Sunday, June 28, 2009

Before you call me crazy, hear me out


Now, there are people out there who still believe that Elvis is alive, but if there is anyone who could and would pull off a back-from-the-dead event, it would be Michael Jackson.
Think about it.
He had the means and the motivation and just enough of the wackadoo to do it.
What better way to prepare for and promote his upcoming world tour than to remind us all of why we were fans to begin with? Come on, honestly, when was the last time you cared about Michael Jackson? When was the last time you listened to a M.J. cd, cassette, or album before this past week? I don't care who you are, everyone was a Michael Jackson fan at some point in their lives. Now, just remember when M.J. sightings start happening...you read it here first.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

More unpaid endorsements

Thelma and Louise, my new washer and dryer (scroll down to witness their beauty one more time) need a friend!
I still love this stuff. Sprayway! Secret Agent Man and I agree that it smells great.

These things are saving my sanity.

Monday, June 15, 2009

A sign of the apocalypse...

...the National Organization for Women and Joy Behar side with Sarah Palin?!


Click here for the full story. Joy Behar agreed this morning on The Vi*w.
I need to rethink everything I know to be true.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Forget diamonds. Photo editing is a girl's best friend!


Let no unhallowed picture go unedited. I took this picture myself, sitting at my desk. I don't know why I haven't waved the magic wand over my pics before, but I tell you this, now and forever, I'll never post another picture without giving it the old bibitty-bobbity-boo first!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Heaven and hell embodied in two gorgeous machines

I understand the kind of obsession some men feel over their machines. Click here
to read my latest Home and Garden article.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Goffice

For a couple of years Secret Agent Man and I co-existed happily in the same office. When his super secrety responsibilities changed from Ops Analyst to Acquisitions, it became clear that he would need a little more space and privacy. If you are sneaky enough to catch a glimpse of his computer screen, what at first glance may seem like a harmless material requisition is actually missile launch codes, doomsday scenarios, and other state secrets.
For weeks I've been working on my laptop in different corners of the house. This weekend I finally set up my new digs in the guest room. I now call it, "The Goffice."
I bought a new desk and chair and moved it into the guest room next to my parents ancient bedroom furniture.
Deciding on the furniture arrangement was not easy. I knew I wanted my desk next to the window so I could spy on people in the park enjoy the beautiful view of the neighborhood park. In order to do that, perfect placement had to be compromised (Note the bed partially blocking the closet door). But, all in all, I am really happy with the result. I'm just waiting on a few accessories to arrive to finish the look. So if you come through my park, give me a wave and I'll tweet about what you are wearing and if you cleaned up after your dog.

Dear Santa, Whatever happened to the camera I asked for? Haven't I been good? Do you see the crummy pictures I have to put up with?




Saturday, May 30, 2009

I'm only going to say this once.

Prop 8 was in the news again this week. The Supreme Court of California upheld the proposition. As well it should. Regardless of what the prop is about, the voters decided. It is done.
But, my position is this: I think government should get out of the marriage business. Government should issue civil unions to everyone, gay or straight. Let churches perform marriages.
Gays pay taxes in this country they should have equal rights under the law.
By issuing civil unions to everyone, government still collects its $$, which is all it really cares about, and everyone is treated fairly.
By leaving marriages up to churches, marriage is put back where it belongs. I believe marriage is a religious ordinance, such as baptism or communion. Marriage, to me, is a promise between man, woman, and God. The State of Caleefornya, where my license was issued, does not validate or invalidate my love or covenant to my husband. We do.
By leaving marriage up to churches, that still doesn't exclude gays. There are churches out there will "marry" gay couples.
Under my plan: Gays are treated equally. Gubment still gets your $$. And marriage becomes a religious ordinance again and not a legal right. Everyone is happy!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Really?!


Really, how can these both be "french cut?"

Friday, May 22, 2009

Living with Secret Agent Man


Secret Agent Man was the best guy I ever dated. That's why I married him. He fit all the qualifications: Tall, tall, and tall.

We took a real leap of faith marrrying each other. We were penpals for two years, but only had been together in the same place, er country, for two weeks before we were engaged. Three short months later we started our life together in a small ranch-style home on a culdesac backed up to the 10 Freeway in Covina, California.

Since then we have grown, matured, and developed in our rolls roles as husband and wife. But, he seems to have hogged all the good characteristics for himself. He's freaky smart, physically strong, good with money, socially acceptable and now he wants to add... funny.

He tries really hard to be funny. Almost too hard. If I want to see that guy fill to the brim with pride, all I have to do is laugh at one of his jokes.

I don't want him to be funny, though. He got all the other good characteristcs. Why can't he leave "good sense of humor" for me?

He asks, "But, Honey, can't we both be funny?"

See what I mean?! Freaky smart that man is.
No, we can't both be funny. I'm the funny one in this relationship and I like it like that.

Don't misunderstand me. The man has short comings, which I am more than willing to point out. When he does something I don't like, he'll hear,

"My next husband won't forget to take out the garbage."
"My next husband will notice when I am wearing something new."

"My next husband won't ask me to turn in receipts for a two dollar burrito."

And to this his response is,

"I gotta meet this guy!"

Okay, I give...he is the funny one.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Anniethology on Idol: Finale Recap via Facebook Comments

Annie Clark Payne: I used to like that Jason Mraz song before the Idol Crack Choir sang it!

Annie Clark Payne at 7:44pm May 20
I didn't like that Keith Urban song until Kris sang it! That was a great duet!

Voices Carrie at 7:52pm May 20
Fergie's legs are like buttah!!

Pedaling at 7:53pm May 20
i'm behind you in my viewing- just watching norm right now- we started the show late so we could skip through the commercials- but i'll catch up- no worries. keep your commentary coming! oh, now it latifa

Annie Clark Payne at 7:57pm May 20
Bikini Ho got a boob job!

Annie Clark Payne at 7:58pm May 20
Won't fill the hole in your soul, Honey!

Voices Carrie at 7:59pm May 20
Kara! You go girl! Who knew she could sing?

Annie Clark Payne at 7:59pm May 20
Kara comes out and my son says, "Who's that?" Exactly.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:00pm May 20
Flashing the audience won't save your job now, Kara Dio-nobody-cares-what-you-think.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:02pm May 20
"Time After Time" that's our song!

B. at 8:02pm May 20
Mmmmm....Keith Urban.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:03pm May 20
I'm so glad Allyson didn't ruin this song for me. Secret Agent Man and I would have to pick a new song.

Voices Carrie at 8:05pm May 20
Keith a Kris too much cuteness to behold my eyes hurt!

B. at 8:06pm May 20
I haven't started watching yet...maybe I should do so before Hoss gets home from his bus-trip. Maybe it'll make me Hot for Hoss.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:10pm May 20
Danny and Lionel Richie an a surprisingly good combo. (Standing up and dancing like Paula.)

Voices Carrie at 8:11pm May 20
Loved it! I would buy the CD for sure.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:13pm May 20
Then I rewound it and danced again.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:18pm May 20
Adam and Kiss. They must read my blog.

Pedaling at 8:19pm May 20
kiss- looks like the macheen is for real!

Annie Clark Payne at 8:21pm May 20
I'm glad that song is over. Why do I feel like I need to repent?

Voices Carrie at 8:21pm May 20
Kiss on American Idol? Isn't that a sign of the Apocalypse?

Annie Clark Payne at 8:23pm May 20
Get your peanut butter!!!I can't watch TV without a remote, DVR, a laptop, and a Diet Coke.

Voices Carrie at 8:27pm May 20
Carlos!!

Annie Clark Payne at 8:28pm May 20
Carlos Santana: Guitar solos make me sleepy. The carbotose coming over me from the cookies isn't helping either. It's the Idol Crack Choir, again.


"Idol Crack Choir and I don't care. Idol Crack Choir and I don't care. Idol Crack Choir and I don't care. They're talent's gone away."

Annie Clark Payne at 8:29pm May 20
Another perfectly good song jacked up!

Voices Carrie at 8:30pm May 20
I love me some Santana! Idol Crack Choir, not so much.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:33pm May 20
"I was born a poor black boy." This must be a lowlight for Steve Martin's career.


Megan Joy was this year's Sanjaya!

Voices Carrie at 8:34pm May 20
What's with Steve Martin and all the banjo playin'?!

Annie Clark Payne at 8:40pm May 20
Anoop would have a stellar career in Bollywood.

Voices Carrie at 8:40pm May 20
OH NO just when you thought it couldn't get any worse!

Annie Clark Payne at 8:42pm May 20
Both Kiss and Rod scared me as a kid. Kiss for obvious reasons. Rod, I think because to a little kid he sounds like he is about to die.

Voices Carrie at 8:42pm May 20
Poor old Rod Stewart almost biffed it...did you see it?

Annie Clark Payne at 8:45pm May 20
I thought it was an awkward little Mega Joy shuffle.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:47pm May 20
I'm going to be Tatiana for Halloween.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:49pm May 20
Please God let Whitney come out. Please Dear God!

Voices Carrie at 8:49pm May 20
and I'll be Norman Gentle.

Annie Clark Payne at 8:49pm May 20
Idol will never be big enough for Whitney.

Voices Carrie at 8:51pm May 20
Whitney will never be sober enough for Idol.

Voices Carrie at 8:53pm May 20
Finally I've been waiting all season for Adam to sing Queen!!

Annie Clark Payne at 8:57pm May 20
HA! Thanks everybody! You've been a great audience. The Clark Sisters will be here all week!

Voices Carrie at 9:00pm May 20
SYTYCD starts tomorrow yay!!!

Annie Clark Payne at 9:02pm May 20
Woooohoooo!!!!!

Voices Carrie at 9:02pm May 20
NO WAY!!

Annie Clark Payne at 9:03pm May 20
I've finally picked a winner!!!!

Annie Clark Payne at 9:03pm May 20
It's hard being right.

Voices Carrie at 9:05pm May 20
Wow! I was hoping but I didn't think he would win!

Pedaling at 9:08pm May 20
i am so happy-even if i did find a an hour ago...still really really happy!

Voices Carrie at 9:09pm May 20
Stupid DVR cut off in the middle of his song

Annie Clark Payne at 9:10pm May 20
Thanks for not ruining it for me, Pedaling.

Voices Carrie at 9:26pm May 20
El Jefe came home and we're watching it all over again


Annie Clark Payne at 9:27 May 20


We lost the presidency, but won American Idol! Vindicated!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

"Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Installment 4: Done without permission


This installment of "Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" is done without permission. Doh! I just couldn't help myself. Everytime I see Stacey's profile pic on Facebook, I think, "Ashley Judd."
I just had to put her picture through the "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Macheen to find the origins of her patriarchy. And wouldn't you know it...patriarchy = Patrick Duffy.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Mother's Day gift that keeps on giving

Secret Agent Man has never been much for giving gifts. I accept this about him. There are things that he accepts about me, too. But, he's never tried to kill me before.



This morning after finishing my Mother's Day Omelette, lovingly prepared by Secret Agent Man:

Me: Why is this lunch meat in the trash?

Him: Because it's old.

Me: Is that the same ham that was in my omelette?

Him: Maybe.

Me: Did you just give me diarrhea for Mother's Day?!

Him: We'll find out in a couple hours.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 9

Rupaul + Kiss = Adam Lambert making his mother proud!
I'm going to have to sanitize the "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Macheen after this one. It's wheezing and sputtering. It must have a virus or a communicable disease.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 3

is a new blogging friend for me. I feel so lucky because I have already met her in real life. She is an amazing blogger. She updates regularly. She has some really funny stories, loves shoes, and posts lots of pictures of her fun, fabulous life.
Of all the things I envy about her, I think it's her blog title I envy most of all, "That's What She Said." That's it. That's the name of her blog, "That's What She Said." I'm an idiot for not thinking of it first.
Sometimes when The Macheen cannot find a suitable resemblance, it opts for the essence of the person, hence Cesar. Melissa loves dogs. Cesar loves dogs. Melissa loves to run. Cesar loves to run with his dogs.

Frances Fisher (Titanic mom) + Cesar Millan = Melissa

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 2



It takes a certain amount of bravery and perhaps even brain damage to offer oneself up as a guinea pig to the "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" DNA Macheen.


It looks as if The Macheen was feeling particularly happy today. Could anyone out there more lucky than to have the genetically blessed pair of Ted McGinley and Christie Brinkley as the DNA matches?!

Now, I've met Lauren's true DNA donators and they are just as attractive as Christie and Ted. I would even venture to say, perhaps even more so, because not only are they good-lookin' people, but they are also good people. And by good, I mean great!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Blogger, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Installment 1


Per Tiburon's request,
"What do I have to pay you to do one of this for the Tibster?"
I put her picture through the "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" DNA Macheen. I cannot be held responsible for what comes out. The Macheen has a mind of its own.
Ed Begely Jr. + Bonnie Hunt + Hotness + Charisma = Tibs


Tibs has always reminded me of Christina Applegate.

If you go to MorphThing.com and combine Tibs and Christina, this is what you get!

Christina should be so lucky.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 8

Greg Proops + Sally Field = Danny Gokey


I'm the long-lost Shue sibling! Do you think my sibs will share the "Karate Kid" or "Melrose Place" residuals with me?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Turning blog buddies into IRL friends!

I love these ladies!
When I started blogging over three years ago, I did it because I had a lot of ideas that I needed to get out of my head. I didn't anticipate that I would make bloggy buddies and then eventually meet them in person, making them "In Real Life" friends.
I'm really tired and I should be packing, but I wanted to say that although my posts have been few and far between lately, I love blogging. I love the friendships that I have been able to cultivate through blogging and I look forward to 3+ more years.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Domestic Diva, Lazy Lady of Leisure or somewhere in between; What kind of housekeeper are you?


The inspiration for this week’s Home and Garden article came from Facebook. If you don’t know what Facebook is, I’m sure you know people who do. It seems like everyone is joining the Internet social networking scene, lately. A popular pastime of Facebookers, aside from sharing photos and messages with family and friends, is taking quizzes.

Gentle readers, you don’t have to take a bunch of online quizzes to find out who you are. If you forget, I’ll tell you. That’s what friends are for. I’ve created my own quiz to help you assess your attitudes toward keeping house.

Now, men, don’t feel slighted if I’ve left you out of the loop. I know there are many of you that do your share around the house. If it makes you feel any better you can come over to my house and make bread and fold laundry. But you can’t use my Dyson. Then what would I do for fun?

How would you characterize your cleaning routine?

A. It’s a top priority. Nothing else happens until the house is in order. Certain chores are done on specific days.
B. I clean when I have time and when company is coming over.
C. Love me, love my mess.

Which answer best describes your attitude towards laundry?

A. I pre-treat stains. I fold promptly. I never let ironing or laundry sit.
B. I have a regular laundry day.
C. I get dressed out of the dryer.

How would you characterize your feeling on household cleaners?

A. I’ve tested and compared several different cleaners. I’ve settled on what works best, regardless of the price.
B. I buy whatever is on sale, regardless of whether I know it works or not.
C. I use Windex on everything.

Which answer best describes your attitude towards your bed?

A. I make my bed first thing in the morning. I arrange each of my fifteen pillows with tender loving care. I vacuum my mattress. I regularly launder and iron my sheets. For an extra bit of luxury, I use a lavender spray on my pillows to help me relax at bedtime.
B. My bed serves more for function than fashion. I wash my sheets regularly and flip the mattress when I remember. I’ve been known to fold and stack clean laundry on my bed. I might skip making my bed on the weekends.
C. My greatest joy is to eat in bed. If there is laundry on my bed when it’s time to sleep, I just climb under the clothes. Another name for my bed is “couch,” because I watch TV there, too. I don’t usually make my bed, because I might want to get back in it in a couple of hours.

Which answer best describes your attitude toward your floor?

A. I have a “Hawaiian-style” home. All shoes come off at the door.
B. I’ll ask people to take off their shoes if I just swept, vacuumed, or mopped. I don’t ask my guests take off their shoes. I don’t want to embarrass them in case they have holes in their socks.
C. I don’t ask people to remove their shoes. They may need them to protect their feet from what’s on my floor!

How would you describe the division of responsibilities when it comes to household chores?

A. If you want it done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.
B. I do most of the work around the house, but leave the least desirable chores to the kids. Isn’t that what we have them for?
C. Hey, if it bothers you, you can clean it up!


If you answered mostly A, you are a:

Domestic Diva – There’s not a mess that you can’t handle. No stain goes untreated. No pillow goes un-fluffed. You are the type of housekeeper that others envy. You make it look so easy.
As much as your cleanliness is to be commended, don’t forget the reason you do it: You do it for the benefit of the people that live and visit there. Ditch the plastic covering on the furniture. Take time off from dusting the back of switch plates to spend some more with the ones you love. You’ll never see a gravestone that reads, “I wish my house were cleaner.”

If you answered mostly B, you are a:

Middle of the Road Molly- Congratulations! You are average! You understand the importance of keeping a tidy home, but you don’t let it run your life. Your house is clean, when it needs to be. You like an orderly home, but won’t sacrifice time with family or friends to do it.
Perhaps, now, it might be time to step up your game. Asking for more help and setting regular routines will help you have more order in your home. Be proactive when it comes to cleaning your house, focus on maintaining instead of waiting to clean until it’s messy again. This will help you to avoid the mad dash of pick up and put away when friends phone to say they are five minutes away.

If you answered mostly C, you are a:

Lazy Lady of Leisure – Girl, youz got some `splaining to do! Oprah isn’t going to come to your rescue. You’ve got to dig your own self out of this one. Your house didn’t get that way overnight. It’s going to take some time to get it in order.
Start with small steps. If you can’t tackle a whole room, start with the flat surfaces, like the countertops or tabletops. Purge all the garbage, sort what is left, and then assign it a home. Enlist the help of others in the household. It didn’t get messy on its own and it won’t get cleaned on its own, work together to create and maintain a well-kept home. A messy home not only drains your energy, but it could also make you sick. You very well could end up with a gravestone that reads,
“I wish my house were cleaner.”

Good Mail Girls: End of an era?

First of all, thank you (you know who you are) for brightening my day with these
Easter goodies.

(Sorry for the crummy picture. Santa is a big fat liar.)



I've been considering deleting the Good Mail Girls blog. I think interest has wained a bit. I would keep it open if the participants wanted me to.
The above is the only Good Mail I've received in awhile, but like I always say, "If you want to get, you've got to give." I admit to not giving in awhile, too.
So, all my GMG's let me know what you think. Delete or no delete?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter, International Holiday of Mystery


Christmas is the most anticipated holiday, Halloween is the spookiest, but Easter is the most mysterious. Easter is shrouded in questions, some of them have answers some of them do not.

One of the greatest mysteries of Easter is the mystery of my favorite Easter candy, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg. Why does it taste better than the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? They are both made by the same company. They are both made with peanut butter and chocolate, so why the difference?

Then, there is the mystery of how to boil the eggs. Why is it that I can never remember how long it takes to boil an egg? Every year we dye the eggs and I have to look up how to boil an egg on the Internet.

Not mysterious enough? Here’s another one. Why is it that they only put one metal egg dipper in the Easter egg coloring kit? Don’t they know that the average American family has 3.18 kids? Why not 3.18 dippers per box?

Because that’s how they get ya, that’s why! If you want 3.18 of those ingeniously designed egg dippers, you’re going to have to buy 3.18 boxes of egg coloring. And you know you have to, because spoons just don’t work as well. You just can’t dye eggs without those dippers!

Here is something you can do without, that annoying, green, fake grass that goes in the Easter baskets. That stuff gets everywhere! It’s like finding sand in your underwear days after you’ve been to the beach. Every year I end up cleaning up little strands of Easter grass until Independence Day.

Speaking of Independence Day, every year we know that Independence Day will be on the fourth of July, no fail. But, Easter changes from year to year. Why is that? This is a mystery that actually has an answer. According to the all-knowing Wiki;

“Easter falls at some point between late March and late April each year, following the cycle of the moon. After several centuries of disagreement, all churches accepted the computation of the Alexandrian Church, now the Coptic church, that Easter is the first Sunday after the first fourteenth day of the moon (the Paschal full moon) that is on or after March 21st (the ecclesiastical spring, or vernal, equinox)…” blah, blah, blah. Clear as egg yolk?

Although Easter Sunday changes from year to year, I never miss watching "The Ten Commandments." What is the mystery in that? The mystery is this: How is it that year after year Yule Brenner just keeps getting sexier? I love it when he says, “Moses and the Hebrews think they can out-wise my fathah.”

Mini Me has an Easter mystery of her own. She can’t figure out why I'll pay fifteen bucks to have her picture taken with a stranger in a Santa suit, but I won’t pay to have her picture taken with a stranger in a Bunny suit. What can I say? The bunny creeps me out a little. The one at our mall needs a new costume. He looks like he has mange.

Oh, there are many things that are mysterious about Easter, but probably the biggest mystery of all is why the Easter Bunny brings eggs? Bunnies don’t lay eggs, chickens lay eggs. Shouldn’t an Easter Chicken bring eggs? The Easter Bunny should bring, um…Easter Pellets?

Yeah… never mind. Let’s just stick with the eggs.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Black and White Easter Egg Tree, a.k.a. A good use for an old vase.







This was such a joy, honestly, a joy for me to make. Not only did I make use of a much appreciated, but under used vase, I also got to spray paint! I am a little addicted to black spray paint. I will show you more evidence of that later.




In case we are not friends on Facebook (yet) and you haven't seen my outdoor Easter Egg Tree, here it is! Say "hello" to our little birdie mascot, too (We are into birdie mascots at the House of Payne). He/She has no name, yet. I'm taking suggestions.






Later that day....more fun with black eggs and old vases.


I decorated the eggs with colored chalk and used friendly-to-the-environment shredded paper instead of plastic Easter grass.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Anniethology Spring Cleaning, Stage 1: Purging


I've been thinking a lot about excess. When is enough stuff, enough? I often feel like I spend my day as a slave to my things. Moving them from one place to another. I know there is a better way to live. I know that if I can live more simply, I'll have more room, time and energy to focus on the things that really matter. (I laugh at myself. I get so Zen when I talk about my home.)

I wasn't planning on doing this today. I was busy cleaning the kitchen when I tried to throw something away under my sink and realized that the cabinet door wasn't closing. I pulled the trash can out to see what was back there and found nine vases! Nine vases! When am I ever going to use NINE vases?

I'm not going to go crazy. I'm not going to throw all of them out, but definitely most of them have to go. Then I am going to find a new home for them other than under my kitchen sink.
I'll keep the red and green vases. And the vase with the wrought iron base. I'm also going to keep the clear, square vase, because it's from Aubrey and I love her. The other generic clear vases are going to go away.

How many vases do you have? Do you save them? Do you use them? Where do you store them? Do you have any creative ideas for their use besides holding fresh flowers?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

You are never ready for this.

My brother said it happened just like he thought it would. The news would come by an early morning phone call from me.
About 45 minutes earlier, my phone rang at 3:30 a.m. It stopped before I got to it. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller id.
“Someone drunk dialed,” I thought.
I was almost back to sleep when it rang again. This time the call was coming from my parent’s house. It was my mom.
“Annie, I don’t want you to panic, but the ambulance just took your dad to the hospital.”
I hung up and went for the closet.
“What do you wear at 4’o clock in the morning to the hospital?”
I was panicked, I was scared, and I didn’t know what to wear. I paced back and forth a few times in the closet before I pulled myself together enough to reach for an argyle sweater and pair of jeans.
I started making phone calls in the car on the way to my mom’s to pick her up; my sister in New Castle, first, then my brother. I decided to wait to call my sister in Boston. Not much she could do from there.
Mom was waiting at the door when I got to her house. On the way to hospital she told me that dad woke up with chest pains, numbness in his left arm, and shortness of breath, all the classic signs of a heart attack. He took an aspirin then he woke up my mom.
By the time we got to the cardiac unit, Dad was already wearing a light green hospital gown with tubes and wires as accessories. I’d seen him like this a couple years before in the emergency room, when a dog in the back of a truck reached out and took a chunk out of his arm as he passed it in a parking lot.
My older brother, on the other hand, had never seen my dad looking so vulnerable. I could see it on his face, my brother was scared. I’m sure all the times dad had rescued us ran through his mind. Now it was my dad’s turn to be rescued.
Before 10 a.m., my mom, brother, sister, brother-in-law and I surrounded my dad’s hospital bed. We thought that we were being strong. We thought that we were doing a good job of hiding our fear and concern. I knew it made him uncomfortable to have us all staring at him like that, but-true to form-my dad talked and joked with us to show us that he was going to be okay.
The worst of it seemed to be over by the time he got to the hospital. He felt so much better that he began to regret going. By mid-day it looked as if dad would be staying overnight, just as a precaution.
Mom and I headed home for a nap. I didn’t make it all the way up to my room. I just took off my shoes and lay down on the couch.
Less than an hour later, my tearful mom was on the phone again. The blood tests confirmed that he, indeed, had a heart attack and the doctor wanted to do an angioplasty as soon as possible.
This time I didn’t stop to consider my appearance.
My mom and I didn’t say much on the way back to the hospital. I knew I should talk to her. I knew I should say something. I knew I shouldn’t let her sit there and cry and stew over what could happen, but I didn’t know what to say. I begrudged being the youngest at that moment. My older sister in Boston would be much better suited for supporting my mom when she needed it the most.
I said the only thing I could think of. I told mom that we couldn’t let dad see us scared. He was going to be scared enough without having to worry about us. I said it more for me than for her.
We had just a few minutes to talk to him before they came to take him down for what would be an hour- long procedure.
I wonder if doctors ever get tired of people thanking them. I wonder if saving lives eventually becomes passé. When the doctor came in the waiting room to tell her how the procedure went, my mom thanked him as if he had just given her a hundred Christmas presents with a hundred shiny red bows. My dad - got a brand new stint in the front of his heart to keep his artery open.
Later that night, Mom, Dad, and I watched “Dancing with the Stars” together in his hospital room. That jilted bachelorette turned out to be really good. Dad had to lie really still for the next few hours, some of the longest of his life.
His life. Dad’s life.
My dad didn’t die on March 16th.
The time for fear is over. Now, it’s just a time for gratitude. So, to celebrate my dad’s life, we had a barbeque. We called it the “Barbeque-not-a-Funeral-Barbeque.”
Dad had chicken.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 6




The Wicked Witch of the West + Mermista from the She-Ra cartoon =

Adam Lambert on Halloween.

Friday, March 20, 2009

My wish list

I have a file folder in my favorites called, "Mama's Wish List." Here is a sample of the items found therein:







Chrome Stainless Steel Exhaust Tips enhance your vehicles appearance & dual exhaust system helps provide looks and increased performance. Chrome tip slips over your existing exhaust pipe and secures with a fastener, adding extra street smarts to your vehicle.




A t-shirt that says this!



These knobs from Anthropologie.




This candle from k. hall designs.


And these Jessica Simpson pumps.