Note to self

Don't go to the grocery store after watching "Losing it with Jillian." Made me feel like a crummy mother buying Cocoa Puffs for my kids.

Jillian is amazing. This week she tried to change the Yavapai Apache Nation.

Jillian raised the frybread over her head and told the people,

"This is not food, it's poison!"

And she threw the frybread in the trash.

At first the elders were very upset, but then they realized she was just trying to help.

Lady Gaga covering all her "Bases."

Fun time waster

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

Keeping kids busy during the summer

“Who cut their hair on the couch?”
“Why does the dog have one blue paw?”
“Where did all the kitchen chairs go?”
These and many more questions like these are not a good way to start summer vacation.
My experience as a mother of three children, including twins, has taught me that it’s easy to entertain a child, but not so easy to keep them busy. Allow me to explain the difference.
It’s easy to put on a movie for your toddler or allow your tween all the computer time they want to keep them occupied or from destroying the house. On the other hand, it takes more effort to give them opportunities to grow and develop into independent, well-rounded, active, self-sufficient young people.
It wasn’t without difficulty, but I taught my preschoolers to help around the house. I involved them in my daily chores: folding towels, mopping floors, preparing meals, etcetera.
I had to let go of some of the perfectionism. The towels weren’t always folded to my liking. The floors sometimes needed to be re-mopped, but I wanted them to learn that they weren’t too little to be an active part of the upkeep of our home and that it wasn’t all mommies job.
I’m now reaping the benefits of their early training. I have three children who are helpful, compliant, and carry-out household tasks with little to no whining.
Here are a few of my tips for keeping children actively engaged in things that will benefit themselves and the family:
Early to bed, early to rise, even in the summer
Allowing your children to set their own sleeping schedule in the summer, doesn’t do anything for them in the long run. If anything it will teach them to be disappointed adults. Sleeping-in isn’t a regular part of any productive adult’s life.
Even though it’s summer, our regular wake-up call has only been pushed back by a half-an-hour and a decent bedtime is still enforced. Everyone still enjoys a full eight hours and nobody sleeps the day away.
Fun first, then play? Really?
We’ve adjusted our schedule so that the kids aren’t helping around the house during the cooler hours of the day and then refusing to go out to play when it the temperature climbs, thus spending the whole day inside the house.
Instead, we eat breakfast and then play outside or exercise, which for kids is one in the same.
When it gets hotter outside, that’s when we do chores inside. As it begins to cool off later in the day, the chores are finished and everyone can do as the please. It may sound like putting the cart before the horse, but it’s worked for us.
Let them know what is expected and what they can expect
When Secret Agent Man decodes sensitive documents or protects State secrets, he gets a pay check.
I want my kids understand that if want something , just like dad, they have to earn it.
On a daily basis, my kids know it’s their job to take care of the pets, unload the dishwasher, set the table, and maintain the cleanliness of their bedrooms and bathroom. On top of that, each day I give them a list of other things to do around the house.
Just like a real job, the completion of everything that is expected is met with a payment. Sometimes it’s money or trips to the pool, or extra time to play video games or watch TV.
It would be easier to let them be free-range children over the summer and do whatever they feel like doing, after all, “they’re just kids.” But, then how will they ever learn the value of time, self-reliance, and how to be an asset, instead of a liability?
I think it’s worth the extra effort especially if it will help avoid more couch haircuts.

Best Bachelorette Recap on the net

I couldn't have written it better myself. So I didn't, Amanda of "It's Blogworthy" did. Comedy gold right there my friends. Clickety here to read the Bachelorette bloggy goodness.

Blogging `bout The Bachelorette

I love summer tv. A new installement of the Bachelor franchise of shows is one of the reasons. I have yet to be real excited about this season though. The other Bachelorettes seemed genuinely heart-broken after their seasons and eager for another chance at love. I have the feeling that Ali got exactly what she wanted out of her time with Jake...her own show.

Well, I think you get what you give and her bachelors all seem to be gunning for second place. Can you blame them? Three to six months of a fake engagement or your own show? Hmmm. Not that tough of a choice.

Tonight's episode featured front-runner for his own show, Frank. Frank lives with his folks, runs a retail store, probably A.E., and looks better with his glasses. Ali and Frank went from zero to ninety before the first commercial break. Ever heard of taking things slow? No time for that in make believe tv land.

Then there was confrontation between the weatherman, Jonathan, a.k.a. The Mouse and Craig, The Weasel. The mouse isn't just any mouse. He is a marginally-adorable mouse that has a cane and a hat and sometimes says clever things, sometimes. But, mostly he sounds scared to death of the Weasel.

The Weasel is evil. The kind of evil that he must practice at being that evil. Perhaps he stays awake at night planning how evil he can be or perhaps evil justs comes to him naturally.

The Weasel also looks a lot like Tori Spelling's husband, Dean. Who is also a weasel. Remember the whole cheated on his wife and two kids with Tori, while she was also married? I do, obviously. Not only do they look alike and share some weaselly tendencies, but they are also both from Canada. No disrespect to my Canadian friends. I'll say it before and I'll say it again, I've never met a Canadian I didn't like. I'm just pointing out their similar origins.

Ali dismissed her weasel after the mouse told her that he was "dangerous." But my question is,

"Who is more dangerous? The weasel that you can see coming, or the weasel that sneaks up on you?"

Apparently, Ali thought the weasel she could see coming, but I am sure their are more stealth-like weasels that will emerge as the summer weeks roll on.

¡Ay Chihuahua! Making room for new family pet

As seen in the Home and Garden section of The Daily Sentinel, May29, 2010

I broke one of the cardinal rules of marriage. Don’t get a new pet while your spouse it out of town.
But this little Chihuahua-Mini Pincher literally walked right into my life.
I was at a friend’s house checking out the Taj Majal of playhouses they had just erected in their backyard, when in through the open gate walked this little doggie. She looked friendly, but nervous as most Chihuahuas do.
My friend didn’t want a thing to do with it because dogs give her the sneezes. So I scooped it up and did a quick casing of the neighborhood to see if I could find the owner.
When that effort became fruitless, I took it back to my house and called the number for animal services on its license.
The time it took to track down the owner was short, but it was enough time for the kids and I to already feel a little attached to it. Its big, helpless, dark eyes had me at “hello.”
Mini Me accompanied me on our trip back to the owner’s. Apparently, it hadn’t been on the lamb for long, the owner said it had just eaten dinner and must have squeezed through the fence. Then she told me that she was actually just caring for the dog for a friend until she could find it a good home. Then she said, “Do you want it?”
Mini Me and I chimed in unison, “Yes!”
No sooner did the reply come out of my mouth did I realize that Secret Agent Man wasn’t going to be too keen on this. But you know the old adage, “Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission.”
The doggie’s caretaker told me that “Suzi” is already house-trained, spayed, and vaccinated. She also came with food, toys, a bed, a kennel, and clothes.
The kids and I kept the new addition to our family a secret from Secret Agent Man until he came home the next night.
When we picked him up the airport with Suzi in tow, the first thing he said was, “Whose dog is this?”
The kids intoned, “It’s ours!”
“No really,” he said, “who does it belong to?”
And so the love story began. We’ve had little Suzi for over two weeks now and she has adjusted well to Secret Agent Man, the kids, and our other dog. But she still needs to make nice with the Dyson. In time I’m sure they’ll get along too.


Tips from iVillage.com on how to acclimate your new pet to its new life and home
As soon as you get it home, return your pet to its daily feeding and exercise schedule. Place their bed and bowls in similar location to their former home, while they acclimate to their new space.

When introducing your pet to new humans, place the animal in a sit/stay position and ask the human allow your dog to sniff them prior to being petted. Ask them to avoid direct eye contact and speak in a positive, pleasant voice when addressing the dog. If possible, have them reward the animal with its favorite treat.

If your pet is having a problem barking/meowing excessively, confine your pet to a crate or room. The bedroom is usually best and will be most comforting to the animal.

Take a few days off work to pay extra attention to your pet. It will adjust more quickly and feel comfortable in its new home.

Allow your pet to exercise and eliminate before you leave home. Create a soothing atmosphere. Dim the lights, put on soft music and leave out your pet's favorite toy. Never make a big deal about going out.

Call an animal behavior specialist if your pet seems to be having a problem adjusting to their new home or engages in destructive behavior.

Paynes on a roll

Click the pic to biggify the pithy captions.

Picture Perfect: A master photographer's tips for displaying your captured memories

As seen in May 15th's edition of the Home & Garden section of The Daily Sentinel

Picture Perfect: A Master Photographer’s tips for displaying your captured memories

My walls are too bare. At least that’s what my older sister told me. The same sentiment was echoed by my feng shui practitioner, and then confirmed by my good friend and master photographer, (That is her job title. She has a masters in photography.) Kelli McCall.



Even after living in my current home for six years, it still pains me to put any nails, screws, or hooks in the walls. It feels like I am putting a hole in my very own soul. But when three ladies, whose opinion I value, all told me the same thing, if figured they had to be right.

So I asked Kelli to give me her advice on how to get my family pictures out of the drawer and on to the walls where they belong. She took me on a field trip to her mom’s house to show me some of the photographs that she has taken over the years for her mom and how they have displayed them in interesting ways.

Here is Kelli’s advice:



Framing
When choosing the perfect frame, keep in mind that the frame molding generally should not be wider than the main subject in the picture. For example, if the subject’s head is two inches wide the frame should be no wider than two inches. This will ensure that the portrait will be what you focus on and not the frame.



Wall Placement
The portraits on your wall should hang at standing eye level. This will allow people to enjoy them without straining to see them.

If displaying more than one picture, display an odd number of pictures to create an art piece. Then group them in ways that tell a story or share a similar theme, like senior pictures or baby’s first Easter. Don’t hang dad’s fishing pictures, next to grandma’s wedding photo.



Choosing Clothing
If a wall portrait is what you have in mind, first consider where you want hang it or display it in your home. Then choose your outfit for the photo shoot according to the color scheme of that space. Remember that the people are more important than the outfit, so dress in solid colors so the focus will go to the faces instead of clothing.



Walls aren’t the only place for photographs
Coffee tables and shelves are perfect display points for smaller photographs. Make your groupings interesting by adding other decorative items like, candles, plants, and figurines, still keeping in mind the rule of odd numbers.

Matting, the frame within a frame
Matting your photographs can do a lot to enhance the look of the picture. Choose a mat color from a color in the photograph that will compliment the picture.
When you want to fill a larger space, mat your print up a size. For instance, if you have a 5x7 photograph, choose an 8X10 mat and frame.

Let them know they are loved
Did you know that displaying pictures of your children increases their self esteem? A child who sees himself in a wall portrait will undoubtedly know how much they mean to you. The most precious and unique artwork you could ever find is a portrait of those you love. Capture those moments that will tug at your heart and display them as artwork. What better décor for your home than portraits that are personal and unique.

Armed with some great advice and inspiration, my walls will be less bare and have more flare. It may mean that I have a few more holes in my "soul,” but at least they will be nicely covered by pictures of my favorite people and memories.

To find out more about master photographer, Kelli McCall, and her services check out her website keljphotography.com.

Where did May 11th go?

It's not over yet, but it's nearly over.
I can't remember what I've done.
It started early, that much I remember.
I made two breakfasts. Pancakes for Secret Agent Man and the kids.
Eggs and bacon for me.
I've changed my status on Facebook a couple times.
Washed and coiffed my hair.
Couldn't decide what to wear because Spring is having an identity crisis.
Took Secret Agent Man to the airport. Where he goes? Nobody knows.
Had something with bacon in it for lunch, the new Taco Bell Tortada.
"That stuff is not food!" Can it, Jillian! I don't want to hear it.
I wore a hoodie.
If you left a black hoodie at my house. I have worn it to paint trim on my friend's house
and now I've worn it to tie-dye shirts with 5th graders.
I don't think you are going to want it back.
Things I am looking forward to for the rest of the day:
Pajamas and
American Idol.

Click here to read a blog post that actually took some thought and effort.

A special Mother's Day edition: "Diva, Whooz ur Mama?!"

One table, One Family: Passionate about Family Dinners

Click here to read my latest column at Gjsentinel.com

"...even on the occasional night when we have pizza delivered, I still lure my family from the four corners of the house to share a meal at the kitchen table."

To whom it may concern

I received a very nice e-mail the other day from a woman in Montrose. She wrote to compliment me on my column and to encourage me to continue on. I just had three years of e-mail mysteriously disappear from my inbox, so I didn't get a chance to write back and say "thank you." So, dear reader, lovely lady from Montrose, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I don't get a lot of feedback, so when it comes, it is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood columnist

American "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?!" Tim Urban

Adam Lambert, a slice of the Richard Marx pie?

Upcoming American Idol Theme Night: Idols sing with the Muppets

You can't tell me that you wouldn't tune in to watch that.










And as an extra special treat...Beaker will cohost with Ryan!

Television Gold right there, my friends.

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 9 Siobhan Magnus

El Macheen es en fuego!

The resemblance is undeniable to say the very least. The hair, the accessories, the ability to unhook their bottom jaw to hit the money note. Not only that, but if you scramble the letters in "Sanjaya" and "Sheena Easton" it spells "Siobhan Magnus!" Incredible.

I never get tired of being right.

I awoke this morning with the urge to take my family on a hike; back to one of our favorite trails that has gone neglected during the cold winter months. It was not easy convincing my kids to leave the comfort of their pajamas, overflowing bowls of cereal, and tight schedule of cartoons and video games, for a morning of fresh air and physical exertion. I explained to them that we needed to go now, while the snow is melting. There would be a stream of run-off flowing right down the middle of our trail and they would love to see it. Unmoved by my glowing endorsement, I finally said,

"Listen, I do a lot of stuff for you that I don't want to do, so you are going to do this for me even though you don't want to. That's how we show our love for each other," delivered with "crazy mom" eyes and flared nostrils, it could not be challenged nor denied.

Mere minutes later as we are reaching the top of the hike, the boys could hear the water running. They were so excited they started running. "Mom, Mom can you hear that?! It's the water, Mom." Yes, babies, I know.

As you can see from the pics, a good time was had by all. I never get tired of being right.

American Idol's, "Battle of the Borrowed Jackets."

And the winner is... Brian Fellow's

"That hippo is crazy."

"Idol, Whooz ur daddy?!" Season 9 Andrew Garcia

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"

...but we earned them anyway. My boys were awarded their Webelo badges last night. Their Arrow of Light is just some First Aid and a couple of camp-outs away. I'm a proud den mother.

Before my boys were born, I didn't think about what it would be like to be a mother to boys. But after three years of cub scouting, managing a soccer team, coaching a basketball team, and more conversations about Pokem*n, Digim*n, and Bakug*n than I would care to have...I can tell you that being a mother to boys is wonderful. I cry on my keyboard thinking about how proud I am of them. As they inch closer and closer to being taller than me, I grow in respect and awe of the kind of young men they are becoming.

A brownie badge for anyone who can tell me where the title quote comes from.

Feelin' Lucky

I'm feeling lucky that the Catholics don't mind sharing their holidays with the rest of the world. They're givers.

I'm feeling lucky that my pink and green argyle sweater still fits and is even a little big.

I'm feeling lucky that I am wearing flipflops for the first time this year and my toenails have a little bit of sparkle.

I'm feeling lucky that I have a sweet neighbor that sends me flowers.

I'm feeling lucky that I have a wonderful friend that sends me funny cards. You know who you are and I love ya lots.

I'm feeling lucky that Secret Agent Man turned his nose up at my green eggs and ham and I didn't hafta share.

An open letter to Cold Stone Creamery

UPDATE: I just received confirmation from my Stat Counting services that Cold Stone Creamery in Scotsdale, AZ has read my open letter. If you start seeing more tables and chairs, you have me to thank. I'll accept gift certificates.

Dear Cold Stone,

Get more seating.

For Realsies,

Annie

Put on these stinky shoes and put your fingers in these holes where other peoples fingers have been.

I can't stand bowling, but I love my kids. So, when Mini Me asked if we could go bowling for her birthday, I put on my big girl pants and went. It may look like I am having a good time in the pictures, but I'm not. I'm just good a faking it.

After bowling we went to Coldstone Creamery. My complaint about this place is that they don't have enough seating for you to sit down and enjoy the ice cream you patiently waited in line for and then spent what you would pay for 3 Blizzards to get. I was more than halfway finished when I we finally got to sit down so close to the table next to us that I could smell the malodorousness of the patron next to me. Ahhh..nothing like the combo of sweat and strawberries and an exciting game of booowling.

Celebrating 4 years and 2 days of blogging without obligation

My four year blogiversary came and went without me noticing. Darn you, Facebook!

I just went back and read some of my posts from the Hot Fruita Mom days. For those of you who have been a follower since then, I am sorry to have wasted your time.

Two blogger parties, a handful of meet-and-greets, and a Home and Garden column later, my blogging habits have changed. I post less, I comment less. Again, darn you Facebook!

I don't know how much longer blogging will be a part of my life. I have trails to hike and laundry to fold and parties to plan. Sometimes I feel like sharing my exploits and sometimes I don't.

If I make it to year five, we will just have to see.

Stupid wives and the husbands that deceive them

My B.S. Meter overheated when I saw this sorry couple on Oprah. I think they are both liars that were seduced by money and power and when it all got flushed down the proverbial crapper, they decided to cash-in by writing a tell-all. They are not guiltless, they are not victims. They are vipers, plain and simple. And they gross me out. Don't buy their book.

Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Season 9 Haeley Vaughn

I certainly hope Haeley doesn't go home tonight. But just in case, I thought I'd run her through The Macheen. It looks like The Macheen was kind. What an awesome honor to have the possible parentage of Miss Niecy "Clean House" Nash and the cre-a-tor of the most popular tag line of the 1970s.

Who does what in your house?

His, Hers, and Ours

Who does what in your house?

Thirteen years ago tomorrow, on a beautiful warm day in San Diego, Secret Agent Man and I, joined our lives together as husband and wife.



Every day since, we have marched lock-step together on our journey through life, work, home, and family.



Before we were married we talked about the kind of life we wanted together. He knew my life’s ambition was to be a wife and mother. I wanted to take full responsibility for the proper care and feeding of him and our children and the upkeep our home. That was our understanding and that was our plan. Then…the twins were born.



What I assumed would be a one woman show turned into a tag team effort to keep our baby boys fed, diapered, burped, and bathed.



By the time our daughter, “Mini Me” came along, Secret Agent Man and I settled into our traditional roles of provider and homemaker. He brought home the bacon and I fried it up in a pan.



Being a single-income family is not easy. We’ve had to make sacrifices and endure lean times in order for me to be at home.



Between the travel, intrigue, and third world dictator toppling, Secret Agent Man works long hours. I never complain. I consider it a blessing to have a husband that loves to work. I like going out to dinner, I like buying a new pair a shoes, and I’m not going to complain about how he provides those things for me.



I try to make it easy for him to do his job by doing mine. I’ve taken cues from my hero, Jaqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis,



"I think the best thing I can do is to be a distraction. A husband lives and breathes his work all day long. If he comes home to more table thumping, how can the poor man ever relax?"



We have a clear understanding of what each of us will do around the house. He doesn’t know how to start the washing machine and I don’t know how to start the lawnmower and that’s the way we like it.



No matter what your situation is everyone who lives in the house needs to have responsibilities for its upkeep.



In a family where both the mom and dad are winning the bread, there needs to be equity in the household responsibilities.



Some of the working moms I know will do the cooking and shopping, while dad and kids do the cleaning and laundry.



Kid’s responsibilities could include: feeding the pets, cleaning their own rooms and bathrooms, and helping with the dishes.



At our house, everyone pitches in and cleans the kitchen after dinner. It’s a wonderful change from the time when I would make dinner; the family would take 15 minutes to snarf it down and then disperse to their different corners of the house. Now we are together more, the kitchen is cleaned quickly and the family has learned to appreciate me more.



Even the tiniest member of the family can help out. If a baby is old enough to dump out their toys, they are old enough to pick them up and put them back. It would be easier for mom to just pick up the toys herself, but teaching your children life-long habits of tidiness is worth the time and effort and they’ll be better husbands and wives for it.

If you are having trouble getting everyone to help out around the house, sometimes it’s just a matter asking for more help and making your expectations known. Chore charts, honey-do lists, and scheduled time for cleaning can help get everyone on the same page. Don’t forget to celebrate and relax together for a job well done.

Perhaps skip Hamburger Helper Night and go out to dinner, if you see us, don’t forget to wish us a Happy Anniversary.

Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?! Season 9 Lilly Scott

The Macheen is back in action for Season 9 of American Idol. This is the macheen that analyzes the contestants DNA to reveal their possible parentage. If you don't agree, don't be mad at me, The Macheen never lies. It has no reason to. Being analyzed by The Macheen is a great honor and part of the American Idol experience.

I think The Macheen was fair to Lilly Scott, fellow Coloradoan. There are worse things than having a super model and an albino as parents. She could be strapped to another macheen down in the Pit of Despair.

Division of household duties

I hope this doesn't look familiar to anyone.

I am writing about the division of responsibilites in the household for my next column.

Secret Agent Man and I are traditional when it comes to the division of household chores. He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan. HOw do you divvy up the responsibilites in your house?

Manifesting Spring

If I can imagine it, perhaps I'll let myself live.

Day after day of overcast, snow-covered dreariness has taken its toll on my upbeatedness.

I'm really tired of people telling me I look tired.

"Really? I thought I was looking cute today. Thanks for letting me know."

I'm going to manifest Spring into existence. I am going to imagine what it will look like. What I will do, what I will wear, and all the happy things of Spring and maybe, just maybe, I can stave off these winter gloomies long enough to see the day when a little color comes back into this drab, drab world.

I'm going to wear these whilest I ride my pink bike.

I'm gonna quit you...again.

I'm going to travel. Yes, those are my skinny legs and fabulous shoes.

I'm going to go back to my favorite hiking trail with these kids.

I'm going to convince this person to come visit me.




I'm going to poof flowers and not apologize for it.

A harmonious home is just one ancient Chinese secret away

Click here to read my latest article for The Daily Sentinel about my visit with Environment Specialist, Tammy Long, who uses her knowledge of Feng Shui to help people get more out of their home.

Mention this article and receive 25% off your initial 2-hour evaluation which includes a personal traits analysis for 2 plus a 2 hour on-sight evaluation of your home or business.

To contact Tammy, visit her website at http://www.asuitespace.com/

Because every chicken deserves to be happy

"Funky Chicken says what?!"

I bought cage-free eggs for the first time this week. I was influenced by the mega-marketing macheen which is Mother Oprah. She showed clips from a documentary Food Inc. which I had been interested in but hadn't Red Boxed it yet.




I felt sorry for the wee little chickens, in the dark, crowded together just to make me the most delicious breakfast known to womankind, that is the Sausage McMuffin with Egg. I don't' know if Mickey D's is on board with the whole cage-free thing, that won't stop me from ordering the S.M.E. but at least I can do my part at home.




I believe that everything on this Earth has a purpose and somethings purpose is just to get eaten. But, I don't want to make its sojourn here on Earth any longer or more painful just so I can buy eggs cheaper. If someone knows of a way to make my time on Earth a little better, I'd appreciate it if they would pay it forward, too. Nuf said.

Fan or copycat. You decide. "Things I am Too Old For"

Because I've never had an original thought, I blatantly stole the idea AND some of the answers for this post from my friend Tiburon (Yes, that is her real name and it means "shark" in Spanish. No her parents weren't hippies, although they did live in San Fran, and yes they do love her.) and she apparently stole the idea from someone else. But, as they say imitation is a form of flattery and I copy because I love. Without further adieu...

Things I am Too Old For

Sleeping on the floor

Wearing a swimsuit without shorts or a skirt

Passing for a 20-something

Blue eyeliner

Sleeping past 9 am

Staying up past midnight

Saying "dude" or "sucks"

Not washing my face before bed

Borrowing money from my folks

Wearing a backpack unless I'm hiking

Eating cereal more than once a day

Going braless

Going clubbing

Eating pizza more than once a day

Borrowing clothes from a friend, a sister is okay

Wear anything with writing on the butt

Not wearing sunblock

Playlands

Eating Taco Bell more than once a day

Hanging posters in my room

Keeping up with the Joneses (I am the Joneses)

Baby weight, now it's just plain old weight

Biting my nails

Not to floss

Glitter

Miniskirts

Macaroni and Cheese

Ramen

Soda with sugar

Orange soda

MTV

My Golden Globe Tweets. Consider yourself warned.

#goldenglobes are over. Just in time tynleol pmmmmm m kicken n. about 22 hours ago
James Cameron says "Give it up for yourselves." Yay me!!! #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
Linda Hamilton must be eating her heart out right now. If she would have held on to James Cameron a few yrs longer couldve had more $$. about 22 hours ago
Didnt they used to break up the monotony of the awards with performances of the nominees for best song? I miss that. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
I think took ceramics from Jeff Bridges down at the rec center. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
I feel warm and fuzzy inside and cant hold my head up. about 22 hours ago
Its Lady Gaga without the get-up! #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
When Sandy wins its like we all win. #goldenglobes about 22 hours ago
Colored feathers. I broke NBC. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago

jdoiefiei;foeje;gjeiaj vv zzzzzzzzzzzzzz about 23 hours ago
Did he say butt nick? about 23 hours ago
Took a couple tylenol pmmm dont no how muchh longerrr i can tweeee... about 23 hours ago from web
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Just hand over the statue to Sue Sylvester. She makes Glee. #goldenglobes
The Area 51 scientist that was strangled by an alien on Independence Day was ressurected and made Avatar. #goldenglobes
Woohoo! The nineties finally coughed up one of its best actresses, Jodi Foster! Good to see you again, Girl! #goldenglobes
I still see Leo as Gilbert Grape. Match in the gas tank. Boom-boom! #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Best Fake Laugh goes to Brenden Fraiser. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Best cleavage of the night goes to Halle Berryl. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Sue from Glee got the shaft. Watch out sister wife, youre about to board the Sue Slyvester Express...destination...HORROR. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
Worst cleavage of the night goes to Anna Pacquin. #goldenglobes about 23 hours ago
When I think of sexy secret agents. I think of my own Secret Agent Man. #goldenglobes

Alec Baldwin is at a charity event for the Human Fund. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago

Alert Peta! Drew Barrymore flash froze a couple hedgehogs and pinned them to her dress! #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago from web
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Kevin Bacon should win just for being named after the tastiest food ever. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago
Helen Miren is one gorgeous geriatric. #goldenglobes about 24 hours ago
Raise your hand if you saw Grey Gardens. (cricket cricket) Thought so. #goldenglobes 6:58 PM Jan 17th
Proof that American is getting dumber, Oscar Meyer no longer spells out its name in commercials. #goldenglobecommercials #goldenglobes 6:53 PM Jan 17th
Cher broke off a piece of herself, dipped it in hydrogen peroxide and created Christiana Aguilara. #goldenglobes 6:46 PM Jan 17th
There is no way Jane Krackowski can breath out of her nose.Janey Krack can & I dont care.Janey Krack can & I don't care... #goldenglobes 6:37 PM Jan 17th
Michael C. Hall and his lucky do-rag! #goldenglobes 6:35 PM Jan 17th
Felicity has never looked better. She has such a big heart too, she brought a homeless guy as her date. #goldenglobes 6:31 PM Jan 17th
Kate Hudson tried to hide her Haiti ribbon in the folds of her origami dress, but I see u, I see u Kate H. supporting Haiti. #goldenglobes 6:29 PM Jan 17th
Id be more impressed with those ribbons if the stars paid 50 thou a pop to wear them. #goldenglobes Haiti 6:25 PM Jan 17th
I hope John Lythgoe doesnt keep Kevin Bacon from dancing tonight. #goldenglobes 6:23 PM Jan 17th
John Lythgoes was creepier as the preacher that would let the town dance. #goldenglobes 6:20 PM Jan 17th
Miss Golden Globe is a knockout. Halle Berry who? #goldenglobes 6:17 PM Jan 17th
Member whens Toni Colette was fluffy? Dang she looks so good now. #goldenglobes 6:14 PM Jan 17th
Preach it Mo-mo! God is good. #goldenglobes 6:09 PM Jan 17th
Chinese babies are so 2009, I'm all about adopting Haitian babies.

The Five Virtues to a Healthy and Harmonious Bathroom

Click here to read my latest column on Confucius-style virtues to a better bathroom.

Journal entry of an aging housewife

Dear Diary,
Who am I kidding? I never kept a diary. I kept a journal (Is there a difference?). A faithful one at that, from the age of thirteen until I was married. I quit there. My quest for love ended, so I guess I felt there wasn't anything else worth reporting.
My journal is embarrassing to read, now. Just page after page of one toad after another. (Don't get all offended my former-toad stalkers, I wasn't anyone worth having until Secret Agent Man came along, either. I'm sure you all became the perfect mate for your spouses,too. Well, not all of you. I can think of a couple of you that are most likely still toads. You know who you are.)
Then, the kids came and I discovered scrapbooking as a way to keep the family history and keep my sanity. But, all the paper and scissors and mess that comes with scrapbooking took over my kitchen table and I opted to feed my family instead of document them.
Then along came the Internets. Oh Lawd, thank you and thank Father Al. I love my blog, Facebook and Twitter (Hugs and kisses all ya'alls!).
Today, is my birthday. I have a life that celebrities wish for. A faithful and adoring husband, cute kids, including twins, (They all want twins. JLo, I had them first.) great friends and a little writing career that helps me keep my perspective on life; especially the things in life that seem never-ending like: dirty dishes, laundry, dog hair, pimples and wrinkles on the same face, devotion to good causes, loyalty to friends and above all... love of God and Family.
Happy Birthday to Me.

What a way to start a New Year!

It's our family tradition to go sledding on Jan. 1. My sister has a "private and exclusive" sledding hill behind her neighborhood. Conditions couldn't have been more excellent for a fun snow day.

Clickety here to see the video of our sledding party!

How to take down your decorations:10 tips for de-decorating after Christmas

Pull it down, pack it up, and put it away. 10 tips for de-decorating your house after Christmas

The bad news is Christmas is over. The good news is that the decorations will come down faster than they went up. Here are some tips on how to pull it down, pack it up, and put it away:

1. The day after Christmas is not too soon to start de-decorating, especially if you have a real tree, time may be of the essence. Valentine’s Day is too late. New Year’s Day, is just about right for people who want to start the New Year off fresh.

2. Upgrade all your storage containers. If you are still using the same cardboard box, year after year, it’s time to start storing in plastic bins. Consider purchasing them in red and green to easily distinguish them from your other storage bins. You’ll know exactly which ones to pull down next year.

3. If possible, return your ornaments, lights, villages, and nativity sets to their original packaging. The Styrofoam and plastic trays will protect them from damage.

4. If you have lost the original packaging for your lights. Take the time to neatly wind them back up and secure them in a rubber band, masking tape, or a twist tie. If you have lost the original packaging for your ornaments, consider purchasing an ornament organizer. They are plastic boxes with individual slots. It’s well worth the investment if you plan on using your ornaments year after year. If new storage options are not in your after-Christmas budget, shoe boxes and crumpled newspapers will do just fine to cradle your shiny wares until next year.

5. Don’t let the little odds and ends linger loosely on the bottom of your bins. Keep all the extra ornament hooks, replacement light bulbs, and adhesive backed -wall mounted hooks in a clear plastic baggie. You won’t want to scrounge around for them later.

6. Tired of your old decorations? Ready to switch your traditional red and green ornaments for purple and silver next year? Cull any decorations you don’t think you will use again. Consider doing an ornament swap with friends and family. Toss what is damaged. Donate the rest.

7. Think about how you want to group your decorations for storage. Is it more convenient to store them by room i.e., “Entryway décor,” or by like items, “Garland and Greenery?” There is no right or wrong way. It’s whatever makes the most sense to you.

8. Has your Christmas tree box taken a beating? Is it getting harder and harder to re-tape the thing year after year? Buy stretch wrap. It’s like a giant roll of plastic wrap. Stretch wrap reinforces the box and protects your tree from damage. No more taping and re-taping because the stretch wrap adheres to itself. One roll will last years. It can be purchased locally at Grainger for between fifteen to 20 dollars per roll depending on width and thickness. Stretch wrap can also be found at other shipping supply stores.

9. When you are doing your after-Christmas returning /shopping, you will find some great deals on marked-down decorations, be sure you have enough storage for the incoming items.

10. Label each box and store with the label facing out. If you are an over-achiever, an itemized list of what is inside may save you time later.

The good news is that after following these tips, your decorations are organized and safely stored until next year. Put up your feet and enjoy some hot chocolate. The bad news is Christmas is still 364 days away.

Merry Christmas from Anniethology

From the snow of Mt. Baldy to the sand of Newport Beach. Merry Christmas to my faithful readers. Wish you were here!!

Tiger Woods, you gone and done a bad, bad thing

I'm not going to say that I am surprised. Fidelity isn't a common attribute among professional athletes, but I would say that I am disappointed. Most men, like him, you see coming from a mile away, but Tiger, you wouldn't expect it of him and that makes him even more dangerous. But this is what happens, my ladies, when a man gets too successful and too rich. He starts to think the rules don't apply to him. That's why I like my men po' and humble. Secret Agent Man is too busy to bother with another woman and he couldn't afford another woman anyway, I make sure of that. If he has a twenty in his wallet, I'll take it. Don't want him getting the idea that he can take someone else out to Taco Bell for lunch. Keep him broke, keep him humble, keep him home. Broke, humble, home. Nuf said.
And, I don't believe for one minute that she had no idea what was going on. I think it only became a problem for her when the rest of the world knew about it. I'm not judging. If I was married to a billionaire, I could turn a blind eye, too. Don't judge me. Don't feel sorry for these celebs and rich folk, they don't marry for love anyway. You know they don't. It's all about (ahem) the class and power that money can buy. It's the kids, the kids I feel sorry for. They have a sorry excuse for a father and that is sad. A big bag of money will keep mommy warm at night,but money can't replace what those kids are going to miss out on.

What does your Christmas tree say about you?

I have a rare talent. Some might call it a gift. Others, the more incredulous, call it a cheap party trick, but I have yet to meet anyone who can do what I do. I am a Christmas Tree Prognosticator. It’s sort of like reading palms. I can tell a lot about a person’s life and personality by their Christmas tree. Here’s a free sample:
Artificial or real
There are two types of people: Real Christmas tree people and artificial tree people. One is not better than the other, just different.
If you are a person who likes real trees you probably like the outdoors. You enjoy creating an ambience that invokes smell as well as sight. Real tree people feel that the experience of searching it out, chopping it down and dragging it back to the old homestead is all part of the fun.
If you like artificial trees, you like an investment that lasts. You want something pretty, but don’t want to make a lot of fuss. Artificial tree owners can also be perfectionists. They don’t like to deal with gaps in the branches or dropping needles of a real tree.
White lights or multi-colored lights
If you have white lights on your tree, you think of each light as a tiny star. White light people like simplicity. White lights convey the serenity of an “Oh, Holy Night.”
Conversely, multi-colored lights say, “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.” People who like multi-colored lights are party people. They like the festive feeling of multi-colored lights because it reminds them of a disco or Las Vegas. To them, the holidays are one big party and everyone is invited. And it wouldn’t be too far out of the realm of possibility that when the holiday party rolls around, they might even don a strand of multi-colored lights like it was gay apparel!
Matching or eclectic ornaments
If you have a tree with an eclectic assortment of ornaments, each one having a special meaning or story, you value your past and family history. Perhaps it’s the clothespin reindeer your first-born made in kindergarten or the delicate snowflake that Grandma crocheted. Each one is different, each one is special, they may not match, but it doesn’t matter to you.
The decoration of an eclectic tree is often a group effort. Some will hang the ornaments; others will string popcorn and cranberries together. Even the littlest elves in the house will take part in decorating the eclectic tree.
A matchy-matchy ornament tree is usually a one-woman (or man)-show; a person with a vision of what a perfectly coifed tree should look like. Matchy-matchy ornament people like order and consistency. They usually have a theme for their Christmas tree. Like Victorian, Old World, or country. For the matchy-matchy ornament people, the tree is the crowning glory, the pièce de résistance, of all the Christmas decorations.
Angel or star
Angel people believe in a higher power guiding their lives and directing their path. Angel people might have, at some point, imagined what it would have been like to be in that choir, as told of old, that sang to shepherds guarding their flocks by night that a babe was born in Bethlehem.
Star people are the hopefuls, the ones that hope for a better, brighter tomorrow. They are sign seekers. They lead their lives by, the sometimes imperceptible, directional arrows. Star people will follow that little nudge inside of them that says, “Take cookies to your neighbor (peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses on top),” or “slip a twenty into the bell ringer’s red bucket.”
That’s it. That’s all you get for your free sample. How did I do? Eerily close, eh? If you want a full Christmas Tree Prognostication, you’ll have to invite me to your holiday party. Don’t worry, I work cheap. You can pay me in cookies (peanut butter cookies with the chocolate kisses on top).

My Christmas Decorations

Peacock Pete, the mascot of our Christmas tree, with his vanity mirror. He's so vain, I bet he thinks this blog is about him.

Click on the pic to see it big time! Picture collage created in Picasa.

The reflection of the dining room chandelier in my heart mirror ornament.

I use mirrors at the base of the trees to reflect prettiness. I didn't use all the ornaments I'd used in previous years, so I put them in pretty stuff that holds other pretty stuff.





Peacock feather sticking out of the top of the tree.

Less than $5.00 chandelier decor. One strand of garland. Two strands of beads. 6 tassels and 10 or so poinsettias.

From the outside looking in. Garland and big jingle bells in the window boxes with fake frost on the windows.

You can buy "Peace" at Walgreens!

Dear Santa, I've been a really good girl this year. Please bring me a decent camera for Christmas so I can quit using my crummy camera phone. Thank you.