten my weight in candy.

What happened after that, as I am sure you can imagine, was the worst tummy ache in the history of all tummy aches.

I still cannot look at a piece of candy corn without feeling a twinge of shame and regret for that night of binging and debauchery.

I know there are many of you out there that can recall a Halloween from your own childhood when the sugar rush wore off and the gastrointestinal difficulties began.

Having learned my lesson the hard way, I have created a plan to help kids avoid a Montezuma’s Revenge-style Halloween. The plan is three fold; it’s all about prevention, intervention, and moderation.

Prevention

The prevention part of my plan consists of pre-trick o’ treating dinner. Make sure your little wizards and witches have their stomachs full of “real food,” before their big night of haunting.

First, start by setting a fit-for-a-ghoul Halloween table. In order to keep the cost low, heaven knows I’ve already blown a wad on costumes and candy, I just use my holiday dishes, Halloween decorations I already have on hand and some skull straws and an orange table liner I purchased from the dollar store.

Now that the table is set, create “mystery menu,” from the meals you were already planning on serving. If you are having spaghetti, change the name to “Worms and Gut Sauce.” Or, if you are having chili, change the name to “Ground Goblin Brains with Beans.” Just be creative with the names. If you have young boys, like me, you’ll score extra “cool mom” points for the gross-out factor.

Adding food coloring is another inexpensive, but fun way to add some creepiness to your Halloween dinner. For instance, Black as a Bat Meat Loaf or Purple People Eater Chicken Pot Pie.

With their stomachs full of a spooky, but square meal, a few pieces of candy before bed shouldn’t be a big deal.

Intervention

I recommend that all the household candy go into a communal bowl. Then (and this is the best part of my plan) mom and dad go through the bowl and pick out any candy that may be “tainted,” i.e.: Snickers, Peanut M &M’s, or Twix. They can keep the Three Muskeeters, in my opinion.

This ought to whittle the cache down quite a bit. What you do with the “tainted” candy is up to you. (Wink)

Moderation

This is where the final costume of Halloween is donned, that of “Candy Cop.”

Keep your communal candy bowl in a secure area where you, as the “Candy Cop” can dole out a few pieces of candy at a time over the next few days, weeks, or months.

Last year, our communal candy bowl lasted us until the day before Christmas. All the “good stuff” was gone the first week. By December we almost had to force ourselves to finish off the Bit O’ Honeys, Necco Wafers, and Boston Baked Beans. Who passes that stuff out anyway?

Tis’ true I have rarely met a piece of candy that my stomach didn’t agree with, but as proven by “1980s Annie” without a little prevention, intervention, and moderation, too much of even the best of candies can sour a holiday.

For more ideas and recipes for a Halloween Dinner visit:
· Familyfun.com for Worms on a Bun
· Allrecipes.com for Kitty Litter Cake
· Thriftyfun.com for a Day Old Bath Water Punch
· Britta.com for Decayed Corpse Chips with Entrails Salsa

Someone is pregnant, again!

It's not me. But I threw a baby shower yesterday. Here are some highlights:

Nothing says "gestation celebration" like 3 different kinds of cupcakes topped with altered art fairies.

Cute cupcake invitations made by Darcy.

I made cupcake marble magnets for the guests. Thanks Elastic, for the idea. I wish I was a better photographer, I couldn't capture how cute these turned out.

Did you get that the theme was ducks?

Speaking of babies. Have you dropped in on _________ to congratulate her on her pregnacy?

You have to have a Plan B

I love this picture that I have seen floating around the Internet(s). And I am sure it is to blame for why I can't go back to sleep this morning. My kids don't have school today, so I was hoping to sleep in, but this image popped in my head and I started to think about "what if."

"What if they don't win? What if these superstars of the political world don't reach their goal? Then what?"

That is a question I am asking all of you today. One of them is definitely not going to make it. I don't imagine them going back to their home states and continuing their politcal carrers. One of them is going to need career counseling. Here is your chance to give me some suggestions.

P.S. Whoever created this picture, I love them and their mad fotoshop skillz! That would have been a completely unstoppable partnership.

What is your parenting style: Cheerleader or Coach?

In our younger, leaner years, Secret Agent Man was an athlete. I was a dancer. So how did we end up with uncoordinated kids? (click here to read more)

Mom, what does V.I.P mean? It means people who are smart enough to donate to the campaign.

Just one of thousands.


My plan was a total wash. We stood in line just.like.everyone.else. After an hour of inching our way up to Security, they decided to close up shop and just let us all in, sans bag check and metal detectoring.


See the little red dot in the middle of the picture? That is her! That's as close as we got.

The snazzy outfits didn't score us V.I.P seats, but we sure had a good time anyway.

Had I not seen Sarah Palin in Denver last month with Voices Carrie and El Jefe, I would have been pretty disappointed in how tonight panned out. See how close we were at the Denver rally? (above)

Conservatism is alive and well in small town America. "Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!"

Sarah Palin in my hometown, today!

I have my Palin `08 t-shirt in the dryer right now! More pictures to to follow. It's my goal to try to sit in the seats behind the stand where she speaks. Those coveted spots come by invitation only. When I went to her rally in Denver, a family behind us in line were invited to sit on the stand because they had t-shirts that said, "not aborted."

My strategy is to bring my boys in their cub scout uniforms and I will dress in my den mother uniform, borrowed from my mom, I don't have my own. I'll have my Palin shirt on underneath. I had to bribe my boys with the promise of Blizzards afterwards to get them to come.

It's a cloudy day here in Grand Junction/Fruita, but it's not dampening my enthusiasm in the least bit! Woot! Wish me luck!

P.S. I'm having my bangs cut today so I can look more like her.

A conversation that may or may not have just happened. An Anniethology Endorsement. And, my children ARE normal

Allegedly, a few minutes ago, I got a call from a close familial relation whose domestic partner may or may not be a hotelier extraordinaire. She may or may not have told me, under the strictest of confidence, that she, indeed, is not pregnant, but that the S3cret S3rvice has just booked, or not, rooms at their hotel for one of the candidates. Allegedly.

After I squealed with excitement, I whispered, "Where are you calling from?"

She might have said, "The hotel and why are you whispering?"

I could have replied, "No, no, no! You'll ruin it."

She defensively replied, "What are talking about?"

I said, "You have to know that they are already bugging the place to make sure it is secure and now they won't stay there because you have spilled the beans (allegedly) that they are coming."

She said, "I'm not using the business phone, I'm calling you from my cell phone."

I might have said, "They have listening devices for those, too."

Back pedaling, she said, "Well, forget what I said. I didn't say anything."

Even if I was telling you about this, which I am not, I could have said, "Don't worry, I didn't hear anything."

"Kath and Kim" is my new favorite TV show. Any show with bananaclips, Erasure, and mallrats is tops on my DVR.

My kids have the day off of school today. I told them that if they are just laying around watching TV and playing video games, I am going to give them chores to do, but if they go outside and play, I will not call them in to help around the house. They chose to play outside. See? They ARE normal.

Joe the Plumber for President!

Joe the Plumber will clean out the back log. Joe the Plumber will stop the rising water from flowing over the bowl. Joe the Plumber recognizes the need for more toilet paper education. Joe the Plumber will bring his own tools. Joe the Plumber uses a hatchet, a scalpel, and a plunger. Joe the Plumber needs no on-the-job training. Joe the Plumber has been to Columbia. Joe the Plumber will root out the corruption of sewer lines. Joe the Plumber will work hand in hand with Mr. Tidy Bowl for the best interest of your plumbing. It's like Joe the Plumber always says,

"One good flush deserves another!"

Go Joe the Plumber!

Family Foto Flashback

His

Mine

(Blogger Brownie Points for anyone who can guess which one I am:)

Now it's your turn. Let me know when you have posted your own Family Foto Flashback.

Thoughts for a Monday morning: An exercise in free-writing

My right ear is hotter than my left. I wonder how long it will take for the smell of bacon to go away. Now that I have typed out my ear, it itches. The boys need new pants. It's gone from summer to winter over night. How ordered frost? Last week I was a smart mom for having them wear shorts when it was so warm. Now I'm a neglectful mom for sending them to school in 39 degree weather. I'm a crummy mom. No, I'm not. I'm over the pity party. Just like that. That just happend. We need cereal, milk, lunch meat, paper towels, toilet paper, body wash, a different kind of toothpaste. That cinnamony stuff is too much like candy. I want my toothpaste to be more medicinal. I want it to feel like it doing something. Aquafresh Extreme Clean in that orangy flavor is nasty. I won't buy that again. Maybe is should pick up some Halloween candy while I am out. It's only going to get harder to find the kind I like. I like to pass out chocolate. Snickers, Twix, M&M's, something like that. There is going to be more trick o treaters this year. Halloween is on a Friday, no school the next day. They are going to show up later. Fog juice, we need more fog juice. I better write down my meeting for Wednesday or I'm going to forget. If it's not on "the brain" it doesn't exist. I feel sorry for anyone who is going to read this. Is this what they call "Stream of Consciousness?" Looking back. Shopping, toothpaste, the weather, chocolate and bacon. Why am I not surprised that I wrote about chocolate and bacon? It's like I always say, "The only thing that tastes better than chocolate is bacon." This has got to stop. I'm sure there is something better I could be doing with my day. It's Weekly Home Blessing Day. That's right. Thanks to the little Flylady in my head reminding me. Man, my kids are lucky. I shouldn't clean their rooms for them, but I will. I wonder if there is another piece of bacon left. I'm not gonna eat it. I'm not going to eat anything today. I'm just going to drink. I still feel full from yesterday and the day before. Beverly Hills Chihuahua is really cute. There was a part when I actually cried. "Find your inner bark!" I can't believed I typed that. This exercise is ovah.

Hello, Daily Sentinel Readers. Looking for my Lobster Gram Blog?

Click here!

Anniethology Would You Rather?

Would you rather give up your cell phone or cable TV with DVR?

I ♥ October!

I leave the dead crickets on the front porch for effect.

Witchy Witch is motion activated. I love to see people jump when they approach the front door. Muwahahaha!

I love bacon. I love chocolate. The only thing that tastes better than chocolate is bacon. I think if I made and sold chocolate wrapped in bacon or bacon wrapped in chocolate.I would be rich. Really rich.I think I could make a bajillon dollars selling my chocolate/bacon combo. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) said that the economic crisis is not "our" fault."Our" being the regular people. He pointed the finger of blame at Bush and top business executives.They may have their culpability, but Harry Reid is wrong.Anyone who is living beyond their means is to blame.Any person or business who uses credit to pay the bills or make payroll is to blame.Anyone who bought a house with a mortgage they can't afford is to blame.A mortgage is a product. Just like chocolate wrapped in bacon. Just because chocolate wrapped in bacon is amazing, doesn't mean you have to buy it.Just because I will make it, market it, sell it, and feed it to you, doesn't mean you have to eat it. It's time the government, big business, and the regular people live within their means.And when I point the finger at you (not you, but you) I have three more pointing back at me.

Halloween 2003

Yo, ho, yo, ho, a groupies life for me!

I'm beside myself with excitement. I'm going with Voices Carrie, Queen K, and another mystery blogger. I'll let her decide whether she wants to reveal herself or not.

If you don't know who Luis Miguel is, there is a great big world outside of the United States, you should go see it.

"Why I’m a Bad Mother, Reason No. 47: I blame my kids for my lack of friends "

Click here to read more.

Cheat!

My kids taught me a new card game called Cheat. The deck of cards is distributed evenly among the players. The object is to get rid of all your cards. When it is your turn, you lay down, up to four cards, face down and you have say what the cards are. The other players have to decide whether you are "cheating" or not. If someone calls "cheat" on you, you have to turn your cards over and prove what you have. If you cheated, you have to take the whole pile. I have heard this game called by another name, but we don't use those words in our house.

I call "cheat" tonight on Kim Kardashian. She is a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. The judges told her that she needed to sell her performance more and that she was wasting her "assets." That is when she claimed that it's hard for her because she is a really shy person!

"Baha! Cheat!"

Kim, once you have posted a video of yourself on the Internet having explicit relations, you no longer get to call yourself shy.

Okay here is another one. Different topic, same theme.

Once you have an abortion, you no longer have the right to criticize the way other people parent.

Your turn to fill in the blanks.

Once you_________________, you no longer___________________.

I was for Martha Stewart, before I was against her.

Today was a lazy Saturday at Casa de Payne.

Boy #2 said that this weekend was a "total waste" because we didn't even play teetherball. (Side prayer: Please God, let Boy #2's idea of a good weekend forever remain a game of teetherball. Amen.)

The most useful thing I accomplished was cleaning out the list of recordings on my DVR. Summer Olympics, deleted. "Tabatha's Salon Takeover," deleted.

I also caught up on a few Martha Stewart episodes. Did you see the one she did this past week on blogging?

Now, I felt like worlds collided when she had Charo on her show, in a good way. But, one of her people needs to be fired for booking Perez Hilton as a guest! I know! Perez Hilton sitting side by side with Martha? It's like sitting M*rilyn Mans*n down next to a basket of newborn puppies.

I have to believe that Martha has never wasted one minute of her life on his blog, because if she had, she would have never talked with him about his "magic white pen." They showed a picture of her, from his blog, where Perez had written in his "magic white pen,"

"Domestic diva!"

She thought it was charming. Martha, really? Did any of your high paid assistants bother to tell you what he usually writes (and draws) with his white pen?

I don't think so.

Girlfriend, I stood by you when you went to Alderson, but watching you sit stool to stool, sipping lemon water with Perez Hilton...?

You been tainted, Girl. You been tainted.

Because even this blog stinks sometimes

Don't hang out here today. This place needs to be aired out. Go here instead:

Wish Cutie Lauren, happy nuptials tomorrow.

Read open letters from Nobody.

Or visit Tori's Confession Booth. That's always good for a laugh.

Just don't hang out here.

Pictures of the Sarah Palin Rally in Denver

I got the golden ticket!

I did two interviews. One with Mike Littwin of the Rocky Mountain News and one with NPR ( National Public Radio not pictured).

Here is Mike's column Warning: He is not a Palin supporter. Here is the part of his text that I believe was inspired by our conversation. He doesn't mention me by name, although this is what we talked about, concerning her appeal.

"It's class as much as gender. When you hear women say she's just like them, they're talking about someone who's gone through what they've gone through - and made it. They don't think Palin is average. They think she's talented - and talented enough to start where they did and make it to the top, even if she had to go to five colleges to get there."

Mike also asked me what I was expecting to see. I told him that, honestly, I couldn't wait to see what she was wearing. He said, "What do you think she is going to wear?"

That was a no-brainer. My answer: A smart-looking jacket with three-quarter-length sleeves, a black pencil skirt, and peep-toe pumps.

And, of course, my prediction was right on!

"Great legs!"

Those Secret Service Guys were hardcore.

"We love you Sarah!"


You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

Every good rally has dissenters. Here are some Obama supporters who have been "punished with a baby."

***

Thanks to El Jefe and Voices Carrie for making this day possible.

***

What did Joe Biden do yesterday? Probably went golfing or got a massage. It wouldn't matter, because nobody cares. Tear for Joe.

When I see her, I'm gonna tell her I love her.

I am in Denver. I am here to see Sarah Palin. I picked out the perfect outfit. I wish you could see it. I'll tell ya all about it when I get back.

Anniethology Flashback

Any blogger will tell you that it is hard coming up with new material all the time. So I've decided to reach far back into the Anniethology archives, so far back that this post is not even from Anniethology. It is from my "Hot Fruita Mom" blog days. For your reading or re-reading enjoyment...

Annie's Marriage Advice

Original post date: October 27, 2006

First let me say, men and women are different. No duh, right? Yes, men and women are different.

I love Godiva Vanilla Black Raspberry Ice Cream. It's vanilla and black raspberry ice cream with dark chocolate chips. So good, so creamy, so rich. This stuff is so good, so rich that I feel happy just eating it a couple times a month.

Secret Agent Man loves ice cream too. He loves it so much he wants to eat it everyday. For him quantity is more important than quality. He will buy a gallon of the inexpensive vanilla and chocolate chip ice cream and eat a little everyday.

My advice: I want to be happy, I want Secret Agent Man to be happy. When mom and dad are happy, kids are happy. So, I compromise with Secret Agent Man, sometimes we have my rich, creamy Godiva ice cream and quite often we have his ice cream.

But, you say, "Annie, why would you eat his ice cream if you don't want it?"

Well, I love him and he loves me and if it makes him happy that we have his ice cream, then I think that is great. He does a lot of things for me that he would rather not do. I get the quality ice cream I want. He get's the quantity ice cream he wants. Everyone gets ice cream.

Everyone is happy.

Thanks for hanging around for the re-run. This Anniethology Flashback is dedicated to Millie.

A conversation with a video store employee

I slam my car into park and make a mad dash for the door. I hope I'm not too late to rent a copy of "Baby Mama" for tonight.

Me: (breathless) Do you have any copies of "Baby Mama?" (To the kid behind the counter)

Him: (Not bothering to look up) Yeah, over there. (Points amibiguously)

I grab a copy off the top of about twenty.

Me: Why are there so many copies? This is going to be the best movie ever! Where are the people standing in line waiting for their chance to see Amy Poehler and Tina Fey in a movie together?

Him: (Shrugs his shoulders)

I toss my five bucks on the counter.

Him: You have late fees.

Me: Figurd'.

I drop another sixty cents on the counter.

Him: That movie is due back tomorrow. (Still not looking up)

Me: Not gonna happen. I never get my movies back in time.

Hey! Where are the Junior Mints? (Looking at the snack display)

Him: We don't sell them. (Wishing I would leave)

Me: Junior Mints are the best movie snack ever! Try this at home. One handful of popcorn, two Junior Mints. One handful of popcorn, two Junior Mints. (Demonstrating the technique)

Him: (Wishes he would have taken the job at McDonalds)

Me: Try it, you'll like it. Annie Payne said so. If you stock them, they will sell. I guarantee you.

I grab my movie, head for the door, and yell over my shoulder.

Me: I'm gonna check back with you to see if you tried it!

Him: (Decides that he will definitely stay in school so he doesn't have to work at the video store for the rest of his life)

Hot Button Topic at Mile High Mamas

Click here to read what all the fuss is about!

The voices are back and they are madder than ever!

I'm reading " The Host."

Even if you are paranoid, someone could still be living inside the body you snatched.

Thanks NCS for the inspiration. (Annie breaks out into song..."You're the meaning in my life, your the inspiration...") Try getting that out of your head today. You don't need to be a an alien invader to infiltrate the gray matter. I'm just sayin'.

It's time to freshen the air around here! This blog is starting to stink...

....with dank partisanship!

Awwww... that's better. Let's Bollywood!

Anniethology Question(s) of the Day

I may live to regret this.
Ever since I posted pictures of Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, my blog has become a lightning rod for political interest. My stat counter has lit up like a disco ball!
Despite everything that would indicate to the contrary, I don't like controversy.
I can't stand the back and forth of warring ideologies. I have a political opinion. I have religious beliefs, but I don't argue about it. I don't see the point.
"A man convinced against his will, holds the same opinion still."
That being said, people have come to my blog to voice their opinion and I am going to give them the forum to do that. BUT, I won't tolerate name calling. You may get away with calling someone "a disgrace to the human race" on other blogs, but not here. Look up and read the name on the blog again. It says, "Anniethology." That's me. It's still my blog. My sandbox. My rules.

1. Is there a statistic out there that says teenage girls with working mothers are more likely to get pregnant?

2.. Will Obama put his young kids before his presidency?

3. Did Obama pick Joe Biden because he wasn't a threat to his popularity?

4. How would Hillary Clinton respond to someone who says that a woman with a baby should not be Vice President?

5. I have more questions. Maybe I will save them for another day, if my computer doesn't crash from the massive amount of hits I'm going to get.

There are only two kinds of people in the world...

....people who love Napolean Dynamite and people who hate Napolean Dynamite. There is no gray area here. There is no Switzerland. You either love it or hate it.



A blogosphere challenge has gone out to our friend Omar , spear-headed by our own No Cool Story, to finally decide which kind of person he is. In order to do that, he has to see the movie.

Omar, the gaunlet has been thrown. We are all waiting for your answer.

I love Napolean Dynamite. I love it and I've worn the t-shirt. Check out my sister's blog to see her pics from the Napolean Dynamite Festival!



Do you know which kind of person you are?

If you see her... Version 2.0

...tell her I love her!

The Secret is.... I'm controversial!

I have been reading the book, "The Secret." It's been amazing what I have been able to "manifest" into my life by using some of the concepts contained therein. I have read other books before about the power of positive thinking, but this one has proven to work more powerfully in my life. Since I have been reading the book I have been able to bring some exciting things into my life with my thoughts.

Ham and mustard

I was reading a book about a poor, young, teenage girl who lived in a decrepit castle with her family. A neighbor gave them ham and mustard for a Christmas meal. It was the best meal they had had in months. When I read that I thought, "Ham and mustard, that sounds good."

A week later, we went to dinner at a friend's house. What did they serve?! You guessed it! Ham and mustard!

Member of an Advisory Board

I recently recieved an e-mail from an up and coming on-line clothing store I purchase from. They asked me to be on their Advisory Board for a new clothing line! In return, free clothes! Woot! Thank you, Universe! When I told my sister, Fashionista, about it she said, "How did they know you were opinionated?" I don't know. I guess I just "manifested" it. Oh yeah!

Made national news

I wrote, what turned out to be, an edgy post for the Mile High Mamas blog. My post was picked up by an associate producer at abcnews.com. She called me and asked me to do a follow-up for an article she was writing.

I am super excited about having made national headlines. But, my mom is all upset at some of the comments I have been receiving. Apparently, my quotes have made me, in the eyes of some, a "disgrace to the human race."

How does Kathy Griffin's mom deal with her daughter being controversial? Kathy always jokes about her mother and her boxes of wine. I guess it's too bad my mother doesn't drink.

And for my next manifestation...

Seeing how applying certain principles from "The Secret" has brought some exciting things into my life. I decided to test the waters even further. I put on a water-skiing vest and threw open my front door and yelled for the Universe to hear,

"I want a boat!"

Apparently, the Law of Attraction went a little off kilter, because I noticed a new boat in my neighbors driveway instead of my own.

Maybe in need to "manifest" a little harder.

I'm "Parenting with Altitude!"

I'm the top post at Mile High Mamas today. My kids have gone back to school and my twin boys have a man teacher! Click here to check what I have to say about that! Apparently, I've hit a nerve! Go see what all the fuss is about.

Scroll down to help me with an upcoming Home and Garden article and don't for get to take my new "Cindy McCain Picture of the Day" poll.

Calling all my Homies

Hello, my fellow Home and Garden enthusiasts. I would like your input for my next article. I want to know about your household chores that need to be done every so often, but tend to get over looked. For instance, vacuuming your mattresses, deodorizing the waste disposal, washing the outside windows, or changing the batteries in the smoke detectors. What are your every-so- often" chores and how do you do them? Do you have a system in place to remind you to do them? What chores have you been putting off until you have more time?

Thanks for the help. Don't forget to check out my new poll on my sidebar!

It's nice to be loved!

Yesterday, I received flowers from Aubrey . Now if only she were here to stage them perfectly for me. The flowers took me completely by surprise. It's not my birthday or my anniversary. I was about to give Secret Agent Man big props from being super romantic. Haha!
And I got a wedding announcement from Cutie Lauren! I want to go to her reception sooooo bad. At least I got a preview of the wedding dress. Try not to be jealous. Talk about Good Mail! That was too good to be true! Thanks Ladies. Smooch!

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

It's been 31 days since I have quit my dear friend, Diet Coke, cold turkey. I white knuckled it for the first week and a half. It seemed to get a little easier after that. They say it takes 28 days to change a habit. I very nearly fell of the wagon on Day 28. We went to Fiesta Guadalahoochies for lunch and I wanted to throw back a soda with my chips and salsa and Picadillo Burrito like there was no mañana, but Secret Agent Man pulled me back from the ledge, i.e. staged an intervention, prying my death grip off the icy glass and away from my quivering lips. I have decided to quit caffeine and carbonation altogether in an effort to make healthier choices. Since I am not buying so much soda, I have more money in my pocket: Upgrade. But, I have replaced my Diet Coke with fruit juices, therefore I am drinking some of my calories: Downgrade. As certain as I am that I have done a good thing, I will miss my D.C. ::Tear::

If you see her...

...tell her I love her.

Two bloggers collaborate for a Home and Garden article

While at the blogger party in Oregon, Aubrey and I collaborated for my latest Home and Garden article. We wrote about her home staging business and bringing the beach home. Here are two scanned pictures of the article.

Here is the full text of the article:

CANNON BEACH – I have gone from coast to coast in a week’s time. My last article was written from Boston. Now, I am writing from Cannon Beach, Oregon.

I am here for a blogging convention where I have met, for the second time, my BFF (Blogging Friend Forever), Aubrey Petersen. Aubrey is a Colorado native that now resides with her family in Bellevue, Washington. She is not only my BFF, but also an ASP, Accredited Staging Professional.

I’ve been inspired by the beauty of the northern east and west coasts of America. But, how do I take the beach home with me without it looking like Captain Ahab is having a rummage sale in my living room?

Sitting in the cute, cozy, and clean kitchen of our rented beach house, Aubrey and I had a Q & A session about her business and her advice on how to bring the beach home to the Western Slope.

Annie: Tell me about your home staging business.

Aubrey: There are various aspects to my business. I stage homes to sell, I stage homes to live, I stage offices and retail shops. I can travel to you and do it for you or I can give a consultation over email if you would like to do the work yourself.

When staging a home to live, I get to know my client, their personality and style and ask them what their ideal home is, complete with the kind of feel they want in their home. I am also careful to make everything in their home as functional as possible. So, for instance, when my client says that he has a hard time figuring out where to put all of his video game equipment in a way that is pleasing to his wife, I search for the perfect way to organize that, whether it is a shelf or a cabinet.

When staging a home to sell, I stage it just like how you would market a product. I declutter, de-personalize, rearrange furniture and generally accentuate the positive in your home so that prospective buyers can see themselves living in your house.

Whether staging to sell, staging to live or staging an office or retail space, I can work entirely with the furniture and accessories my client currently has or, if my client has more of a budget, I can bring in additional furniture and accessories.

Annie: Do you have a personal philosophy when it comes to home staging?

Aubrey: My philosophy on staging is to keep everything uncluttered, functional and classy. Most people, right now, could look around their home and see furniture or accessories that they either don't like or don't use. When you free up that space and then arrange your remaining furniture in a pleasing and welcoming way, along with adding beautiful accessories, you will create a space that you love and feel comfortable in or for those who are looking to sell their homes, a home that will attract prospective buyers.

Annie: Colorado is a land-locked state. I love the beach, I love the sand, I would like to create a space in my home with an Oregon coast-feel, but I don’t want it to look like Bob’s Fish and Chips. What do you suggest?

Aubrey: Well, the northern coasts of the U.S. have more muted, light colors as opposed to the more tropical locations with bright colors and a surfy feel to them. I would suggest keeping the wall colors light. White, tan or even a pale blue would work. The same goes for the furniture, keep it light or earth-toned.

Annie: What about window coverings?

Aubrey: I like the idea of something flowy and natural. You can hang white voile or linen curtains or even some earth toned roman shades or bamboo blinds.

Annie: What if I have only a small space to work with?

Aubrey: Don’t be intimidated by small spaces. Using mirrors helps add depth and brightness to your smaller beach space. Pottery Barn has some great frameless mirrors. They can be hung alone or with a natural rope or raffia for a more organic feel.

Annie: What about accessories? This is where a lot of people go “overboard,” so to speak.

Aubrey: Once again, I suggest keeping it natural. Bring in nature: Large table corals, small pieces of driftwood and green, leafy plants. And don't forget seashells and sand! Keep it simple and uncluttered by filling various sized glass vases or bowls {which can be found easily at thrift stores} with shells and sand. You could even bring in a nautical touch if that appeals to you. A pretty model sailboat perched on the mantel next to some large shells would look great. But not too much! Remember that you are channeling the seaside here. Clutter will not help you achieve the airy, relaxing feel that you are wanting. So, less is more! Keep your accessories to a minimum.

Annie: What about hanging things on the walls, like a captains hat or a life preserver from the S.S. Minnow (jokingly)?

Aubrey: While I was window shopping in Oregon, I found an overabundance of shops aimed at tourists wanting to bring the beach home. I paid close attention to what you could decorate your walls with. Everything from wooden plaques with seaside sayings painted on them, to enormous framed paintings of the beach. I even saw various sizes of beautifully polished ships helms. I personally enjoy going into someone’s home and seeing photographs. It adds a personal touch to a space and is a great conversation piece. If you took some great pictures of the kids playing in the surf, frame them. Or if you took gorgeous pictures of the sunset, frame those. Keep is simple and uncluttered. A pretty montage of 2 or 3 pictures with the same earth toned frames, placed on a certain spot on the wall is perfect. More than that, it gets too chaotic. So, paintings or photos, black and white or color, pictures of the kids on the beach or just a shot of the ocean. Bring the beach into your home through pictures you have taken or have bought.

Annie: I think I am ready to put some of your advice in the practice and put a little of my beach vacations into my home. Do you have any more advice?

Aubrey: Whether you want a strong coastal influence in your home or just a touch here and there, the main thing to remember is to keep it simple, uncluttered and comfortable. Anyone can achieve this look and feel, even on a tight budget, but keeping the clutter to a minimum will make all the difference.

For more information about Aubrey Petersen ASP, Accredited Home Staging Professional, visit her website at www.stagingbyaubrey.com or e-mail her at Aubrey@stagingbyaubrey.com.

This article is also available to read online at gjsentinel.com.

The Cap is on the Summer of 2008

I'm the top post at Mile High Mamas today. Click here to see what this ↑ is all about.

The Second Annual Summer Blog Party `08!

I' ve been at the Oregon coast for the Summer Blog Party `08. 15 women, 2 vans, one Impala, and a beach house. I am bad, I mean, really bad at the recap. All I can say is that a good time was had by all. Here are a few pictures.

This is where we stayed.

This is what we saw.

When bloggers get together, it's like Christmas. This is what I gave to the bloggers. They didn't survive the plan ride in my suitcase too well. Most of the beads fell off. Downer!

Multnomah Falls

It wasn't a one woman blog convention, there were other bloggers there, but I have to get their permission before I can post their photos. Some bloggers like to keep their identities super secrety if you know what I mean.

Two things in the Blogosphere you have to see!

This & this!

Hint: Click on "this."

Stop the presses!!

My dad, Big Rich, thought it would be funny to play "cut and paste" with my last Home and Garden article.

He handed me this copy of The Daily Sentinel and told me that half the newspapers in Grand Junction went out with this picture from the Olathe Sweet Corn Festival, instead of the expertly posed and primped for picture I submitted. (See below.)

After some crying and wailing and gnashing of teeth, I noticed that the picture of the person in the corn eating contest had been glued over the original.

Bad Daddy! Bad!

See what I mean about "protecting the brand?"

Tablecloths, place mats, and napkins: Dressing the table from a wardrobe consultant's perspective

Here is the text and picture from my latest Home and Garden article! Enjoy! For more information about Lori Wynne, visit her website at www.fashionwithflair.com.

BOSTON - I am writing this article in Boston. My family and I are here visiting my sister, Lori Wynne. She is a wife, a mother, and a wardrobe consultant.

Along with a having a passion for fashion and a soft spot for good causes, she also has a harmless addiction to table linens. Lori loves dressing her kitchen and dining room tables almost as much as dressing herself or her clients. This being said, she has amassed quite a collection of tablecloths, runners, placemats, napkins and napkin rings. In fact, she has more placemats than bath towels. Lori’s double-door linen closet has one shelf for towels and two shelves filled to the brim with table linens. She counted 21 sets of napkins, 14 sets of placemats, 16 runners, and 20 tablecloths.

Table linens serve double duty; protecting your table from damage and they serve as decoration. Table linens appeal to both Homies (Home and Garden enthusiasts) and Foodies (Food and Dining enthusiasts) alike. Both would agree that a well set table makes a meal more enjoyable and appetizing.

Lori’s personal philosophy on setting a beautiful table is, “Presentation is everything.” One or both of her dining tables are always decorated with linens and centerpieces. In an effort to be “green,” Lori says, she will leave her tablecloth on the table two to three days until laundering becomes necessary.

“I use cloth napkins instead of paper. In my house, the napkin stays at the family member’s place at the table. After each meal, the napkin will go back in the ring until its next use. When the linens get dirty, once or twice a week, I change them. It’s like redecorating in a minute’s time.”

Our mother set our feet on the path of appreciating a nicely set table. Growing up in the Clark household, the use of table linens was commonplace.


As children we understood that a formally set table signaled the advent of something special. Eating at the dining room table, as opposed to the kitchen table, we sat up a little straighter, held our forks delicately and properly, instead of the dagger position, and only caught the disapproving eye from our mother when we tried to compose a symphony by circling the rim of our water goblets with wet fingers.

Lori doesn’t believe that you need to sacrifice civility or style just because there are children in the home.

She says, “You may think that tablecloths and napkins are not appropriate for your current lifestyle. On the contrary, I have used cloth linens since the day I was married, then had two small, messy eaters and now dine with a couple of voracious teenage boys. The solution is clear plastic placemats over the cloth placemats when feeding toddlers. Whether in fashion or dressing your table there’s no need to forgo style when living with young children.”

She adds, “As a mother of two sons and the daughter-in-law of a woman who wrote an etiquette book, I feel it my duty to teach my sons the proper use of cloth table linens and to not be intimidated by them. Equally important, I have taught them to set a proper table. Just like jewelry and shoes, dishes and napkin rings are the accessories for the table that complete the look you are trying to convey.”

Visiting Lori and perusing her collection of table linens has rejuvenated my own interest in making a better effort to set a nice table for my family. She has always believed in making her dinner guests feel special.

“I want to present my home in the best light possible. Just like the perfect outfit can make a great first impression, table linens can make your family and guests feel like you were expecting them, and their presence makes every day a special occasion.”

Lori’s tips for table linens

For a casual dining setting a tablecloth should have an overhang of at least 8 inches. For a formal setting the overhang could be anywhere from 15 inches to all the way to the floor.
Napkinfoldingguide.com is a website that has instructions and pictures on how to fold cloth napkins.

Use a rod in your walk-in pantry or hall closet to hold hangers filled with tablecloths. This keeps tablecloths from getting wrinkled.

If your collection of napkins is small, keep them rolled up and upright in a basket on the counter near the table. They will be decorative as well as close at hand.

Keep napkin rings in drawers with dividers, much like how you would store jewelry.
Store vinyl or plastic placemats in the same upright cupboard as you store your cookie sheets. When they are no longer used to protect your nice linens, use them as cutting boards. They can easily be washed in the dishwasher.

Don’t be intimidated by table linens. If you have never collected linens, start with one set of at least four place settings of coordinating mats, napkins, and napkin rings that can be easily maintained by laundering or wiping clean. They are widely available at many price points.