Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 3

Maybe you were looking for my review tonight, maybe you weren't. Fact is, I forgot. I am so unmoved by tonight's contestants that I forgot to open the laptop and share my opin with you all. If you put a gun to my head... you'd have to pull the trigger, because I can't pick a favorite tonight.

I can say that Kai makes me want to hide my children. He's creepy-deepy. I get a grody vibe off of that guy. He is a cardboard sign away from begging on a corner.

I'm doing "Idol, Whooz ur daddy?" in reverse tonight! Cuz I'm crazy like that!

Kai + a bar of soap = Eric Benet with a girlfriend! See Kai? Do you see your potential with a little hygiene?

Sarah Jessica Parker, The Good Witch of the North, Joy Behar and Tin Foil Hats

Joy Behar has never had an original thought in her haggard, jaded life. She stole my joke! That hack said on"The View" today that SJP looked like the Good With of the North. I'm going to start wearing my tin foil hat again, but this time I am going to fashion it into a crown.

Annie's Oscar Recap

... As taken from my Facebook stati. Read from the bottom up. Check back later for my Best and Worst dressed picks.


Annie , Raj Malhotra, and 1.2 billion of their closest friends are cheering! 10:00 p.m.

Annie : Do you know what "The Reader" is about? 9:56pm

Annie is sitting and reflecting on the great shame that will be seen in the eyes of grandchildren and great grand children because Sean Penn said so. 9:53

Annie : Princess Buttercup was better off with Wesley. 9:49pm
Annie : Mickey Rourke gives Hulk Hogan false hope.
Annie : Kate Winslet is looking mumsy tonight. 9:39pm

Annie : Penelope Cruz sees her future in Sophia Lauren and is really, really scared. 9:37pm
Annie : Seeing all that stuff float around on the blue screen makes me want to sneeze. 9:30pm -
Annie : Reece looks like she decided to come to the Oscars 20 minutes ago and in her rush borrowed a dress from Dame Judi Dench. 9:28pm
Annie : Bernie Mack is dead?! 9:20pm

Annie : The moment I've been waiting for...Bollywood in Hollywood! 8:57pm




Annie : Jerry Lewis is still alive?! 8:46pm

Annie wonders if Jennifer Anniston's gown smelled like ciggies. 8:27pm

Annie thinks majeek treecks by a French dude is exactly what the slow hour of the Oscars needed.
Annie has never been "enthralled in uncertainty." 8:12pm
Annie proclaims in unison with Hugh Jackman, "The musical is back!" 8:07pm
Annie : No religious conservatives allowed at the Oscars. Values checked at the door. 7:59pm

Annie thinks Jessica Biel forgot untuck the napkin from the front of her dress after dinner.
Annie says, "And the award for Best Bruting (sic) Presenter goes to...Edward!"
Annie thinks Sarah Jessica Parker looks like the Good Witch of the North in her Oscar gown. 7:17 p.m

This is me.

See ya when I feel better.

Annie on KAFM community radio.

Click here to listen to the podcast of today's radio show.

I brought refreshments and took my bathroom break before the show. The "do" was easily refluffed after the use of headphones. Luckily, I did not have to test the compassion of my co-hosts by fainting. I refrained from "shout-outs," but it was reallllly tempting.

Thanks to my co-hosts. Thanks to everybody who listened. Thanks to makers of Throat Coat Tea, for helping me get through the show, despite my sore throat and a special thanks to bloggy buddy forever, Heffalump, for calling into the show and slow pitching me a softball of a question that I could swing at!

Annie on Idol: Instant Reviews

Contestant #1 whose name isn't worth remembering. JPL sang this song better. She looks like Feather Tuscadero beat up Betty Boop and stole her top.


Ricky-Love the velvet blazer. Good choice. Hard to go wrong with a crisp white shirt and nice fitting blazer. Ricky sings...zzzzzzz. Simon and I seem to be on the same wavelength tonight.


Alexis Grace- Cutie!I like to cheer on the mommies. I like the red lips. Her face looks like a young Dolly Parton. Good job Mamacita.


Ryan is so awkward on the fly.Brent Keith- I see a dimple. Guess who's going back to his hick town. Did Paula really hold up Buckie Covington as a success?! Ha! Simon prempted me.


Stevie Wright- Oh no! Starting off as atrain wreck. Experiencing physcial discomfort. Terrrible song choice. Karoke at a friends birthday party.


Anoop!- A little eyebrow grooming could go a long way. First four bars...best guy so far. He is going to get way more than the Desi vote.I would love to see him in an ice cream white suit.


Casey Carlson- Hello? Who is calling please? Disney? Yeah, hold on Casey is right here.


Oil Rigger- We've seen this song performed better on this show before. He has good moves for a big boy.


Ann Marie Boskovich - She could sell floss and lip gloss. Good teeth, good lips. Didn't like the song...finish strong though.


Steven Fowler- sang "I Want to Rock With You" but he forgot the metallic outfit that made this song great.


Ms. Coco Pants Tatiana- How did she make it and the Osmond didn't? This song just made Whitney Houston go back to crack!


Mejor dicho Senorita Pantalones Locas.

Danny Gokey- Most confindent performer of the night. I'm not a fan, but he did good.

3 Best Performances in my not so humble and usually right opinion: Alexis Grace, Anoop, and Danny.

Talk radio is not ready for me

....and I'm not quite ready for it.

I've been invited to be a guest co-host for a techie-type radio show this week. What I lack in knowledge of the subject, I will more than make up for in charisma. The other hosts, Adam Cochran and Rick Castellini have no idea of the pandoras box they are about to open putting a microphone in front my mouth.

It's been my personal philosophy in life to take advantage of every offered experience and not let my insecurity get in my way. That being said, I do have few reservations and/or questions on what to expect and how to prepare for my first radio gig:

1. Can I bring refreshments into the box?

2. Is it a box or booth or sound room or studio?

3. Do I have to wear the headphones? I'm afraid they'll crush the do.

4. Can I give "shout-outs?" Holla to my homies!

5. Will there be bathroom breaks?

6. Is techie spelled with a "y" or "ie"?

7. What is the difference between a "techy(ie) and a computer geek?

8. If I faint will my co-hosts seek immediate medical attention or will they wait until the show is over?

9. Does this gig include dental coverage?

10. Does Sean Hannity know that I will be in direct competition with his time slot and does he care?

I'll answer this one... I don't think so.

To listen to my talk radio debut online, go to kafmradio.org this Wednesday from noon-1 p.m MST.

Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 2

I've been a busy lady lately, but not too busy to fire up the "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?" macheen and crank out another DNA match for our A.I. contestants.

Pugsley from the original "Addams Family"+a pin cushion= Nathaniel

Version 2.0 for Chellie and B.

I hate the Tooth Fairy!

The downside of having trusting, faithful, loyal children is that, after what feels like a jillion missing teeth later, they still believe in the Tooth Fairy. Whether my ten-year-olds deep down think she is real or still believe in the process-put tooth under pillow, get money-is besides the point, I'm still paying them $$ for losing teeth.

I've been delinquent in my Tooth Fairy duties as of late (that's nothing new). So, I tried to come up with something extra special. Despite the $$, I love that my ten-year-old boys will still hold hands with me in public, they still love stuffed animals, and the still believe in the Tooth Fairy.

(not my picture. taken from the internet)

Tonight, I spent 45 minutes learning how to fold a dollar into a heart. Too bad that blanking Tooth Fairy is going to get all the credit.

Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur daddy? Season 8, Part 1

Due to the success of last year's "Idol, Whooz ur daddy?" posts, the budget has gone up for this season. I am a busy woman who doesn't have the time for such frivolous analysis, so have acquired the help of a macheen to do the DNA matches for me. I put pictures of the contestants in the macheen and it provides the closest possible matches. I have to say the that macheen is a lot more brutal than I ever was. Sometimes the macheen is unable to find DNA matches for the Idols with actual people, so it will pick cartoon characters, animals, or inanimate objects.

This contestant is already gone-ja. She'll have to go home and cry on the shoulders of her daddy, Axl, and her mommy, Rainbow Bright.

Is Julie Brown sitting in Pee Wee's playhouse?




I don't understand this one. The macheen picked a crab and a brown belt. What's up with that? Something must be wrong with the wiring. I may need to look into that.




Fortunately, I know my Bollywood. Anoop, has been matched with Bollywood superstar Abhishek Bachchan and a laundry basket.




Lucky, lucky Adam. He has been matched with Monchichi, much like our boy "Archie" was last year and Michael "Hey kids rock and roll" Damian. Who wouldn't want to look like Michael Damian? Hello?!

Because I love you and I want you to be happy

Winter pudge getting you down? Are you hating everything in your closet and how you look in it?


Here are a couple of no-fail items that are on sale right now, online at the Coldwater Creek Outlet, that will take your attitude from blah to fabulous, even if your hips are telling the secret that you single-handedly finished off the seven-layer dip from your Super Bowl party.


Trust me, now. I wouldn't lead you astray. I get nothing from CCO for plugging these items. I bought them, have them in my home, put them on and skipped around in front of my full length mirror, I was soooo happy to have them. I want the same happines for you.


This black Ponte Pencil skirt is a steal at $14.99. The seaming, which is hard to see in the pic is very figure flaterring. The fishtail detail in the back is super flirty. And Ladies, I am telling you it's sooo forgiving.

Okay, I know what your thinking. You are afraid to take my word for it, you are afraid to shop online because it might not fit and who wants to go through the trouble of shipping things back and forth. I hear ya. I do. But these, my friend, these sassy red slingbacks cannot be passed up. They run true to size and you don't have to wear Spanx to get them on. Hello?! Look at them! You can put a price on red hot fabulousness and it's $20.99.

Still incredulous? How does an extra 25% off or free shipping sound? I went to retailmenot.com and used a coupon code at checkout that took an extra discount off. See? Do you see? How much I love you? Do you?! And I don't want anything in return. I'm a giver. I just want you to be happy.

((((BIG HUGS from me to you))))))))

The comment for all occassions

It happens. No one is at fault. You get behind on visiting your favorite blogs and don't have time to write a heart-felt comment. No worries, never fear, the comment for all occasions is here!

"....and I bet it smells like cotton candy."

Go ahead and use it, if you like. It's my gift to you.

Annie gives and takes her own advice

According to my stat counter, readership is way down. Maybe you, like me, are suffering from the winter gloomies. I address this in my upcoming article for the Home and Garden section of the Daily Sentinel. I'm posting it early because I think we need it. BUT, I am contractually obligated (Well, not really, but I think it was mentioned in a phone call at some point.) to not reveal the full text of my article until after it comes out in the newspaper....so, I 'm just gonna take out a few words.

1/29/2009 It's now Saturday! Here is the full text of the article as it appears in today's paper:

One week ago today marks the day considered by those who have the time and energy to figure these things out as the most depressing day of the year.

Apparently, by January 24th bills from Christmas come due, people have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions and winter temperatures are at their coldest. So, if you were feeling inordinately crummy a week ago, there was a bona fide, scientifically-proven reason for it.

You are not alone. Many people feel like hibernating during the winter months. Couple that instinct with economic woes and feeling lousy over another failed resolution, and you find yourself with only enough motivation to keep your couch company while your dog gives you a foot bath.

Here are a few tips to get you and your household duties through, what I call, the Winter Gloomies:

Dress from head to toe first thing in the morning
I took this advice from cleaning guru “The Flylady” of Flylady.net. Shuffling around in your slippers and bathrobe all morning won’t help you feel motivated to accomplish the tasks of the day. Flylady suggests dressing from head –to-toe each morning. Being completely dressed will help you feel ready to work and help you fight the urge to crawl back into that warm bed.

Set a timer for 15 minutes
I can do anything for 15 minutes, regardless of the unpleasantness of the task. Whenever I have a household job I need to tackle, but can’t muster the motivation to get started, I set a timer for 15 minutes and get to work. When the timer goes off, I allow myself to stop what I am doing, even if I’m not finished. But, more often than not when the 15 minutes are up, I have hit my stride and I am willing to see my task to completion.

Using a timer is also a great motivator to help kids complete their chores. They love to try to “beat the clock.” My boys have cut their dishwasher unloading time down to an Olympic-worthy three minutes!

I believe in this advice so much, that I actually give timers as gifts to friends and family.

Clean during commercial breaks
Give your DVR a rest for the evening and use the commercial breaks to tidy up. You’ll find that by the time American Idol is over, you’ve managed to straighten your family room, sweep and mop the kitchen floor and fold a couple of loads of laundry.

Let the sun shine in
Even when the temperatures are cold, western Colorado is blessed with lots of sunshine. Exposure to sunlight helps the body keep higher levels of serotonin, a chemical in the brain that helps a person have a sense of well being. So, open up your drapes and blinds to fill your home with natural light during the day. Set yourself and your ironing board up in a sunny spot and iron those winter blues away.

Don’t start any big cleaning projects
Yes. You read that right. Don’t clean your garage. Don’t clean out your closet. Don’t start any home improvement projects. Just like hibernation is a natural state, so is the renewal of energy that comes with spring. Save the big jobs for when the bulbs bloom.

Instead of a big project- try a little one like, organizing your cupboards, refolding the sheets in your linen closet or changing out the accessories in your bathroom.

I just recently bought new pictures and towels for my guest bathroom. The little effort I made to spruce up that room motivated me further take on other projects.

Focus on bathrooms and kitchens
If the Winter Gloomies have such a hold on you that you can only manage to do the bare minimum of household chores, focus on the bathroom and kitchen. Keeping these rooms clean will help you to stay healthy. The last thing you need on top of everything else is the flu.

Plan your vacation
Give yourself something to look forward to by planning your vacation. Perhaps looking at warm, sunny beach destinations on-line will not only help you beat the blues, but it may also help you renew your weight-loss resolutions and deter you from finishing off that calorie-laden seven layer dip from your Super Bowl party.

Give your toes a treat
Take your tootsies from “looking Minnesota to feeling California.” It may not be flip-flop weather yet, but your toes don’t know that. Get a pedicure in bold and bright summer colors. Don’t worry about clashing with your winter wardrobe, nobody will see them under your woolen socks and boots, but you’ll know they’re there.

In the immortal words of the early 90’s icons Wilson Phillips, “…hold on for one more day…things will go your way.”
You may feel down, irritable and unmotivated now, but the very first whisperings of spring are literally just days away. Don’t make any major decisions; don’t take on any big tasks, just white- knuckle- it through the last dark days of winter. You will see that when the bees start “abuzzing” and the birds start “asinging,” you will too.

Mormons mean money

If you haven't noticed an influx of Mormons on television, you aren't paying attention. TV producers know that putting a Mormon on their show means more viewers, more ratings, more money, MORMONS!

Being a Mormon lady, sometimes I am proud of the other Mormons I see on TV, i.e. David Archuleta and sometimes I'm not, i.e. _____________. I won't say who. Fill in the blank yourself.

I look forward to tonight's episode of American Idol. They will be showing the auditions in Salt Lake Citay! I can't wait to pick out my favorite fellow Mormon (although I am almost positive we have already seen some from the AZ auditions). But, I won't vote for them just because we belong to the same church. They have to earn my vote just like anyone else.

If you are a fan of my "Idol, Whooz Ur Daddy?" posts, they are coming soon. I start them usually after Hollywood week when the finalists are picked.

Holla at your Mormons!

Love me, love my friends

Click here to vote on whether or not my sister's husband looks like Edward Cullen.

Then go here and wish my friend Millie a Happy Birthday!

Then visit my friend, Aubrey's new blog "Contemporation," a feast for the culturally famished.

And if you don't have a profile already, go to Facebook.com, create an account and be my friend.

The month of love is coming up. Love me, love being my friend.

Save the drama for your mama

When it comes to behavior, there are two kinds of kids. Click here to find out what they are.

How to be happy or at least fake it

I am a religious conservative. I did not vote for Obama. Despite that I would love to relish in the history and excitement of this new week. I would love to feel the dawning of a new day that the other half of America is feeling. I consider myself an optimistic person who loves a party, but getting myself geared up the this inauguration and the next four years has been tough. Optimism has always come naturally for me. I've rarely had to think about how to rally my reserves of positive thinking to get me through a funk, but in this political climate I have to put fingers to keypad to remind myself what it takes to feel hopeful for the future.

• P.A.C.E. = Positive Attitude Changes Everything. I learned this from my pompom girl days. If you expect the worst you will get the worst, if you hope for the best, it will come. Sounds a little like the Law of Attraction, eh, Aubrey?
  


• Draw energy from positive people. Oprah, Girl, I'm trying. I want to party with you.
  


• Think of all President Obama's good characteristics. He wrote a really nice letter to his girls in Parade magazine this week. He looks good with his shirt off... that's all I got for now...this is a work in progress.

• "You don't get more out of people by expecting less." I believe I came up with this quote. I love my country. I have always had respect for the presidency no matter who was in it. I want to have high hopes for Obama. I believe that our high hopes for him will translate into good things.
  


• Fake it until you make it. This I can do! Being able to be fake is a blessing and and curse. I'm going to wear a party hat and clap and sing along with Bruce Springstein, Oprah, Sheryl Crow, and Bono. Woot!!! Yay!!!

See all the exclamation marks? My positive vibes are surfacing already!

p.s. Because you asked for it. I too can appreciate delicious irony.

This is how I lose readers...

...I post a Bollywood dance number.

It's still my blog, I tell ya. Mine, mine, mine. And it wouldn't be a good weekend at my house without a Bollywood movie. This is what I am going to watch, er, re-watch this (dateless) weekend.

This dance number is from Bhool Bhulaiyaa. Warning: Blood and guts at the end.

Here's the breakdown.

When U.S.-based Siddharth (Shiney Ahuja) ((hot)) visits his Indian hometown with his new wife (Vidya Balan) ((one of Bollywood's best actresses)), he insists they stay at the ancestral home, laughing off family members' warnings of ghostly goings-on in the mansion. But events soon make him reconsider his beliefs. As unexplained and terrifying occurrences arise, Siddharth calls on his doctor friend (Akshay Kumar) ((also hot)) to help solve the mystery. Manoj Joshi co-stars in this suspenseful thriller.

Loving Bollywood is not out of the ordinary for me and a billion Indians, but I am the only one of my friends that I know with an extensive Bollywood DVD collection.

What are your 0ut-of-the-ordinary likes?

Annie makes a prediction

According to MSN News,

Oscar presenters to be top secret until showtime
Jan. 14, 2009, 7:38 AM EST

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Guess who's coming to the Oscars this year?
Leslie Unger, a spokeswoman for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, says none of the superstar presenters will be announced before the February 22 telecast.
Awards shows, including the Academy Awards, typically tout celebrity presenters to generate interest. But Oscar producers Laurence Mark and Bill Condon are breaking tradition. They're hoping to lure TV viewers by keeping the star power a secret until showtime.
Unger said Wednesday: "There will be fantastic movie stars that appeal to a whole range of movie lovers and fans of our show. We're just not going to tell you who they all are."
The Oscars will air live from the Kodak Theatre.

I, little Annie Payne of Fruita, Colorado predict on this day, January 14th of 2009 that the presenters of the Acamdemy Awards are being kept secret because....President Obama will make an appearance at the Oscars to show his gratitude to Hollywood for their undying devotion and $upport. Can you imagine it?!

You heard it here. You heard it first.

Annie on the Golden Globes

I stand not alone

I, along with a billion Indians, was so glad to see A.R. Rahman , one of the Top 10 highest-selling artists in the world, win and Shahrukh Khan , the king of Bollywood, present at the Golden Globes. I have not seen "Slumdog Millionaire." It's rated R and I have a personal policy to not watch rated R movies but, if perchance I do fault because it's an award winning film with an award winning soundtrack by the "Mozart of Mumbai," I will keep that hypocrisy and lack of integrity to myself.

Anniethology Best Dressed

There were a lot of ladies looking fabulous last night, i.e. Amy Adams and Rita Wilson (she had fringe in all the right places) but I base my best dressed awards on who looks better than usual. Kate Winslet looked better than ever in the reflective light of her two Golden Globe awards.

Who forgot to add bleach?

Muted tones (regrettably) were the color of the night. A couple ladies went with a washed out gray. Her name already escapes me because she is so 2008. Umm...the gal that won "Dancing with the Stars." Oh yeah... Brooke Burke. I didn't think you could make someone so incredibly fake baked look washed out, but her gown was such a drab color of dirty laundry, she looked like she had the flu.

Anniethology Worst Dressed

Whoever the handler is for Mickey Rourke deserves an award of their own. I don't know what kind of voodoo it took to get that coked-up hack a job, let alone an award! They deserve a Christmas bonus for just for propping him up. I guess selling your soul to the devil to get Mickey to look presentable would be too much to ask of anyone. BUT he is not my worst dressed of the night.

"Two guesses on what they are talking about."

Renee Zellweger had bedhead and a bad dress. Her people need to be fired. Hire me, Nene, hire me! Kisses... I'm still going to see your movie on Valentines Day.

Tina Fey came in as a close second for my pick as Worst Dressed. She looked messy, greasy, and doesn't have a chestal area worth exposing the way she insists on doing. Tina, girl, I can help you, too.

People who got the shaft

Brangelina went home empty-handed, but for pete sake do they have to have everything?!

My girl Kyra Sedgwick did not win again for her role in "The Closer." Someday, my friend, someday.

Hip-Hip Hooray and Boo on you

Cheers for the actors and crew of "John Adams." Thanks E-dub for insisting I rent that from Netflix. Paul, you are cuo-cuo pants. Laura, your hair was full and fab.

And thumbs down for Miley Cyrus. You can dress a girl up in a pretty gown, but can you teach her not to stick her tongue out at the camera. Miley Girl, there are tongue scrapers for that white stuff that ails you. They're in the mail. Thank me later.

My Sting crush is officially over!

See ya at the Oscars!

10 Mistakes Mommy Bloggers Make

You know those mommies at the playground who look like they have it all figured out and you find yourself thinking, “What’s she got that I ain’t got?” Those mommies exist in the blogosphere, too.

They make blogging look so easy. They write one measly post about some funny thing their kid did or said and they get double or triple digit comments. Take a different mommy blogger with the similar silly story and nothing, zip, zilch, nada comments. What’s the difference?

Here are ten missteps in mommy blogging that can make the difference between a comment box full of love and a comment box full of chirping crickets. Click here to read more at Mile High Mamas.

30-some years and counting! My life in pictures..

...and what a wonderful life it is.

I made it to the top of Diamond Head with the hair still at a Fluff Level 10.

The Clark Family looks toward their bright future.

Click on the pic to see the leprechaun do a jig.

New York Citay!

Shiny, shiny!

Always at the bottom of the totem pole.

Mis queridas maracuchas

My cheerleader

My eagle scout

My twins following the example of Jesus

Our first home

The twins birth day

Baby A, 8.3 lbs. Baby B, 7 lbs

7th grade

Thanks for stopping by on my birthday!

Anniethology Top 8 Posts of 2008

Based on number of comments:

8. "If You See Her" Impersonating Sarah Palin was definitely a highlight of 2008.
7. "Pictures of the Sarah Palin Rally"
6. "Cheat" I don't know what's a hotter topic, Kim Kardashian's lack of dance skills or abortion.
5. "Annie Has Big News" My move from the now defunct, but yet beloved Charm Page to the Home and Garden section of the Daily Sentinel.
4. "Finders Keepers" Wondering why there is an up-swing of traffic to your blog? Perhaps Lauren gave you a linkie!
3. "Anniethology Question(s) of the Day" Although I wasn't that comfortable with it, delving into the politico garnered me more comments.
2. "The End" It's an old trick. Want to know who loves you? Threaten to quit your blog!
1. "Anniethology De-Lurking Day" I don't mind all y'all who prefer to sit back and read, I've been doing a lot of that lately myself, but it's nice to hear from you every once in a while, too.

My personal favs were my series of "Anniethology on Idol: Idol, Whooz ur Daddy?" posts. I cannot wait for new episodes of American Idol and create a fresh new crop of look-a-like pics! If you want to relive the magic, check my archives.

Happy New Year! Come back soon to read about my New Year's Resolutions!