Nine years later, I'm glad I didn't make a run for it

Click here to read my latest column for the Charm page of The Daily Sentinel.

Christmas, Anniethology Style

I believe that whenever you are decorating it is good to have a theme. Something to focus your ideas, colors, and choices. This year I wanted to have a Florentine Christmas theme, as in Florence, Italy. Here are some pictures from whence I drew my inspiration.

Somehow I needed this theme to work with what I already had in my home. I decided to go with a non-trad color of roses to blend in the furniture. That coordinated the Florentine colors with the ones that already existed in the room.

The silk roses and ornaments came from Michaels. My favorite ornaments are the heart-shaped mirror ornaments. I wish I had more. The organza scarf on the banister was purchased at Real Deals Home Decor.

My Florentine Christmas theme even filtered into the type of bedroom furniture I chose. The furniture was purchased at Ashley Furniture. The ivory down comforter is from Herbergers and the embroidered sheets were on clearance at Kohls.

"Are you kidding me? It's ridiculous. Who lives here? The Pope?!"

Posting means admitting I'm home.

We had an excellent vacation. I can't believe it has been a week since my last post. I haven't taken a week off blogging since...well...ever. My blogging buddies may have seen me lurking around their blogs for a couple of days. I would have commented, but then I would have to post, and well, you know how it goes. Although I have been home since Sunday night, I have yet to unpack our suitcases. I couldn't make it a priority, I had a Christmas tree to decorate! (Pictures and decorating tips to come!)

While in Las Vegas the children met their maternal grandfather's idol. They took to him pretty well. They loved it when he called them little hound dogs!
I had a nice visit with No Cool Story and her Daily Hero in the lobby of our hotel. She was so nice to sit there and listen to me talk about myself for an hour. I love her so much!






(NCS and Annie not pictured.) :(

Also during our vacation I died and went to heaven. In case you didn't know, heaven is called Victoria Gardens in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. I went to Anthropologie and bought this...

Then we went to kid heaven, a place called John's Amazing Pizza Emporium and Puke Fest. Even though we shamelessly gorged ourselves, luckily, there was no puke to be had. Not even after the spicy peanut butter pizza and a few turns on the bumper cars. The steel-lined Payne stomachs prevailed again!

Despite newly sparked fires in the hills Malibu, as one reporter put it, "Where kids gather and build small campfires," (What? You can say b!?ch on TV but you can't say kegger?) our last day in la-la land looked like this...

So, now my California dreaming has come to an end and it's back to life as normal. Admitting your vacation is over can be a real kegger.

Bring on Thanksgiving!

It's taken us awhile, but we have finally done it. The last of the Halloween candy has finally been eaten. Bring on the turkey for the stuffing!

I'm going to be away from my computer for a few days. Our holidays travels will take us to California, via Las Vegas, where we will be meeting with the Queen of Teh Internets, No Cool Story. Can you believe it? Not even being aware of the other's travel plans we made reservations at hotels less than a mile away from each other! Try not to hate me because you are jealous.

I will not leave you completely Annie-less. Check out my Thanksgiving column on Thursday in *Charm* at gjsentinel.com, the website of The Daily Sentinel.

Have a great holiday!

The Hairy Legs Report

Our assignment at Mile High Mamas this week was to write about why we started blog and share one of our favorite posts. If you have been with me since the beginning, you may remember The Hairy Legs Report. If not, it's new to you! Clickety here to be shocked and amazed!

Anonymous Comment Day

I'm not above taking an idea and calling it my own, i.e. Good Mail. Just imagine that you are in the bathroom stall of your junior high. You have a black, permanent Sharpie and twenty minutes before the hall monitor comes looking for you.

Anniethology Upgrade/Downgrade

Upgrade: I'm wearing acrylic nails again for the first time since I was a single gal on the scene.
Downgrade: I can't open my own soda cans and more tyoza typos.

Upgrade: I have my milk delivered to my door in glass bottles.
Downgrade: Sometimes my order gets mixed up with Amy Payne's order and she drinks skim instead of whole. Amy, try the chocolate milk sometime. You can thank me later.

Upgrade: My new treadmill is now in working order.
Downgrade: Now I have to use it.

Upgrade: I've purchased a new bedroom set.
Downgrade: The delivery guys will only bring in the new set, they won't carry out the old set.

Upgrade: Secret Agent Man is home for a whole month.
Downgrade: He wants to be fed. Can you believe that? A hard-working man expects his stay-at-home mom/wife that he provides all these upgrades for to cook and clean for him? How dare he?!

Bring in the Professional: Dress Coat Edition

My sister, Lori, is a wardrobe consultant living in Boston. As a favor to me, she contributes quarterly, fashion-focused posts to my blog. Here is a special edition on the often over-looked wardrobe staple; the dress coat.

I have a coat confession. My coat closet is filled to capacity with all types of coats: ski jackets, leather jackets, trench coats (short and long), vests and denim jackets. I live in New England so it is appropriate that I have several different types of coats. The one item that stands out as an eyesore in my closet is my dress coat. Circa 1996, black, double-breasted, ankle-length with shoulder pads that make me look like I play for the Patriots. Purchased during my baby era and now two sizes too big, sound familiar? Sadly it’s not even that warm. The winter wind roars right up the hem and out the collar. If you can relate to any of this, it’s time to buy a new dress coat.

Whether you need to replace your old one or add this essential staple to your wardrobe, here are some quick tips to help you next time you are shopping for a new dress coat:

Knee length coats look great on women of all heights. If you are on the petite side, do not wear a coat hem past your knees.

Belted coats are classic and sophisticated and ideal for a range of body types. The belt accentuates or creates a waist.

Double-breasted dress coats are warm and look great with a menswear pant or white blouse. Note: this is not the best style for curvy/busty types.

Princess cut is popular and has a very feminine feel. It fits close to the body and flairs out at the bottom. This style is great for pear shapes or women with bigger busts.

Color is up to you, but if you plan to wear it often and a long time stick to a classic neutral like black, charcoal, navy, winter white, camel, or even red.

Fabric is key for warmth and durability. Wool is a classic favorite, but if you are sensitive to wool look for cashmere blends, camel hair, and polyester blends. Denim and Gortex are not appropriate fabrics for a dress coat.

Your coat is the first impression you will make. Make it your best possible impression by updating your look with a figure flattering dress coat. When wearing your Sunday best, don’t be confused for a linebacker. Leave your jean jacket or puffer coat behind. Reach for a knee length wool blend coat to top off your dressy ensemble.

Are you a Mile High Mama?

If you contributed to the list of 100 Reasons to Love Blogging that I compiled a few weeks ago, your name will appear today on the Mile High Mamas blog, sponsored by the Denver Post. Readers also have an opportunity to click the link to the original post and visit your blog. Don't be surprised if you get a few new readers from the great state of Colorado! Woot!

Parent Experiment #65

Clickety here to read my latest, never-been-seen-before post at Mile High Mamas! Maybe my hours of watching the Dog Whisperer and the Super Nanny have paid off. I've finally realized that before I can change my kids, I have to change myself.

***

Also, today is the day my column comes out in the Daily Sentinel. Pick up a copy or clickety here to read it online, but wait until after the lunch hour. That is when they update.

If I'm being honest...

...when I get a forwarded e-mail, I usually delete it without even reading it first. But, every once in a while I get something really good. My good amazing friend Tama, forwarded me poem by Maya Angelou. I love poetry. Thanks Tama!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants
to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a
meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Update: My un-official, unpaid, yet appreciated fact checker Mr. Badati2ud just sent me this. I'm not the only one that got snowed. I lifted the text from a website ending in .edu. Original Maya or not, I like it all the same.

Rest in Peace, Penny #2

She was a good hamster while she lasted. I believe the cause of death was a fall from the cage wall or an upper deck. She had shone no sign of illness. The first hamster looked sick for a few hours and buried itself in it's little house. I found Penny #2 out in the open, near the frontdoor of the cage. It didn't even occur to me to lie to the kids, again. I told them right away. Mini Me cried (The Mourner). Boy #1 volunteered to call and tell S.A.M (The Informer). Boy #2 volunteered to pick up the body and put it in a box (The Undertaker). Then they asked for another pet that wasn't so fragile. ::Sigh:: I loved Penny #2. I'll miss her.

Boo Project 2007

Click here, if you dare, to see me and 42 other participants in Boo Project 2007!

Great week for Good Mail!

Thank you Elasticwaistbandlandy, Jen, and E. Dub for the Good Mail I received this week! Ya'll spoil me.

I don't even dare try to photograph everything Elastikins sent me. I don't want to make ya'll jealous. Although, she did introduce me to the grown-up version of Junior Mints, Mrs. Fields Chocolate Mint Sticks! Yummy and sophisticated.

E.W. made good on our Thursday Swap Day. She sent me the video we swapped and some extras. My, oh my, she is an over-achiever. I know Carronin is going to steal that Motels Greatest Hits cd from me.

Jenmomof 4 is super talented and crafty. She sent me some personalized notecards. You have to check out her design blog. (Link above.) Was that Amy Butler paper you wrapped my cards in, Jen? Wow!
My Good Mail tree runneth over!

Shhhh! Don't tell my kids where I hid their candy. They'll never think to look under my desk! MUUWAHAHAHAAAAAA!

And just like that... October is over.

Despite my love for all things October, I am a little relieved to see it go. It was a busy, fun-filled month. We couldn't have asked for better weather last night. No jackets required over the Halloween costumes. Somehow Mini Me ended up with more candy than "her boys". I think people must of have seen that cute little Indian fairy and gave her two fistfulls of candy, instead of one.

So, now it's November. I have two big events coming up.

I was decompressing on my couch Sunday evening after a very successful Primary program. It couldn't have gone any better. The children did a wonderful job. Then, the phone rang. It was the Stake President. I thought, "Oh crap! What mother called and threatened to leave the church because her kid didn't get a part this year?" Thankfully, that was not the case. He was just calling to ask me to give a 10 minute talk at Stake Conference. Speaking in front of 500+ people stresses me out less than preparing a program for 91 children, because my success or failure depends solely on me and not 91 children and their well-meaning mothers. Wish me luck.

We will also be spending Thanksgiving in L.A. with Secret Agent Man's family. We are all excited. It will be the first long distance trip for the Pacifica and more importantly, I DON'T HAVE TO COOK! WOOT!

My Halloweeny Post

I dare you to click here to read my Halloween post at

Mile High Mamas.

***

P.S. Cheetah girl got robbed!

Returning Netflix with J. Lo and Mark Anthony

Again, I warn you! You will not get this 5 minutes of your life back! I promise this is the last one.

Anniethology Lifestyle Tip #88

Don't forget your sister's birthday. I like send Amazon gift cards to my out-of-town people. It's a great way to send your love from the comfort of your office chair and they are always appreciated.

Carronin turns 45 on Monday! Be sure to go by and wish the Self proclaimed expert on the right and wrong way to do things from No-Bake Boil Lasagna noodles to Yetti defense training, a very happy birthday!

Channeling June Cleaver for the modern mom

Read today's post at Mile High Mamas. Click here.

Check out my new $800.00 coat rack!

We bought this "treadmill" at Sp*rts Auth*rity last Saturday. Secret Agent Man went above and beyond what I expected him to do by buying the one with a TV and fan! The salesdude was very knowledgeable and did an exhaustive job explaining the return policy and extended warranty (hhhmmm.) We got it home, hauled it upstairs, set it up. The TV is awesome, there is even a cable hook up. The fan works great. It even takes my pulse. But, the dang thing won't move. The tread mill part doesn't work! But, I'm having a great time watching TV standing up and taking my pulse with cool air blowing on me.

After an hour on the phone with a customer service rep who has never actually seen one of these in real life, they are going to send us a new mother board...via USPS...that we can replace ourselves... by just connecting twenty simple wires...in 7 to 10 days when it arrives.

I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to spend that kind of money on something that doesn't work!

4 1/2 minutes in the car with me and Mary J.

Warning: You will not get that four and half minutes back!

Monday is the best night of television.

I have to admit to crying when Marie fainted on DWS last night. I watched this clip over and over on my DVR. You can hear her panting in the background before she took a dive. I called mymomma and Carronin in a panic. "Oh no! Not Marie!" I'm glad she's okay. Of course she fainted. She is working so hard, dropping weight like crazy, and they have her vacuumed sealed in that costume. I LOVE YOU MARIE! I'M THERE FOR YOU! BUT,I hope I grow up to look like Jane Seymour.

Mel B. should dance to her own songs more often! Spice Girl reunion? I'm sure someone out there is excited about it.

Did anyone else watch Samantha Sometimes? I've never been a big Christina Applegate fan, but this show was pretty funny.

Was anyone else suckered into watching the Bachelor to watch "the biggest emotional breakdown in Bachelor history?" It wasn't that dramatic. She didn't faint or nothin'. Sure her mascara ran and she was totally dillusional about the guys feelings for her, but I was expecting her to be carried off in a straight jacket. No such luck. You know these Bachelors have certain rules about what they can and can't say to the girls. Despite that, he tried to let her know that he thought of her as just a friend, but she wasn't hearing it. She heard what she wanted to hear. She needs to get a copy of that book, He's Just Not That Into You. Men are not that difficult to decipher if you just listen.

I still have two more shows to watch. I have Chuck and Heroes recorded. Hooray for Monday and DVR!

A Sunday Devotional from the Payne Twins

Rarely seen on this here blog, the Payne Twins re-enact one of their favorite stories from the scriptures.

Having repented of their murderous ways The Anti-Nephi-Lehies bury their weapons of war and refuse to take up arms to defend themselves against their enemies. (Read the story here.) As a result of their sacrifice, more than a thousand souls were converted to Christ.

After battling for days, I had enough of the plastic swords and the crying and fighting that came with them. Instead of just taking the swords away, S.A.M. and I decided to make it a "teaching moment." Initially, they weren't too excited about burying their swords, but they soon got into spirit of it.

Update: The boys super secrety plans (They think I don't know. Of course I know! Moms know everything!) to dig up the swords on Halloween have been thwarted by the family dog. She dug them up this morning and had her way with them. Buwahahahhhaaaaaaaa!

For my bloggy friends....

...and if you are here, that means YOU. If you haven't commented in awhile, at least just say "hi" so I know you were here. Also, for you "blurkers", I want to hear from you, too. You know who you are, don't make me say the city you live in. I see you there on my stat counter. Come on, show a blogger some love and leave a comment.

This little collection of videos are also dedicated to b. and Carrotjello (((hugs)))!

With love from Charo

Nickelback love!

Original Love!

Help Wanted: Tooth Fairy for Hire

Mini Me has lost three, count `em, three teeth in the past week. She is teetering on the edge of unbelief when it comes to the Tooth Fairy. Her "boys" told her that the Tooth Fairy is not real and that it's the parents that leave the money. When she asked me about it, I said, "What would I do with all those teeth?" ( I keep them in my sock drawer, that is what I do with them.)

On the envelope she put her tooth in, Mini Me requested a personal Meet and Greet with the Tooth Fairy.

Mini Me and Secret Agent Man on the Tooth Fairy:

Mini Me: I bet the Tooth Fairy is pretty.

S.A.M: I bet she is a pretty as your mom. (Awww... isn't he sweet?)

Mini me: I bet she is twice as pretty as Mom.

S.A.M.: How is that?

Mini Me: She is like me and Mom put together, but without four eyes, two noses, and two mouths!

How am I supposed to concentrate with these things looking at me?

For the youngest in the family, the hits just keep comin'!

Woohoo! I have a mid-week post over at Mile High Mamas (click here), including a vintage photo of the Clark kids! Hey, Fashionista, remember when you used to part your hair down the middle? I do!

P.S. Go Rockies!

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Installment #1

Cute Fall decoration.
Freaky, give-me-nightmares decoration. Who would take something as sweet as a holiday wreath and turn it into something creepy? Probably the same people who came up with these...

P.S. Soul Stealing Ghoul Wreath available for sale at Michael's for $59.99, just in case you are into that sort of thing.

This was a useful conversation...

...let's have it again over at Mile High Mamas! Click here.

Secret Agent Man saves fashion one pair of Crocs at a time

Click here to read my latest article for The Daily Sentinel.

Does this purse make my butt look big?

This is a special edition of "Bring in the Professional." As a favor to me, my sister Lori, a wardrobe consultant, has agreed to write a quarterly advice column for my blogs. Each season we get her "do"s and "how to"s for fashion. She has written a special article about purses. Here is her advice.

Does This Purse Make My Butt Look Big?

Believe it or not, this question has merit for all of us. The size of your girth and stature dictates the size of purse you should carry. If you are petite in stature and frame, meaning around five feet tall and wear a size 2 or less, do not overwhelm yourself with an oversized bag. The width of a shoulder bag for example, should not extend past the width of your body. The length of the bag should never extend past your waist. Conversely, if you are curvy plus size gal, carry a purse that is in proportion to your figure. Formal wear clutches and wristlets for a quick run to the outlet mall excluded, choose a bag that is as least as wide as you are thick. Carrying a dainty purse on your shoulder emphasizes a full upper arm and makes you look bigger than you are.

When shopping for a purse, Along with function find a purse that complements your body frame. Try on the purse. Why do you think retailers put mirrors in the purse department? Since shoulder bags are so popular, I will use this style as an example. Hang the purse on your shoulder and turn sideways in the mirror. Make sure the length of the purse straps do not allow the bottom of the purse to stop at the thickest part of your body. If the widest part of your body is your hips, makes sure the purse ends at your waist, the smallest part of your body.

How many purses should a woman own? That depends on you and your passion for purses. Since I also emphasize organization with my clients, I suggest keeping your collection to a minimum. Excessive amounts of purses that you do not use add clutter to your closet. For starters I urge my clients own a black purse, brown purse and cream or bone colored purse. Fabric and style is up to you.

Finally, do you have a passion for designer purses but pale at the prices? Check out Bag Borrow or Steal. http://www.bagborroworsteal.com/ It is a website that rents the latest in designer bags. Customers can rent purses as long as they want or buy gently used purses from the outlet at a discount.

I’d love to hear from you! How many purses do you own? Describe your favorite purse. Do you have questions for me? Post your questions here and I will answer. Keep checking back for updates.

Your Loving Fashionista

Mom's sick. Let's make a volcano!

I went to bed early last night with a migraine. I left my three kids alone downstairs. They watched Dancing with the Stars and drew a volcano. It takes up the whole coffee table. They asked me not to put it away while they're at school because they're not done.

What's missing the sacrificial virgin?!

Proof that I am a mean mom. Version 2.0

Yoohoo! Annie? Where am I at? Oh, it's Saturday, I must be at the Mile High Mamas blog. Click here to see just how mean I can be.

Lonely. I'm so lonely.

Secret Agent Man is in Mexico. Or so he says. Big Rich and Mymomma are in Boston. And Carronin in is Las Vegas. It ain't right for all my people to be out of town at the same time.
But, they didn't leave me completely alone. I have the 6 kids that are attached to these 12 feet. I bow down to the mommies who feed this many everyday! You know who you are. Carronin left me with these books to keep me company too. I like to try to picture the characters in my head. Remember the show Roswell? I imagine them to look like the teenage aliens on that show. Although I know it doesn't bode well with the authors description, when I think of hyper-sensitive, hyper-hormonal teenagers with super powers this is what I come up with .
**************************************

Attention Good Mail Girls; I am way overdue to thank super cutie Lauren for the "Office Supplies." Thank you! You made me smile and laugh. Also, it was Ribbon Rock Star's birthday yesterday. Show her some love!

Dawson says, "Is it true? Is Jen really dead?"

You let your kids watch what?!

It's been our family rule that my kids can't play at homes where I don't know the parents. My 8 year old twin boys have been begging me to let them play at the neighbor kids house. I told them no for months. I see their mom on the playground. We have exchanged salutations. We are even involved in some of the same activites i.e. soccer and scouting.

Last Saturday, I gave in and told them they could play over there for an hour. I thought it was weird when them came home after only 30 minutes. I didn't fnd out until bedtime why they came home early.

It wasn't five minutes after I shut off their lights, they were downstairs and crying. They said they had seen a scary movie at the neighbors. I told them they could sleep in my bed. I told them what they saw wasn't real. I asked them if the mom knew what they were watching, they said she did (that's questionable.) I asked the boy, who seemed less freaked out, what the movie was about. He said it was about man eating worms. Turns out the movie was Tremors. (Thanks a lot Kevin Bacon!) I haven't seen it, my husband has.

The next morning they were fine and it was all but forgotten, but I did let my boys know that they weren't going over there again. I told them I was sorry. This was my fault. I didn't know the lady as well as I should have and obviously they have different rules at their house. The one good thing that came out of it is now my boys appreciate more and understand why we have some of the rules that we do.

I vacillated on whether to say something to the neighbor lady or not. I have to live in this neighborhood for a long time and I would just rather avoid strained relations.
What would you have done?