
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Before you call me crazy, hear me out

Thursday, June 18, 2009
More unpaid endorsements
Monday, June 15, 2009
A sign of the apocalypse...

Friday, June 12, 2009
Forget diamonds. Photo editing is a girl's best friend!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Heaven and hell embodied in two gorgeous machines

Monday, June 1, 2009
The Goffice

For weeks I've been working on my laptop in different corners of the house. This weekend I finally set up my new digs in the guest room. I now call it, "The Goffice."
I bought a new desk and chair and moved it into the guest room next to my parents ancient bedroom furniture.
Deciding on the furniture arrangement was not easy. I knew I wanted my desk next to the window so I could





Saturday, May 30, 2009
I'm only going to say this once.
But, my position is this: I think government should get out of the marriage business. Government should issue civil unions to everyone, gay or straight. Let churches perform marriages.
Gays pay taxes in this country they should have equal rights under the law.
By issuing civil unions to everyone, government still collects its $$, which is all it really cares about, and everyone is treated fairly.
By leaving marriages up to churches, marriage is put back where it belongs. I believe marriage is a religious ordinance, such as baptism or communion. Marriage, to me, is a promise between man, woman, and God. The State of Caleefornya, where my license was issued, does not validate or invalidate my love or covenant to my husband. We do.
By leaving marriage up to churches, that still doesn't exclude gays. There are churches out there will "marry" gay couples.
Under my plan: Gays are treated equally. Gubment still gets your $$. And marriage becomes a religious ordinance again and not a legal right. Everyone is happy!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Living with Secret Agent Man

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Anniethology on Idol: Finale Recap via Facebook Comments

Annie Clark Payne at 7:44pm May 20
I didn't like that Keith Urban song until Kris sang it! That was a great duet!
Voices Carrie at 7:52pm May 20
Fergie's legs are like buttah!!
Pedaling at 7:53pm May 20
i'm behind you in my viewing- just watching norm right now- we started the show late so we could skip through the commercials- but i'll catch up- no worries. keep your commentary coming! oh, now it latifa
Annie Clark Payne at 7:57pm May 20
Bikini Ho got a boob job!
Annie Clark Payne at 7:58pm May 20
Won't fill the hole in your soul, Honey!
Voices Carrie at 7:59pm May 20
Kara! You go girl! Who knew she could sing?
Annie Clark Payne at 7:59pm May 20
Kara comes out and my son says, "Who's that?" Exactly.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:00pm May 20
Flashing the audience won't save your job now, Kara Dio-nobody-cares-what-you-think.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:02pm May 20
"Time After Time" that's our song!
B. at 8:02pm May 20
Mmmmm....Keith Urban.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:03pm May 20
I'm so glad Allyson didn't ruin this song for me. Secret Agent Man and I would have to pick a new song.
Voices Carrie at 8:05pm May 20
Keith a Kris too much cuteness to behold my eyes hurt!
B. at 8:06pm May 20
I haven't started watching yet...maybe I should do so before Hoss gets home from his bus-trip. Maybe it'll make me Hot for Hoss.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:10pm May 20
Danny and Lionel Richie an a surprisingly good combo. (Standing up and dancing like Paula.)
Voices Carrie at 8:11pm May 20
Loved it! I would buy the CD for sure.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:13pm May 20
Then I rewound it and danced again.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:18pm May 20
Adam and Kiss. They must read my blog.
Pedaling at 8:19pm May 20
kiss- looks like the macheen is for real!
Annie Clark Payne at 8:21pm May 20
I'm glad that song is over. Why do I feel like I need to repent?
Voices Carrie at 8:21pm May 20
Kiss on American Idol? Isn't that a sign of the Apocalypse?
Annie Clark Payne at 8:23pm May 20
Get your peanut butter!!!I can't watch TV without a remote, DVR, a laptop, and a Diet Coke.
Voices Carrie at 8:27pm May 20
Carlos!!
Annie Clark Payne at 8:28pm May 20
Carlos Santana: Guitar solos make me sleepy. The carbotose coming over me from the cookies isn't helping either. It's the Idol Crack Choir, again.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:29pm May 20
Another perfectly good song jacked up!
Voices Carrie at 8:30pm May 20
I love me some Santana! Idol Crack Choir, not so much.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:33pm May 20
"I was born a poor black boy." This must be a lowlight for Steve Martin's career.
Voices Carrie at 8:34pm May 20
What's with Steve Martin and all the banjo playin'?!
Annie Clark Payne at 8:40pm May 20
Anoop would have a stellar career in Bollywood.
Voices Carrie at 8:40pm May 20
OH NO just when you thought it couldn't get any worse!
Annie Clark Payne at 8:42pm May 20
Both Kiss and Rod scared me as a kid. Kiss for obvious reasons. Rod, I think because to a little kid he sounds like he is about to die.
Voices Carrie at 8:42pm May 20
Poor old Rod Stewart almost biffed it...did you see it?
Annie Clark Payne at 8:45pm May 20
I thought it was an awkward little Mega Joy shuffle.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:47pm May 20
I'm going to be Tatiana for Halloween.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:49pm May 20
Please God let Whitney come out. Please Dear God!
Voices Carrie at 8:49pm May 20
and I'll be Norman Gentle.
Annie Clark Payne at 8:49pm May 20
Idol will never be big enough for Whitney.
Voices Carrie at 8:51pm May 20
Whitney will never be sober enough for Idol.
Voices Carrie at 8:53pm May 20
Finally I've been waiting all season for Adam to sing Queen!!
Annie Clark Payne at 8:57pm May 20
HA! Thanks everybody! You've been a great audience. The Clark Sisters will be here all week!
Voices Carrie at 9:00pm May 20
SYTYCD starts tomorrow yay!!!
Annie Clark Payne at 9:02pm May 20
Woooohoooo!!!!!
Voices Carrie at 9:02pm May 20
NO WAY!!
Annie Clark Payne at 9:03pm May 20
I've finally picked a winner!!!!
Annie Clark Payne at 9:03pm May 20
It's hard being right.
Voices Carrie at 9:05pm May 20
Wow! I was hoping but I didn't think he would win!
Pedaling at 9:08pm May 20
i am so happy-even if i did find a an hour ago...still really really happy!
Voices Carrie at 9:09pm May 20
Stupid DVR cut off in the middle of his song
Annie Clark Payne at 9:10pm May 20
Thanks for not ruining it for me, Pedaling.
Voices Carrie at 9:26pm May 20
El Jefe came home and we're watching it all over again
Friday, May 15, 2009
"Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Installment 4: Done without permission

Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Mother's Day gift that keeps on giving

This morning after finishing my Mother's Day Omelette, lovingly prepared by Secret Agent Man:
Me: Why is this lunch meat in the trash?
Him: Because it's old.
Me: Is that the same ham that was in my omelette?
Him: Maybe.
Me: Did you just give me diarrhea for Mother's Day?!
Him: We'll find out in a couple hours.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 9
Friday, May 1, 2009
Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 3
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 2


Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 1



Tibs has always reminded me of Christina Applegate.
If you go to MorphThing.com and combine Tibs and Christina, this is what you get!
Christina should be so lucky.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Turning blog buddies into IRL friends!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Domestic Diva, Lazy Lady of Leisure or somewhere in between; What kind of housekeeper are you?

Gentle readers, you don’t have to take a bunch of online quizzes to find out who you are. If you forget, I’ll tell you. That’s what friends are for. I’ve created my own quiz to help you assess your attitudes toward keeping house.
Now, men, don’t feel slighted if I’ve left you out of the loop. I know there are many of you that do your share around the house. If it makes you feel any better you can come over to my house and make bread and fold laundry. But you can’t use my Dyson. Then what would I do for fun?
How would you characterize your cleaning routine?
A. It’s a top priority. Nothing else happens until the house is in order. Certain chores are done on specific days.
B. I clean when I have time and when company is coming over.
C. Love me, love my mess.
Which answer best describes your attitude towards laundry?
A. I pre-treat stains. I fold promptly. I never let ironing or laundry sit.
B. I have a regular laundry day.
C. I get dressed out of the dryer.
How would you characterize your feeling on household cleaners?
A. I’ve tested and compared several different cleaners. I’ve settled on what works best, regardless of the price.
B. I buy whatever is on sale, regardless of whether I know it works or not.
C. I use Windex on everything.
Which answer best describes your attitude towards your bed?
A. I make my bed first thing in the morning. I arrange each of my fifteen pillows with tender loving care. I vacuum my mattress. I regularly launder and iron my sheets. For an extra bit of luxury, I use a lavender spray on my pillows to help me relax at bedtime.
B. My bed serves more for function than fashion. I wash my sheets regularly and flip the mattress when I remember. I’ve been known to fold and stack clean laundry on my bed. I might skip making my bed on the weekends.
C. My greatest joy is to eat in bed. If there is laundry on my bed when it’s time to sleep, I just climb under the clothes. Another name for my bed is “couch,” because I watch TV there, too. I don’t usually make my bed, because I might want to get back in it in a couple of hours.
Which answer best describes your attitude toward your floor?
A. I have a “Hawaiian-style” home. All shoes come off at the door.
B. I’ll ask people to take off their shoes if I just swept, vacuumed, or mopped. I don’t ask my guests take off their shoes. I don’t want to embarrass them in case they have holes in their socks.
C. I don’t ask people to remove their shoes. They may need them to protect their feet from what’s on my floor!
How would you describe the division of responsibilities when it comes to household chores?
A. If you want it done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.
B. I do most of the work around the house, but leave the least desirable chores to the kids. Isn’t that what we have them for?
C. Hey, if it bothers you, you can clean it up!

Domestic Diva – There’s not a mess that you can’t handle. No stain goes untreated. No pillow goes un-fluffed. You are the type of housekeeper that others envy. You make it look so easy.
As much as your cleanliness is to be commended, don’t forget the reason you do it: You do it for the benefit of the people that live and visit there. Ditch the plastic covering on the furniture. Take time off from dusting the back of switch plates to spend some more with the ones you love. You’ll never see a gravestone that reads, “I wish my house were cleaner.”
If you answered mostly B, you are a:
Middle of the Road Molly- Congratulations! You are average! You understand the importance of keeping a tidy home, but you don’t let it run your life. Your house is clean, when it needs to be. You like an orderly home, but won’t sacrifice time with family or friends to do it.
Perhaps, now, it might be time to step up your game. Asking for more help and setting regular routines will help you have more order in your home. Be proactive when it comes to cleaning your house, focus on maintaining instead of waiting to clean until it’s messy again. This will help you to avoid the mad dash of pick up and put away when friends phone to say they are five minutes away.
If you answered mostly C, you are a:
Lazy Lady of Leisure – Girl, youz got some `splaining to do! Oprah isn’t going to come to your rescue. You’ve got to dig your own self out of this one. Your house didn’t get that way overnight. It’s going to take some time to get it in order.
Start with small steps. If you can’t tackle a whole room, start with the flat surfaces, like the countertops or tabletops. Purge all the garbage, sort what is left, and then assign it a home. Enlist the help of others in the household. It didn’t get messy on its own and it won’t get cleaned on its own, work together to create and maintain a well-kept home. A messy home not only drains your energy, but it could also make you sick. You very well could end up with a gravestone that reads,
“I wish my house were cleaner.”
Good Mail Girls: End of an era?

(Sorry for the crummy picture. Santa is a big fat liar.)
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Easter, International Holiday of Mystery

One of the greatest mysteries of Easter is the mystery of my favorite Easter candy, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg. Why does it taste better than the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? They are both made by the same company. They are both made with peanut butter and chocolate, so why the difference?
Then, there is the mystery of how to boil the eggs. Why is it that I can never remember how long it takes to boil an egg? Every year we dye the eggs and I have to look up how to boil an egg on the Internet.
Not mysterious enough? Here’s another one. Why is it that they only put one metal egg dipper in the Easter egg coloring kit? Don’t they know that the average American family has 3.18 kids? Why not 3.18 dippers per box?
Because that’s how they get ya, that’s why! If you want 3.18 of those ingeniously designed egg dippers, you’re going to have to buy 3.18 boxes of egg coloring. And you know you have to, because spoons just don’t work as well. You just can’t dye eggs without those dippers!
Here is something you can do without, that annoying, green, fake grass that goes in the Easter baskets. That stuff gets everywhere! It’s like finding sand in your underwear days after you’ve been to the beach. Every year I end up cleaning up little strands of Easter grass until Independence Day.
Speaking of Independence Day, every year we know that Independence Day will be on the fourth of July, no fail. But, Easter changes from year to year. Why is that? This is a mystery that actually has an answer. According to the all-knowing Wiki;
“Easter falls at some point between late March and late April each year, following the cycle of the moon. After several centuries of disagreement, all churches accepted the computation of the Alexandrian Church, now the Coptic church, that Easter is the first Sunday after the first fourteenth day of the moon (the Paschal full moon) that is on or after March 21st (the ecclesiastical spring, or vernal, equinox)…” blah, blah, blah. Clear as egg yolk?
Although Easter Sunday changes from year to year, I never miss watching "The Ten Commandments." What is the mystery in that? The mystery is this: How is it that year after year Yule Brenner just keeps getting sexier? I love it when he says, “Moses and the Hebrews think they can out-wise my fathah.”
Mini Me has an Easter mystery of her own. She can’t figure out why I'll pay fifteen bucks to have her picture taken with a stranger in a Santa suit, but I won’t pay to have her picture taken with a stranger in a Bunny suit. What can I say? The bunny creeps me out a little. The one at our mall needs a new costume. He looks like he has mange.
Oh, there are many things that are mysterious about Easter, but probably the biggest mystery of all is why the Easter Bunny brings eggs? Bunnies don’t lay eggs, chickens lay eggs. Shouldn’t an Easter Chicken bring eggs? The Easter Bunny should bring, um…Easter Pellets?
Yeah… never mind. Let’s just stick with the eggs.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Black and White Easter Egg Tree, a.k.a. A good use for an old vase.



In case we are not friends on Facebook (yet) and you haven't seen my outdoor Easter Egg Tree, here it is! Say "hello" to our little birdie mascot, too (We are into birdie mascots at the House of Payne). He/She has no name, yet. I'm taking suggestions.

Later that day....more fun with black eggs and old vases.

I decorated the eggs with colored chalk and used friendly-to-the-environment shredded paper instead of plastic Easter grass.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Anniethology Spring Cleaning, Stage 1: Purging

Friday, April 3, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
You are never ready for this.
About 45 minutes earlier, my phone rang at 3:30 a.m. It stopped before I got to it. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller id.
“Someone drunk dialed,” I thought.
I was almost back to sleep when it rang again. This time the call was coming from my parent’s house. It was my mom.
“Annie, I don’t want you to panic, but the ambulance just took your dad to the hospital.”
I hung up and went for the closet.
“What do you wear at 4’o clock in the morning to the hospital?”
I was panicked, I was scared, and I didn’t know what to wear. I paced back and forth a few times in the closet before I pulled myself together enough to reach for an argyle sweater and pair of jeans.
I started making phone calls in the car on the way to my mom’s to pick her up; my sister in New Castle, first, then my brother. I decided to wait to call my sister in Boston. Not much she could do from there.
Mom was waiting at the door when I got to her house. On the way to hospital she told me that dad woke up with chest pains, numbness in his left arm, and shortness of breath, all the classic signs of a heart attack. He took an aspirin then he woke up my mom.
By the time we got to the cardiac unit, Dad was already wearing a light green hospital gown with tubes and wires as accessories. I’d seen him like this a couple years before in the emergency room, when a dog in the back of a truck reached out and took a chunk out of his arm as he passed it in a parking lot.
My older brother, on the other hand, had never seen my dad looking so vulnerable. I could see it on his face, my brother was scared. I’m sure all the times dad had rescued us ran through his mind. Now it was my dad’s turn to be rescued.
Before 10 a.m., my mom, brother, sister, brother-in-law and I surrounded my dad’s hospital bed. We thought that we were being strong. We thought that we were doing a good job of hiding our fear and concern. I knew it made him uncomfortable to have us all staring at him like that, but-true to form-my dad talked and joked with us to show us that he was going to be okay.
The worst of it seemed to be over by the time he got to the hospital. He felt so much better that he began to regret going. By mid-day it looked as if dad would be staying overnight, just as a precaution.
Mom and I headed home for a nap. I didn’t make it all the way up to my room. I just took off my shoes and lay down on the couch.
Less than an hour later, my tearful mom was on the phone again. The blood tests confirmed that he, indeed, had a heart attack and the doctor wanted to do an angioplasty as soon as possible.
This time I didn’t stop to consider my appearance.
My mom and I didn’t say much on the way back to the hospital. I knew I should talk to her. I knew I should say something. I knew I shouldn’t let her sit there and cry and stew over what could happen, but I didn’t know what to say. I begrudged being the youngest at that moment. My older sister in Boston would be much better suited for supporting my mom when she needed it the most.
I said the only thing I could think of. I told mom that we couldn’t let dad see us scared. He was going to be scared enough without having to worry about us. I said it more for me than for her.
We had just a few minutes to talk to him before they came to take him down for what would be an hour- long procedure.
I wonder if doctors ever get tired of people thanking them. I wonder if saving lives eventually becomes passé. When the doctor came in the waiting room to tell her how the procedure went, my mom thanked him as if he had just given her a hundred Christmas presents with a hundred shiny red bows. My dad - got a brand new stint in the front of his heart to keep his artery open.
Later that night, Mom, Dad, and I watched “Dancing with the Stars” together in his hospital room. That jilted bachelorette turned out to be really good. Dad had to lie really still for the next few hours, some of the longest of his life.
His life. Dad’s life.
My dad didn’t die on March 16th.
The time for fear is over. Now, it’s just a time for gratitude. So, to celebrate my dad’s life, we had a barbeque. We called it the “Barbeque-not-a-Funeral-Barbeque.”
Dad had chicken.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
My wish list



These knobs from Anthropologie.

This candle from k. hall designs.
And these Jessica Simpson pumps.